Dirty talk: Do you like it?

[woodstockbirdybird]

In sexual situations, do you enjoy dirty talk, or do you find it a turn-off? Or do you enjoy it up to a point, but get turned off if it's too graphic and/or effusive? I've dated women across the spectrum - some who initiated it and were porn-star level verbal, some who enjoyed hearing it but were too shy to engage in it much themselves, and some who didn't care for it at all. I'm sure men run the gamut, as well. So, what do you say?

Personally, I like it.

[AHunter3]

It makes me feel like I've ended up in bed with a 3rd grader who has a bad case of potty mouth.

[aceplace57]

I find it a turn off.

Sounds to much like porn movie dialogue.

I don't mind normal talk during sex. But exaggerated dirty talk leaves me cold. The girl is trying too hard.

[Alice The Goon]

I like it up to a point, but get turned off the second I am insulted or it gets too graphic. You do not want to call me names when my teeth are that close to your dick.

[Silver Fire]

LOL AHunter.

I do, but it depends. If it sounds rehearsed or otherwise hokey, it's a turn off. Dirty talk is sort of an art, I think.

[woodstockbirdybird]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

I like it up to a point, but get turned off the second I am insulted or it gets too graphic. You do not want to call me names when my teeth are that close to your dick.

Calling you names? Man, my definition of "dirty talk" must be fairly vanilla.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

I've gotten to become a real fan of it--my last GF was gifted at it, saying exactly the sort of encouraging sounds (sometimes as little as "Oh, yeah, I like that") and she had a very fetching way of grunting rhythmically that I really liked. Before her, it was semi-comical stuff I used to hear that turned me on as it turned me off, but it's nice to be with a woman who's enjoying it and lets me know what she's enjoying.

[Gil-Martin]

I sometimes enjoy it up to a point, but get turned off if it's too graphic and/or effusive.

[DivineComedienne]

Love it.

I am pretty verbal during sex, especially when I kind of go into the "zone" and the words start coming out. Basically, I'm just saying whatever I'm thinking - not really obscene, but mostly "words of encouragement" that are kind of breathless, kind of sexy, that let him know that he's doing a good job, keep doing that, that feels great, etc.

I like hearing it too, if a guy's talking sexy to me during sex about how much he's enjoying it, how sexy I am, that sort of thing, it helps me along to an orgasm. As long as he doesn't say something like, "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"

[Sleeps With Butterflies]

Originally Posted by woodstockbirdybird

Personally, I like it.

I know, and you still owe me about sixty bucks.

[Sleeps With Butterflies]

Seriously though, I like it most of the time. Occasionally I'm not in the mood, but more often than not it's pretty fun.

[woodstockbirdybird]

Originally Posted by Sleeps With Butterflies

I know, and you still owe me about sixty bucks.

Sixty? That's not the way I remember that exchange.

[Alice The Goon]

Originally Posted by woodstockbirdybird

Calling you names? Man, my definition of "dirty talk" must be fairly vanilla.

On seeing the question, I immediately flashed to the SouthPark movie, when Saddam and Satan are having sex and one says to the other "Oh yeah, you like that, don't you bitch" or something to that effect. I'd be like, "No, no I don't, and get offa me right now!"

[MeanOldLady]

I like it until it gets cheesy.

Edit: Also, see above. And another thing, while a certain amount of male dominance is a huge turn-on, please remember this is real life, and not internet porn. Do not slap me in the face with your dick. Thanks.

[Maggie the Ocelot]

Oh hell yes.

[GHO57]

I don't mind instructions, it's after all about both of us... and I don't mind talking... I've had actual conversations during sex. But the "dirty" talk thing is just hilarious.

I usually do my best not to laugh... it's just when someone does the whole "let's explain to the blind viewers what's happening in graphic detail"-thing that I usually crack up. you know the stuff, straight from low budget porn, "I love how your huge....blah blah". Not blind me, and most of the time I do actually know what's happening without the narrative.

Now, if submission happens to be her kink, I'll make her beg for sex.. and beg me to stop. But there's no way I'm doing the dirty talk thing; I'll pull her hair, I'll even make her bleed... but it's sex, it's not fucking amateur dinner theater. If I want to wear mask and spew "dirty" words, I'll audition for a hellraiser sequel.

.....

Hmm... I do the same thing with fighting... I don't posture, or threaten people. I see no point in pushing people. If you want a piece of me, step up and let's get it going. I guess I'm just task oriented by nature.

[Sleeps With Butterflies]

Originally Posted by GHO57

If you want a piece of me, step up and let's get it going.

I didn't think they still made people who talked like this.

[bup]

Originally Posted by Sleeps With Butterflies

I didn't think they still made people who talked like this.

And you like it, don't you, you little slut?

[Cat Fight]

Sure, most of the time, but as has been mentioned just the wrong word can make me laugh, or wince (and not in a good way). This isn't just offensive stuff that's clearly from a shitty porn – bad grammar can turn me off.

[woodstockbirdybird]

Originally Posted by woodstockbirdybird

Sixty? That's not the way I remember that exchange.

Oh, wait - sixty bucks. Right.

[Antinor01]

Sometimes, but I'm not that talkative during sex.

[Leaffan]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

I like it until it gets cheesy.

Edit: Also, see above. And another thing, while a certain amount of male dominance is a huge turn-on, please remember this is real life, and not internet porn. Do not slap me in the face with your dick. Thanks.

OK. Sorry about that.

[GHO57]

Originally Posted by Sleeps With Butterflies

I didn't think they still made people who talked like this.

Think, act, be... not talk (not saying it was sort of the point).

Haven't you ever seen a weigh-in brawl?

I'm talking about the theatrical aspects of the thing.

The usual pattern is:
"I'm going to fuck you up"
<push>
"I'll kill you"
<shove>
<throw water>
"That's it!!"
<rolling on the ground furiously hugging>.


Hard words don't mean shit, it's just silly.. and a little sad to think some people seem to need it to preform.
I'm guessing they're the same people who need dirty talk to get it up.
Case in point.

[pricciar]

I think it is funny when someone finds dirty talk embarrassing. There's not much room for her to be embarrassed when I am there with all my shame for the world to see.

[Hypno-Toad]

When it's sincere, it's enjoyable. But when it's cheesy, I get uncomfortable and think that she's not really having a good time.

[Not a Platypus]

Not really. My SO wishes I would talk dirty, but when I try to comply with his requests, it just sounds like, well, like I'm trying. It doesn't feel natural at all, so I just think I sound like a goof. He doesn't talk much, either.

Generally he only asks when I'm going down on him and, frankly, I have better things to do with my mouth at that point.

[AClockworkMelon]

The depraved depths of my mind are laid bare when it comes to dirty talk.

[salinqmind]

No. Shut up, you sound like an idiot.

Earlier I cooked your burger n' fries, washed your clothes, and we spent an hour doing yard work, and now you're spewing out "dirty talk" and expect me to be turned on???

SHUT. UP.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Originally Posted by salinqmind

No. Shut up, you sound like an idiot.

Earlier I cooked your burger n' fries, washed your clothes, and we spent an hour doing yard work, and now you're spewing out "dirty talk" and expect me to be turned on???

SHUT. UP.

Okay, Mom.

[Zebra]

Originally Posted by Silver Fire

LOL AHunter.

I do, but it depends. If it sounds rehearsed or otherwise hokey, it's a turn off. Dirty talk is sort of an art, I think.

Agreed, you have to be good at it. It isn't just talking dirty.

[purplehorseshoe]

Boy, I guess it just depends, doesn't it? Being told what's good, what works, what feels good, or what the other person would like to do next can be fun!

Plus it can be edifying. Real-life transcript follows:

A: <sexy request>
B: Really? I didn't know you ... okay! <complies with request>
A: <happy noises>

[wolf-alice]

I kind of like being insulted, (with the MeanOldLady "Do not slap me in the face with your dick. Thanks" Corollary, as outlined above), and if you're going to talk dirty to me, you have to do it with a bit of confidence and, you know, joie de vivre. There's nothing worse than a tentative dirty-talker (You're dick's real hard, is it? Intriguing. Do go on).

And I'm not much for running commentaries, but I have, on occasion, come out with some completely fucking filthy one-liners that have, as it were, drawn matters to a swift conclusion. I have to be in the mood, though. I don't like being asked to do it - I tend to get a bit sarcastic and literal, as per this.

[Onomatopoeia]

Not a fan of the dirty talk.

I also don't like being told what to do, or asked if I "like that." What's the deal with women and this question during sex? If I didn't like it I wouldn't be there.

I'm good with moans, screams, and even a little acrobatic action, but don't ruin it by making me feel you're spoiling for abuse.

[Zebra]

NSFW


Nobody has linked to this yet?



Part 2

[Whack-a-Mole]

Originally Posted by Silver Fire

Dirty talk is sort of an art, I think.

^^This.

As with many things it can be good or it can be bad or indifferent.

Yes it can get silly and be a turn-off but then artfully done at the right moments can be a huge turn-on. Better still in true throes of passion, just going with the flow on the way to ecstasy, is the best.

[Whack-a-Mole]

Originally Posted by Onomatopoeia

...don't ruin it by making me feel you're spoiling for abuse.

You're doing it wrong.

Dirty talk in no way has to be abusive. It can if that is your thing but certainly does not have to be.

[Surly Chick]

Originally Posted by bup

And you like it, don't you, you little slut?

Thank you, bup. My laugh for the day.

[Malthus]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

On seeing the question, I immediately flashed to the SouthPark movie, when Saddam and Satan are having sex and one says to the other "Oh yeah, you like that, don't you bitch" or something to that effect. I'd be like, "No, no I don't, and get offa me right now!"

If I was having sex with either, that would be my reaction no matter what they said.

[tdn]

It's a really tricky thing. If it moves the plot along, then great. (As in "I really want to fuck you now" or "I love it when you lick my elbow.") But running commentary, not so much. And overly "clever" names for things just kill the mood. ("Ooh baby, stick your magic mushroom into my strawberry shortcake!" Huh?)

Many years ago I spent some time with a girl who was wonderful in every way except for her bedroom patter. "Ooh ah oh! Ooh ah oh! Ooh ah oh!" She never changed it up to ooh oh ah or oh ah ooh. It got very distracting.

[Onomatopoeia]

Originally Posted by tdn

Many years ago I spent some time with a girl who was wonderful in every way except for her bedroom patter. "Ooh ah oh! Ooh ah oh! Ooh ah oh!" She never changed it up to ooh oh ah or oh ah ooh. It got very distracting.

Yep. I've had one of those. As Elaine said: Fake, fake, fake, fake.

[corkboard]

I had a girlfriend who would tell me to talk nasty to her. It really was sort of bittersweet, because I was turned on by the fact that she was turned on by that, but I was completely unable to do it the way she wanted. I had no experience in that arena and just didn't know what to say. So I'd end up losing interest in what I was doing, or what she was doing to me, because I was wracked with panic over what to say and to be just nasty enough to make her happy but not so nasty to completely ruin it for both of us.

We didn't last too long.

[Interconnected Series of Tubes]

Quoth the girlfriend: "the dirtier the better."

Shit. Where's my thesaurus.

[gwendee]

My husband and I have been together off and on for just over 20 years. We are pretty compatible, and our amorous exchanges aren't really what I'd call dirty.

Exactly 2 times I've been carried away in the moment enough to spontaneously blurt something truly raunchy. Both times he misheard me, and it brought the action to a halt.

Patton Oswalt talks about G rated filth "i'm gonna fill your hoohah with goof juice" and how it's far creepier than actual filth.

[LouisB]

I only talk dirty to myself and I love it.

[Not a Platypus]

Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe

Boy, I guess it just depends, doesn't it? Being told what's good, what works, what feels good, or what the other person would like to do next can be fun!

Plus it can be edifying. Real-life transcript follows:

A: <sexy request>
B: Really? I didn't know you ... okay! <complies with request>
A: <happy noises>

I don't know if I'd consider "what the other person would like to do next" to be dirty talk. We do that, and I think of it like a simple request, no different than asking for a particular cheese on your burger at dinner. My SO would agree with you, though. He'll ask me if something feels good or if I like whatever it is he's doing and I think it's distracting.

Am I moaning? Am I squirming around? Yes? Then I like it. He just wants me to SAY it, for whatever reason.

I guess I just don't get it.

[Jack Batty]

I like it, but there's a fine line.

"Fuck me harder, you beast" is good.

"Slop your man-gravy over my taco boat" leaves something to be desired.

[Alice The Goon]

Originally Posted by LouisB

I only talk dirty to myself and I love it.

That reminds me of a story. A few years ago, one of my friends heard, coming from her neighbor's house, the sounds of smacking and verbal abuse. She called the police, who came and also heard what was going on, and entered the neighbor's house, expecting to find someone getting their ass kicked. It was a man, smacking his own thigh, verbally abusing himself, and whacking off.

That wasn't you, was it?

[tdn]

Originally Posted by LouisB

I only talk dirty to myself and I love it.

Oh yeah, baby. Go fuck myself. Do I like that, baby? Do I like it when I do that to me? I am such a dirty slut.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

That reminds me of a story. A few years ago, one of my friends heard, coming from her neighbor's house, the sounds of smacking and verbal abuse. She called the police,

Years ago I was lying in bed with my then-GF, and we heard the sounds of the woman next door screaming and moaning. GF got distressed and wondered if she was getting beaten up. She thought maybe we should call the police or at least knock on her door. I suggested that it didn't sound like she was in pain -- quite the opposite, in fact -- and that she might prefer some privacy.

"But it sounds like she's getting stabbed!"

Well, yeah, in a way.

[Rigamarole]

Love it. Good sex is all about feeling really comfortable and uninhibited. Nothing kills the mood like someone who gets offended/embarrassed/annoyed by something you do or say during sex thus forcing it into a more inhibited experience. I don't want to walk on eggshells with a partner because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting judged harshly for it while I'm in the middle of fucking her brains out.