Earlier today, somehow I wound up down in Brentwood with an hour to kill, so I went looking for the Fatburger at Wilshire & Bundy that a friend had told me about. Had trouble finding the place, so I asked a homeless guy for directions, and he pointed me in the right direction. (Didn’t give him any money, since I had nothing smaller than $20, and I don’t like supporting people’s crack habits anyway.)
After a delicious repast (skinny fries FTW!) I had gained some spare change, so I decided to revisit the bum and give him a quarter…after all, he did give me directions earlier. When I saw him I said, “Here you go” and tossed him the coin, which accidentally bounced from his hand and landed next to his feet. And then…
Instead of saying something grateful, like “Thank you” or “Blessings of Akatosh be on ye,” he snorted derisively and KICKED THE QUARTER INTO THE GUTTER!
Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Homeless Person. You are FUCKING HOMELESS. I only gave you money because you were nice enough to give me directions earlier, and you looked genuinely homeless (unlike those professional panhandlers who plague the freeway exits in L.A. – those guys can up to $60K of unreported income in a year!) Not only did you spoil my Random Act of Senseless Kindness, you have guaranteed that any scruffy, smelly, waste of human flesh I next encounter will get not even a penny from me. I don’t care if you think a quarter won’t buy your next fix, that’s not my fucking problem.
Ever hear the saying, Beggars Can’t Be Choosers? Learn it. Live it. Or clean yourself up and get a fucking job, like the rest of us douchebags trying to eek out a living during The Great Depression II.
Well, did he ask you for money? Was he holding a cup or a sign or doing a little soft-shoe with a hat on the ground? Bum, perhaps. Homeless, perhaps. Beggar, maybe not. I have found that unless they’re actively or passively trying to solicit change in some way, none is wanted.
This sentence changed my opinion–for what it’s worth–from neutral/leaning-toward-your-side to firmly on the side of the person on the receiving end of your “charity.” Your obviously low opinion of him and people like him was no doubt blatantly obvious to the guy, and he probably mustered up a little pride and decided that he didn’t need the money that badly.
I didn’t toss it “in his general direction.” I looked him in the eye and said, “Here you go.” It wasn’t like I was pretending he didn’t exist, like some people do. And yeah, a quarter may not mean much to you or me, but it would mean a lot to someone really down on his luck. Or at least, it should have.
(1) Yes he did, twice.
(2) No, but I probably should have.
Read my above response to Frank, it wasn’t like that at all. A genuinely needy person would have thanked me, as have occasional tramps in the past who I’ve given money to, even though I don’t make a habit of it.
Fact is, it doesn’t matter if I gave him a dime, a penny, or a Zimbabwean half-farthing. He should have been GRATEFUL that I gave him anything at all, especially if he was truly down on his luck, instead of some crack-addict stinking up Wilshire & wasting precious oxygen.
If it had happened, you’d be a real piece of shit. As it stands, you’re a real piece of shit for making it up, and also a dumbass for telling such a dumb story and thinking you were somehow the protagonist in it.
C’mon, you really believe that a homeless person should thank you for a quarter?
Do you really believe that 25 cents could make a difference to him?
Or how about this, if someone handed you a dime and said, “I think you need this more than I do.” How would you feel?
He used that oxygen to give you directions. You gave him a whole fucking quarter.
There was nothing random about giving him money (in fact, his giving you directions was senseless kindness), and you chose to return and give him money in thanks for giving you accurate directions, and you gave him a whole fucking quarter.
If he was any sort of beggar homeless person worthy of his shoe with the flapping sole and no laces and his reeking ladies coat with one sleeve missing, and he did previously ask you and possibly others for money, he had to have had some sort of cup, box or other receptable to receive any monies that might be proffered to him.
I’m sure his disdain for your, uhm, largesse was due mainly to (a) your feeling the need to throw the money at him; and (b) the fact it was only two bits.
I don’t know what you mean. Does somebody have to be a paragon of virtue in order for it to be a dick move to throw change at them and then go on the internet and say they’re wasting oxygen?
The homeless guys on my planet are pretty all right, though, since you asked. One sings the Righteous Brothers a lot. Some other ones publish a newspaper.
This bum was given the opportunity to make some serious cash. If he’d slipped the quarter
in a meter just before the meter maid issued a ticket, he could have demanded the fine amount
from the car’s owner. Rinse, repeat and soon he’s lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills!
My, my, he should have been grateful you deigned to speak to him at all! Why you even breathed the same air as him. What an honor!
Especially since his crack-addicted ass was probably stinking the whole area up.
I once gave a fiver to a hungry dude on the bus who was gazing with lust at my groceries. He informed me I was “a good white man–not like your brothers, they’re devils.” It was totally worth it.
That has nothing to do with what you said. You said “this didn’t happen,” and directly accused the OP of making up the whole story. Whether the OP was a dick or not is irrelevant to my query. So allow me to clarify: what leads you to believe that fuzzypickles’s story is a lie?
