I will try to keep this short. My dad is in his early 60s and most likely has Borderline personality disorder with a huge fear/hatred for government, bureaucracy, and “the Man” as well as anyone else who tries to control him or tell him what to do and combined with the intense anger and the belief that he is physically invulnerable. (Oh, the stories I could tell!) But recently a couple of my siblings and I have noticed a new “symptom” in that he will just go out in the backyard (his own), around the corner of a building, behind a car in a parking lot, etc. to urinate. He is the cheapest human being and initially we thought it was to save on the cost of water for flushing the toilet (he never does anyway), but it is becoming far more frequent and we are becoming a bit concerned about it.
So is outdoor urination (it isn’t technically public as he does seem to conceal himself a bit) a sign for a new problem or degenerating mental health?
Have you asked him why he does this? If so, how rational is his answer? That’s a pretty interesting behavior and I too am quite curious how he excuses it. Peeing in the woods is one thing. Doing it all over an urban setting is something different altogether.
Devil’s advocate: if it is a sign of deteriorating mental health… what would/could you do about it? (One of the lovely hallmarks of personality disorders is that they make the person in question feel like they themselves are fine - perfect, in fact - and everyone around them is the problem.)
Any other changes? Loss of appetite, more/less sleeping, things like that?
If he’s working in the garage or yard, and then wandering out back to pee, instead of going in the house, then I would say no biggie. I think my husband has something to pee in outside. :smack: Don’t even get me started. Don’t want to take the shoes off, then I have to wash my hands . . . .plenty of bs excuses.
If he’s inside already, and goes all the way outside to pee, that might be an issue.
I had a brother that urinated inside and dumped it outside. All of that was to save flushing. He had a thing going with the water board to show he used no water. It saved no money because he was always billed the minimum which included hundreds of cubic feet of water anyway. But yes, he was in fact mentally ill.
If it is, than the majority of men are crazy. I would walk past the bathroom to go out to the back deck to piss. I figure: He has pissed outside his whole life, coupled with reaching an age of not caring as much about appearances and a bit of old man prostate stuff.
Well, it’s one thing if he only doing it on his property. To me, that is a “whatever”. If he’s doing it in parking lots and behind buildings that are not on his property, I think that’s a crime - public urination.
He claims he “already pays enough taxes” when asked.
His hearing may be deteriorating as well. I believe that he is just being selective in what he wants to hear. My dad is in incredible physical shape and will live to 100 if he doesn’t get himself killed in a traffic accident. But my mom just had her hip replaced and that didn’t fix the whole problem but she is refusing to ever have any more surgery and is seemingly “giving up” trying to be active, so I am curious if this is partly his trying to cope with his partner literally stopping trying to be more active.
I’m not a cranky old man, so maybe there’s something I’m missing, but how on earth is he making a connection between pissing and paying taxes? Like, “My taxes paid for this parking lot, so I’m gonna mark it as my territory!” kind of thinking?
Sounds like he’s cranky about something in his life that he can’t control, so he’s doing something that makes him feel more in control. IANAPsychiatrist.
p.s. I smoke for similar reasons; it’s possible he’ll find something else he can go ‘THERE! I can do it if I want to!’ with and give up on the urinating.
Peeing indoors (not in a toilet, empty soda bottle, or other appropriate receptacle)… is another story. It’s a serious problem here in apartment buildings (including my own unfortunately).
I am confused and intrigued by your post. Can you elaborate? Does this mean dudes are peeing in hallways, or that they’re collecting urine in bottles inside their apartments or something? As an apartment dweller of 20 years, I haven’t encountered this so am very curious.
Are you sure he’s in perfect physical shape, or is that what he’s telling you? Could be his ‘cure’ for borderline incontinence, simply going whenever he has to because he can’t wait to get to a bathroom.
Well, I’m not rhubarbarin, but I’ve been in a condo building in a middle-class part of Chicago where the garbage room had a sign on the door warning residents not to urinate in the garbage room. I imagine some men believe that they’re doing nothing wrong by urinating into (or near :eek:) the nearest floor drain as it all goes to the sewers anyhow. :rolleyes:
I can see pissing outside as an alternative to having to clean up the overspray in the bathroom. Not sure about the taxes though, perhaps he got pissed off one day looking at his waterbill. Based on your description of him hating authority and all refusing to use water to avoid giving the city a dime would be in line with that idea. Has he cut back on doing dishes or showering? If he has maybe he’s just got a bug up his ass about the water utility, if it’s just the pissing thing and he uses water normally elsewhere it could be something else.
They routinely pee in lobbies, hallways, and indoor trash receptacles. More of a problem when there is carpeting.
A lot of them are drunk, some of them are really crazy, some of them are just assholes who like to pee inside people’s apartment buildings.
In the 6 1/2 years I’ve been in this building I’ve caught three of them in person (which I guess technically could get them in trouble for indecent exposure), and smelled/dealt with the urine of more. I always yell at them/call the cops, but I’m too small to do anything else, they run away fast and the cops never catch them. One man came out of the show at the theater a few shops down just to come into our entry area and walk carefully around all 4 walls, peeing all over the baseboards. Nice even coating. Real attention to detail. I followed him down the street making a scene but he just ran back into the theater and blended in with the crowd…
Ok, so I come from a culture where pissing outside for men is pretty standard. All the times I’ve traveled in India I see men peeing whereever. They just step off the bus, and to one side, or whip it out whenever they need to.
So I was going to come in here and say, maybe it’s a cultural thing, until I saw it was a new thing, in which case I was going to say you should have him checked out.
But here, in the States? All you men would walk past your own bathroom to go outside and pee off the back deck? That is…disgusting. And I am glad my SO never does it.
I remember living downtown and being awoken around 3 am by a cop yelling at some asshole who decided to piss up against the side of our building; saying people lived here and paid rent. And I was happy. Good for him. I’m glad he did. Peeing randomly is…primitive.
Peeing in the backyard like a doggie! Good heavens. :eek:
