Let’s cast the Straight Dope movie! Let me start with:
Cecil Adams-Frank Langella
Ed Zotti-William Hurt
Lobohan will be Jack Black on a skateboard. I don’t skate, but I think that’s just the punch-up the character needs.
I was thinking Andy Dick on an over-sized trike, but o.k. 
XT will be played by a combination of Lou Diamond Phillips and Jackie Chan…
-XT
Cecil: Rob Reiner, in cut-off shorts, sleeveless sweatshirt and carpet slippers.
Ed: Matthew Broderick, with very big glasses, buttondown shirt and gimmicky tie.
BoD: John Cusack, in A-2 jacket and grey fedora.
Another idea based on this thread: Have several people play Cecil, along the lines of the Bob Dylan bio-pic I’m Not There. One of them should be Cate Blanchett. None of them should be Richard Gere.
The role of DMark will be played by Ryan Gosling in a jock strap.
CalMeacham will, of course, be played by Rex Reason
Yes, he’s still alive, although he’s 83. That will add to the verisimilitude.
**WordMan **will be played by **Dan Aykroyd **- probably the Trading Places/Ghostbusters era Dan. I get the comparison from an appearance standpoint anyway…and his eccentric geek/goofiness.
The role of Caesario (a small cameo, but absolutely essential for plot development) would be ably played by Sir Ben Kingsley…
If Sir Ben is not available, I suggest either Janet Reno or the Homeless Guy With The Golden Radio Voice.
Actually, if you go to Rex’s website, you can see that he still looks and sounds better than I ever will, dammit:
That’s okay, they always glamorize things for the camera.
Diogenes the Cynic will be played by John Goodman.
Autolycus will be played by Pauly Shore.
I will be played by Kevin Sorbo.
Clothahump should be played by the bad-guy from Avatar.
Diogenes should be played by Geoffery Rush, portrayed as in Quills. 
Cecil will be a voice on the telephone and never seen
Ed will be played by Hugh Laurie (or Bender, if it’s animated)
Toni Colette will play twicks because Judy Dench and Maggie Smith are both unavailable and a tad too old
Karen Allen shall be Ellen Cherry
…and Eve will make a cameo as herself
**Fred Astair ** will be cast as Slithy Tove.
Because Fred Astair has been dead for twenty three years, the digital template of Fred Astair from the 1996 Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner commercial will be used.
Due to a miscommunication, Slithy Tove will be portrayed by a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner.
I was going to suggest Hugh Laurie, but it looks like Ed has dibs on him now.
I honestly have no idea who would play me.
But older, wiser (and bit fatter)…plus less scary. 
-XT
'luci would be played by Ellsworth M. Toohey…
-XT