My wife worked as a social worker for CPS for 5 years, and is currently working on her MSW. She strongly suspects her older cousin may be molesting his adopted daughter.
When my wife was young, her family was very poor. Her and 3 sisters all shared a bedroom. To help with money, another room was rented out to cousin and his wife. The girls’ room was locked at night for protection, because their parents both left for work very early. Apparently during the night when they were alone, cousin jimmied the lock open and would stare at them; some mornings they would wake to some blankets pulled off the bed. One night my SiL awoke to cousin touching her hair, and screamed. My wife told her dad about cousins creepy behavior and he was promptly evicted with extreme prejudice.
Cousin and his wife currently live with grandma. Grandma tells my wifes mom that cousin frequently spends hours locked in his bedroom alone with adopted daughter. He refuses to say whats going on in there- completely stonewalls any inquiries. His daughter is very meek and shut in, she barely talks to any one.
My wife fears he is molesting his daughter, but has no proof, only hearsay. Shes not currently working for CPS and isnt a mandated reporter, but has a strong gut feeling something isnt right. She isnt close with that part of her family, but just the same, they know what field of work shes in, if CPS showed up they’d know who called.
I want,to be suppotive to my wife about this. I told her to do what she thinks is right and trust her gut- better to bear through family backlash/drama if shes wrong than risk letting him continue to potentially be molesting his daughter. Am I crazy?
This should have been reported yesterday. It’s obvious what he’s doing. I had doubts right up until “frequently spends hours locked in his bedroom alone with adopted daughter. He refuses to say whats going on in there- completely stonewalls any inquiries. His daughter is very meek and shut in, she barely talks to any one.”
Unless your wife has reason to doubt grandma’s veracity, she should report her cousin without delay. Because if she’s a reliable witness, there’s no good explanation for your cousin’s spending “hours locked in his bedroom alone with adopted daughter.” Report that fucker yesterday, if not sooner.
Pick up the phone this instant. If the person describing the behavior is not exaggerating, hours locked in a bedroom and a refusal to discuss what’s happening in that bedroom are EXTREMELY suspicious.
Me too. I’m trying really hard not to cry, throw up, and hyperventilate here at work. Please, Incubus, once this has been reported, can you let us know, so I can sleep tonight?
I can’t even believe you had to ask us to know what to do here. Don’t wait to make your wife call, pick up the phone yourself this instant and report this monster.
lol at this bollox - step away from the pitchforks son, clear heads required.
Family aggro is meaningless in the face of an abused child, but the important thing is to get the right result. Be aware, and it sounds like you are, that Grandmaw told ma told my wife told me about someone who may be acting inappropriately with a minor is a long way from call 911, we’ve got this paedo bang-to-rights.
Your wife (really grandma I would have said) should report it - It is natural, in fact necessary to think something like this over though. It’s based on hearsay relayed via two different people, so a clear resolution may not be forthcoming. You have to go with your gut though and if you feel the child is in danger notify the authorities.
Agreed, report without delay. We haven’t heard back from you, have you picked up the phone? It is your responsibility to speak up and protect someone who can’t protect themselves. Don’t go soft on this issue. If you are wrong, so be it. CPS will look around and give the okay. If you are right you are saving a life. He might not kill her, but after what he will put her through there isn’t much difference.
What are you waiting for? If you don’t want to do it, give me the information. I’ll do it for you.
I’m sure she’s been threatened as well as molested. Where is her mother? Your wife needs to try to convince Grandma to call; if Grandma won’t call your wife needs to.
Before anyone jumps on me for not telling the OP to “OMG CALL RIGHT NOW” - CPS needs a little more than “someone told someone who told me”. CPS gets calls from ex-husbands, ex-wives, ex-inlaws - people with an axe to grind. We all know the knowledge of having CPS called on a person gets around a lot faster than the knowledge that CPS found no grounds for the call. To have this resolved and the child protected as quickly as possible, the source with the first hand information needs to make the call.
If Grandma absolutely will not call, in addition to calling CPS your wife might want to call the counselors at the child’s school.