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  #1  
Old 12-01-2012, 08:15 PM
DMark DMark is offline
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How Many Dopers Would It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Just wondering.
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  #2  
Old 12-01-2012, 08:56 PM
John Mace John Mace is online now
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What kind of light bulb?
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  #3  
Old 12-01-2012, 08:59 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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What exactly do you mean by change?
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  #4  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:12 PM
Hermitian Hermitian is offline
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Where are you? It depends on your local and state's laws.
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  #5  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:12 PM
AncientHumanoid AncientHumanoid is offline
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Do you have a cite for whether or not it actually needs to be changed?
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  #6  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:14 PM
John Mace John Mace is online now
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Is Obama president or Bush?
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  #7  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:15 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is online now
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Shouldn't this be in GQ? There is a factual answer, after all.
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  #8  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:16 PM
Digital is the new Analog Digital is the new Analog is offline
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This reminds me of one of my favorite Cyanide & Happiness strips.

-D/a
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  #9  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:16 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Youk now the rules. You can't post about your light bulbs without pictures.
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  #10  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:26 PM
chacoguy chacoguy is offline
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One, but she's quadriplegic.
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  #11  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:41 PM
Ichbin Dubist Ichbin Dubist is offline
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Does the lightbulb screw left?
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  #12  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:42 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ethilrist View Post
Shouldn't this be in GQ? There is a factual answer, after all.
Yes, it should be in GQ but you didn't need a comma after 'answer'. Somebody else may have already corrected you on that but I couldn't read any more after that egregious error.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 12-01-2012 at 09:42 PM..
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  #13  
Old 12-01-2012, 09:55 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.
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  #14  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:12 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice The Goon View Post
Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.
Dump him or her, not them.

Anyway, we need to know if this is a typical incandescent bulb, or halogen, fluorescent, or perhaps LED? There's no possible way to make a determination until we know the facts. And as mentioned upthread, we need to know your local regulations.

Last edited by Leaffan; 12-01-2012 at 10:12 PM..
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  #15  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:16 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice The Goon View Post
Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.
I agree with you. I can't see why anyone would need a 'partner' or a spouse. It is a horrible institution only rivaled by slavery. If it has come to the point where both of you can't even take care of basic needs like changing a light bulb, I would just call it quits now and move across the country to somewhere you are safe.

If you can't afford a lightbulb, maybe we could start a Secret Santa program and get you a surprise in a few weeks,

Last edited by Shagnasty; 12-01-2012 at 10:16 PM..
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  #16  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:19 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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The number is surely determined by market demand. No more, no less. Unless of course artificial forces intervene.
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  #17  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:33 PM
Lacunae Matata Lacunae Matata is offline
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Is the light bulb for you, or for your bunny rabbits?
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  #18  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:38 PM
DSeid DSeid is offline
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146 posts.

Cite.
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  #19  
Old 12-01-2012, 10:47 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is online now
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Oh--where are you? According to your location, you could be in any one of several places. It'll take five times as many if we have to cover all the bases. Plus, do they use the same type of bulbs in Berlin? I heard once that they've got a real weird kind of bulb that has individual posts rather than screwing in.
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  #20  
Old 12-01-2012, 11:04 PM
Altivu Altivu is offline
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How Many Dopers DOES It Take To Change a Light Bulb?

Are you TRYING to get on our nerves?
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  #21  
Old 12-01-2012, 11:09 PM
MPB in Salt Lake MPB in Salt Lake is offline
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It would take at least three, and that's just for the celebratory meal after the job is completed.

One to prepare a sumptuous feast of exotic tapas, cooked exactly the way they were prepared on their recent trip to Seville, a trip that was mentioned in at least 18 different SDMB threads, including before, during, and after the trip itself. (including popular favorites like "I am going to Spain next month, can anyone recommend a good corkscrew to bring with me?", "I am now in Spain, how much should I tip the matador?", "I had an amazing meal while on my recent trip to Spain, can anyone tell me what the little black and green spherical fruits with the pits, often soaked in a salty brine solution are called?")

One to complain that they have severe dietary restrictions, and can't eat any meat (except for medium rare prime rib, but only if it's organic, grass-fed beef, raised by Mennonite farmers who actively support Same Sex Marriage) or seafood (except for grilled swordfish, which also happens to be musical genius Kate Bush's favorite meal) or vegetables, unless they have been grown in the Tuscan countryside.

One to grandly proclaim that a meal of HIV-infected human feces would be more appetizing, more nutritious and more authentically Italian than anything available at the Olive Garden.
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  #22  
Old 12-01-2012, 11:14 PM
ioioio ioioio is offline
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What are we trying to change it into? Shards of glass: 1 Doper. Gold: 42 Dopers, but it will take a while.
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  #23  
Old 12-01-2012, 11:17 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPB in Salt Lake View Post
It would take at least three, ....
Thank you good sir. I have not laughed this hard in a long time. In fact there are tears streaming down my cheeks.
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  #24  
Old 12-01-2012, 11:34 PM
johnpost johnpost is offline
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if it's the Centennial bulb it doesn't need to be changed, it's still burning.
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  #25  
Old 12-02-2012, 01:52 AM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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I was changing lights before I went to kindergarten, and no one taught me how to.
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  #26  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:05 AM
don't ask don't ask is offline
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I assume the OP means change it for a compact fluorescent and inadvertently forgot the customary link.

Last edited by don't ask; 12-02-2012 at 02:06 AM..
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  #27  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:11 AM
Tapioca Dextrin Tapioca Dextrin is online now
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Thomas Edison was a fraud who never invented anything
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  #28  
Old 12-02-2012, 05:41 AM
6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast is offline
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It's a trick question. Dopers are not concerned with how many of them it will take to change a light bulb, but rather how many light bulbs it will take to change them.
__________________
Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, & Derision
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  #29  
Old 12-02-2012, 06:01 AM
chappachula chappachula is online now
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Sorry, we cannot answer the question----we don't do homework problems.

Also, IANALBC
(I am not a light bulb changer)
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  #30  
Old 12-02-2012, 07:07 AM
Mona Lisa Simpson Mona Lisa Simpson is offline
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IANAE, (I am not an electrician) I am not YOUR electrition, check local codes, YMMV....

But seriously...what is wrong with you that you feel the need to change this lightbulb? You had better examine yourself first!

And when come back please bring tungsten fillament*

ducks and runs as all the people supporting the other types of lights lash out at me.

Last edited by Mona Lisa Simpson; 12-02-2012 at 07:10 AM..
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  #31  
Old 12-02-2012, 07:27 AM
casdave casdave is offline
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1) Obtain light bulb
2) WTF
3)Hi Opal!
4) Profit
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  #32  
Old 12-02-2012, 07:45 AM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
Dump him or her, not them.
According to Steven Pinker "them" is acceptable.

Steven doesn't change light bulbs, though.
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  #33  
Old 12-02-2012, 12:22 PM
Ulf the Unwashed Ulf the Unwashed is offline
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Originally Posted by TokyoBayer View Post
According to Steven Pinker "them" is acceptable.

Steven doesn't change light bulbs, though.
They don't?
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  #34  
Old 12-02-2012, 12:32 PM
GrandWino GrandWino is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by casdave View Post
1) Obtain light bulb
2) WTF
3)Hi Opal!
4) Profit
Ugh
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  #35  
Old 12-02-2012, 12:43 PM
FUTBOL! FUTBOL! is offline
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DMark, I see from the way you phrased the question that you are very "old school" on the subject.

Have you even considered whether it really wants to change?
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  #36  
Old 12-02-2012, 01:00 PM
Waxwinged Waxwinged is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trans Fat Og View Post



Have you even considered whether it really wants to change?
One-upping that, the Dopers don't want to change it in the first place. And you can't make us.
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  #37  
Old 12-02-2012, 01:02 PM
pancakes3 pancakes3 is offline
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need answer fast?
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  #38  
Old 12-02-2012, 01:10 PM
drpepper drpepper is offline
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You're falling into the common fallacy of equating the question to a simple matter of "lightbulb in - lightbulb out". You make it sound as if willpower alone will produce the lighting result you want.

In reality it is much more complicated and difficult to quantify exactly how one minor change in fixture-fulfillment will affect the long-term lighting conditions of a room. It depends on many factors, many of which are out of control of the individual. For example, genetics, glandular conditions, and cultural factors hard-wired in since childhood all serve to make it extraordinarily difficult for a given person to simply "lose the old lightbulb" and make it stick long-term.

Obviously you have deep-seated hatred toward lightbulbs.
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  #39  
Old 12-02-2012, 01:35 PM
RaftPeople RaftPeople is offline
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That's a very misogynistic op.
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  #40  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:05 PM
Fallsguy Fallsguy is offline
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It would depend on how good the dope was.

Last edited by Fallsguy; 12-02-2012 at 02:06 PM..
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  #41  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:09 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is online now
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Is there an adorable kitten in the house?
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  #42  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:32 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dendarii Dame View Post
Is there an adorable kitten in the house?
Here you go.
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  #43  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:43 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ichbin Dubist View Post
Does the lightbulb screw left?
Only in the southern hemisphere, because of the Coriolis effect.
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  #44  
Old 12-02-2012, 02:55 PM
-getitrite -getitrite is offline
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Without a doubt the most important fact not given was location, Is the said lightbulb in the ceiling, in a table lamp, under the sink, over the bathtub, outside, inside, covered or exposed, wait did you forget to turn it on. are you sure you want it changed.
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  #45  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:37 PM
LouisB LouisB is offline
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Will penis ensue?
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  #46  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:37 PM
Spice Weasel Spice Weasel is online now
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Jesus Christ, someone Pit this lightbulb already.
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  #47  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:41 PM
Bam Boo Gut Bam Boo Gut is offline
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Originally Posted by LouisB View Post
Will penis ensue?
Will there be pie?
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  #48  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:42 PM
johnpost johnpost is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ichbin Dubist View Post
Does the lightbulb screw left?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
Only in the southern hemisphere, because of the Coriolis effect.
or the subway.
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  #49  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:43 PM
Girl From Mars Girl From Mars is offline
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They tried this back in 1960 - Just 1, and it took 20 minutes.
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  #50  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:43 PM
Dallas Jones Dallas Jones is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th View Post
Jesus Christ, someone Pit this lightbulb already.
I agree. It is obvious that this is some sort of homophobic attempt to change the natural orientaion of the light bulb.
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