How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

16 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

6 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

50 to flame the spell checkers

48 to correct spelling/grammar flames

7 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct

154 to email the participant’s ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their “acceptable use policy”

118 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

1 to ask if when buying a new bulb they should go for a screw or bayonet type

98 to argue that their version of screw in or bayonet is better than the other and always will

27 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s

3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the “Me too’s” to say “Me three”

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a “FAQ”

4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”

143 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

Of course they seem to forget the 68 posters who manage to find a comparison between the OP and Nazism.

2

1 to add up all the people changing lightbulbs and to post that the number of people changing lightbulbs, according to Muad’Dib, is 1541 (including the 68 who found a comparison between the OP and Nazism). Er, make that 1542.

3

And the guy who inevitably says “cite?”

4

You forgot a few, Muad’Dib:

1 to troll and say “we don’t need a new lightbulb, they’re gay/lame/fat/retarded/black”

457 to flame based on above.

1 to delete entire thread and make an announcement that the light bulb has been changed.

:smiley:

5

1 to start a Pit thread about the light bulb changer.

20 to drive by and say things like “When come back, bring bulb”, and “Light bulbs make the baby Jesus cry”

1 to ask about 1920’s style Death Bulbs

5 to call the light bulb changer racist

1 to post a reply filled with leetspeak and smileys, telling everybody in the thread they suck

1 moderator to make the previous poster a member of the Banned.

6

One more A. R. poster to note that Moderators don’t ban people, Administrators do.

7

“Sweet zombie Jesus” Thats a terrific post bro, great job! :slight_smile:

8

1 to say “just going slightly off-topic here but the light bulb in the Fire Department in Livermore, California has been on continuously since 1901 and why can’t all bulbs be made as reliable as this? If nothing else it would reduce the need for light bulb changing and its related humor.”

9

Off topic… How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None! That’s a hardware problem!

10

Ack!

1 Monstre to slip up and misspeak.

1 Moderator to pistol whip the aforementioned offending troll.

1 Administrator to ban him/her/it.

1 NoClueBoy to hijack the thread into seriously bizarre territory. :smiley:

11

First off, I recognize genius when I see it. I get your name, man, I GET it, and no one else does. So there! Ha…

Secondly, lightbulbs make a crunchy treat. Fill up a big bowl with somma them lightbulbs ‘round All Hallow’s Eve and the kids will just swarm your house! No bag o’ poo on the porch, oh no. No tricks. Just 'appy kids crunching away on those tasty treats, I assure ya.

Now, you may get one-a them kids that’s a real prankster and will try to do an “Uncle Fester” deal with that there bulb in his goofy lil’ mouth. Just you smack ‘im good an proper an he’ll be spittin’ glass for days on end, bleedin’ out his lips real nicely.

Okokokokokokokokokok, I know! I’m WEIRD, and I happen to be joking, so ha! HA! HA HA HA!
(Disclaimer: No lightbulbs or children were harmed during the making of this post.)

12

Five to post “Band name!”

43 to complain that light bulbs get screwed, but nice guys don’t.

Two to blame the old bulb’s failure on George Bush.

Two to blame the old bulb’s failure on the “liberal media.”

Six to ask "What are the three other words that end with “ulb?”

53 to tell their stories about how light bulbs are so much brighter outside of the United States.

20 to ask “Why was the old bulb banned?”

Wang-Ka to post a 20,000 word story about the light bulb he screwed in back in 1978, at a place he rented along with his friends Bob, Bobo, Troll, Candy, Loopy, Weeble, Rocket Boy, Izzy, Peanut, Horse, Viking, Bud Man, Stinky, Pinky, Numbnuts, Frenchy, and The General.

13

8 to hijack slightly to add their favorite lightbulb jokes.

if6was9 was one.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two. But don’t ask me how they get in there.

That was two.

Who’s three?

14

2.5 to remind us to think of the children.

15

1 Mod to warn a poster that there langage was inapropriate.

16

Great, now I’m horny for a Wang-Ka story…

17

“You see, it all started back one muggy Texas summer night in 1978. I was playing an Avalon Hill game with Bob, Bobo, Troll, Candy, Loopy, Weeble, Rocket Boy, Izzy, Peanut, Horse, Viking, Bud Man, Stinky, Pinky, Numbnuts, Frenchy, and The General, when the dining room light went out …”

18

Too funny.

1 to quote someone and just say “too funny” as if other people can’t see the humor in it.

19

After having a discussion recently with someone who was implying that the weather in California was as bad as that in Ireland, I have to add: 1 to deny the existence of both the bulb and the socket.

20

Only one, if he’s prepared.