1 to say they mis-read the thread title, due to lack of sleep.
1 to express wry dismay that people are sufficiently predictable that the OP is devastatingly accurate for any Web forum he’s ever seen. 
Rod
3 to demand compensation (or at least a paper towel) for the soft drink they spit-sprayed on their monitor, keyboard, and/or cubicle mate.
1 zen buddhist to say that the bulb is merely an extension of ourselves, therefore changing the lightbulb is a metaphor for changing our whole lives, man…
11 to tell everyone else that nobody is forcing them to open the thread, and if they don’t like threads about lightbulbs they should just not click on the title.
Regards,
Shodan
6 to flame the OP for hating fat people, because of his feelings that the bulb-shaped must change to suit his own preferences.
1 to make a poop/fart joke.
And 13 more to complain that the title was vague and unclear, followed by a sticky from the mods telling us to please make our titles more descriptive.
Two (probably a doper-dating couple) to suggest a DopeFest at the spot of the lightbulb change.
Q: What’s the difference between a fat sorority girl and a lightbulb?
A: The lightbulb goes out more often 
No, it’s actually, “You can unscrew a lightbulb.”
1 newbie post with the following:
-Disclaimer which adresses dis-lek-sia, inadequacy, general lack of knowledge, vows to obey the rules and fight ignorance.
-Small overview of newbie’s lurking history.
-A big “Hi i’m alive, I need a hug” to everyone.
-The hope to be able to contribute something to these [insert high-praise statement] boards.
And a small piece of the post at the bottom which actually adresses the OP, but contributes nothing to the actual switching of the light-bulb.
And me, to kill the thread.
One to ask if the new bulb is uncircumcised.
Five to say that they don’t need a new bulb, since they bask in the light of the Lord. “Jesus is my light bulb!”
Eight to argue about the merits of the light bulb’s operating system. “If the old bulb was running Linux, it wouldn’t have gone out.”
26 from NYC, to claim that their light bulbs are the best and brightest in the world, and that no other light bulb is better.
One to create a sappy, frilly, MIDI-filled Web site as a memorial to the old light bulb, and all the other light bulbs that have gone out in the duty of serving the SDMB.
Five to say that they don’t need a new bulb, since they bask in the light of the Lord. “Jesus is my light bulb!”
Eight to argue about the merits of the light bulb’s operating system. “If the old bulb was running Linux, it wouldn’t have gone out.”
26 from NYC, to claim that their light bulbs are the best and brightest in the world, and that no other light bulb is better.
One to create a sappy, frilly, MIDI-filled Web site as a memorial to the old light bulb, and all the other light bulbs that have gone out in the duty of serving the SDMB.’
Four to claim that the old lightbulb is going to Hell, while 20 others counter that it will just be smashed in a landfill, where its remains will stay forever. “One it’s out, it’s out.”
Five to complain that black light bulbs aren’t being used enough.
There is no bulb.
‘and so you see, it is not the bulb that lights up, it is merely ourselves’
1 to say that she’s recently seen this on at least one other forum / message board, but the other forum / messageboard thread didn’t get so many replies.
F_X
Begin hijack:
I thought this was going to be along these lines when I read the title:
ATMB: One Admin to sigh and patiently explain how light bulbs work to another newbie who didn’t read all the stickies.
CCC: 1 to change it, 23 to argue about how much better Cecil used to change lightbulbs, 14 to say they like Cecil’s new laid-back style, and 2 to ask how this relates to the “damn fool war.”
CSR: 1. Q.E.D. will change it, write a 2000 word paper on the history of lightbulbs.
GQ: 1 person to ask how to change the light bulb, 14 to give the exact same answer, 3 posts pointing out the simulpost, and one person with this joke: “How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only one, but he goes through about 14 lightbulbs before he realizes they just don’t just push in.” who will then receive a warning from a mod about posting crappy jokes in the wrong forum.
And so on…
End hijack.
One poster to moan about how nobody cares about whether or not the socket wants a new bulb in the first place.