It’s time for a new light bulb thread. Here are some of my favourites:
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The lightbulb contains the seed of its own revolution.
Q: How many creationists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it quickly, and one to point out that no transitional forms occurred at all.
Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - it’s easy to see that this a pseudo-problem. Light bulbs give off light - hence the name. Now, if the bulb was broken and wasn’t giving off light, it could not be a “light bulb”, could it? Oh, where has rigor gone?
Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
I don’t know if this qualifies, but here goes. My kids are convinced I eat light bulbs. They were walking by my bedroom door one night and heard me tell my wife, “Honey, turn out that light bulb, I wanna eat that thing.”
I had always heard this version:
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many drunks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to drink until the room starts to spin.
Q: How many Amish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the bulb and the other to tell him it’s against the will of God.
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. Two VEEERRRRRYYYY TINY people!
Disclaimer:
OK. The next one is a JOKE, and a damn funny one IMO,
which is not meant to be incendiary and does not reflect the
attitudes of the poster, who is FEMALE for God’s sake!
Here goes:
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two.
one to change the bulb, and one to SUCK MY DICK.
