There are as many different light bulb jokes as there are light bulb types*, and we’ve all heard some, a few way too often.
But I’m interested in hearing the l.b. jokes for your job, and also whether you think anyone from outside your field would laugh at them (fine, there are some that no one would laugh at, but would an outsider see where the humour is supposed to come from).
I’ll start.
How many translators does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on the context.
No data available to support this statement.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - that’s a hardware problem.
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two – one to change the bulb and one to check it was done within budget
I’m really an accountant course developer. I don’t know of any light bulb jokes that apply to my profession, so I’ll make one up.
Q: How many accounting course developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but they have to replace the entire electrical system first.
How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - we’ll add that to the release notes as a known issue.
How many contractors does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it’s not in the Statement of Work.
I was a musician, so this comes close:
How many choreographers does it take to change a light bulb?
…5…6…7…8.
Probably not only applicable to photographers, but the version I heard:
How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb?
One hundred. One to change it and ninety-nine to say how they could do it better.
How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Get the intern to do it.
I just made that up. It would probably apply to other professions also.
How many FileMaker developers does it take to change a light bulb?
Well if the previous developer had been on the ball, the light bulb circuit would have been written in such a way that it would change the bulb itself if it failed to light, would box up the old one and move it to the trash table, send an email to supplies if the supply of bulbs was below a critical level, and hey have you considered a structural redesign that would incorporate skylights for free natural lighting? I could have a proposal and estimate for you by Tuesday…
I haven’t heard one for lawyers, but I was a server for 10 years, and the answer to that is “that’s not my fucking sidework!”
How many copyeditors does it take to change a light bulb?
The previous question was about servers. Is that a deliberate change?
How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
With what degree of certainty do you need to know?
Q: How many Telemarkers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
we had our own internal list of them at a past job, poking fun at the home office overseas who was very, um, challenging to work with. stuff like:
Q: How many (people) does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many (people) does it take to change a light bulb?no response )
Q: How many (people) does it take to change a light bulb?
Teamsters don’t change light bulbs; stagehands do.
Q: How many union stagehands does it take to change a light bulb?
Baker
July 10, 2019, 2:42pm
16
Not my profession, but…
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Nava
July 10, 2019, 2:44pm
17
How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as we can get away with billing for.
Folly
July 10, 2019, 2:48pm
18
How many patent attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
Woah, woah…have you performed a freedom to operate analysis first?
ftg
July 10, 2019, 3:05pm
19
Here’s a whole list for computer stuff. My fave:
Q: How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?
I’m a consultant, soooo…
A. It would be cheaper for you if we do it by teleconference.
A. Is it within a 20-mile radius of our office? Minimum travel time is 3 hours.
A. That will require a Senior Consultant.
A. Minimum invoice for work is $500.