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#1
03-15-2013, 05:28 PM
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Wayne Lapierre invents new fortune cookie meme
WP's response to Sandy Hook: "
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" Now he's come out with this: "The one thing a violent rapist deserves is to face is a good woman with a gun!" Everything this guy says ends with "with a gun." This is worth replacing the aging gag of adding "in bed" to the end of every fortune cookie fortune A quickly Googled list yeilds: A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month. (with a gun) Advice is like kissing. It costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. (with a gun) For hate is never conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love. (with a gun) 
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#2
03-15-2013, 06:50 PM
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness (with a warm gun).
Last edited by Nunzio Tavulari; 03-15-2013 at 06:50 PM.
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#3
03-15-2013, 07:27 PM
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A soft voice may be awfully persuasive...WITH A GUN!
Now is a good time to finish up old tasks...WITH A GUN! Every wise man started out by asking many questions...WITH A GUN! Failure is the chance to do better next time...WITH A GUN! Say hello to others...WITH A GUN! You will have a happier day.
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#7
03-15-2013, 08:23 PM
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Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do... with a gun.
It is better to deal with problems before they arise... with a gun. Now is the time to go ahead and pursue that love interest with a gun! People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner... with a gun. You desire recognition and you will find it... with a gun. Your life will get more and more exciting... with a gun. Last edited by standingwave; 03-15-2013 at 08:23 PM.
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#8
03-15-2013, 08:28 PM
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Maybe this could be moved to The Game Room... with a gun.
Brandy is dandy, but liquor is quicker... with a gun. Blondes have more fun... with a gun. 'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all... with a gun. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today... with a gun. There's more then one way to kill a cat... with a gun. There's a sucker born every minute... with a gun. Behind every great man there's a woman... with a gun. Live free or die... with a gun. All good things must come to a past... with a gun. Last edited by Aquadementia; 03-15-2013 at 08:30 PM.
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#10
03-16-2013, 12:07 AM
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The worst fortune I ever got in a cookie somehow becomes even worse:
You will soon fall and never get back up... with a gun.
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#12
03-16-2013, 01:04 AM
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Four score and seven years ago (with a gun)
Our fathers brought forth on this continent (with a gun) A new nation conceived in liberty (with a gun) And dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal (with a gun)
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#14
03-16-2013, 07:10 AM
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Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you with a gun
Now I lay me down to sleep with a gun 90s song titles: I'll Make Love to You with a gun Stay (I Missed You with a gun) Sunny Came Home with a gun I Wish My Baby was Born with a gun Come to My Window with a gun Somehow I don't think LaPierre would object to any of these.
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#15
03-16-2013, 07:38 AM
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Fighting ignorance since 1973... with a gun.
Last edited by Bumbershoot; 03-16-2013 at 07:40 AM.
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#17
03-16-2013, 10:02 AM
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I dunno, I don't see it working for everything.
"You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun, than you can with just a kind word... with a gun".  "You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun, than you can with just a kind word... in bed." still works.
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#19
03-16-2013, 10:30 AM
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Back away from individuals who are impulsive...with a gun.
That's actually really good advice.
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#20
03-16-2013, 02:45 PM
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The pen is mightier than the sword with a gun.
I don't know about that, a sword with a gun sounds pretty bad ass.
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#21
03-16-2013, 04:17 PM
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God helps those who help themselves with a gun.
The best things in life are free with a gun. The bigger they come, the harder they fall with a gun. Where there's a will, there's a way with a gun. If at first you don't succeed, try again with a gun.
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#22
03-18-2013, 06:57 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
 Now the penis mightier than the sword with a gun... who knows? 
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#25
03-18-2013, 09:21 AM
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On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog... with a gun.
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#26
03-18-2013, 09:31 AM
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How about other Amendments:
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people with a gun. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people with a gun.
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#27
03-18-2013, 10:53 AM
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Jesus Christ Superstar with a gun.
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#29
03-18-2013, 11:03 AM
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Treat each day as practice for tomorrow... with a gun.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go where there is no path...and leave a trail... with a gun. Your lucky numbers are 6, 13, 20, 32... with a gun.
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#30
03-18-2013, 01:37 PM
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May you live in interesting times...with a gun.
Good news from afar may bring you a welcome visitor...with a gun. If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions...with a gun. You create your own stage...the audience is waiting...with a gun. People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual...with a gun. Original "fortunes" were shamelessly cribbed from: http://www.fortunecookiemessage.com/...e.php?start=50
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#31
03-18-2013, 02:17 PM
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When the going gets tough, the tough get going with a gun.
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#33
03-18-2013, 02:21 PM
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Fortune favors the bold with a gun.
The early bird catches the worm with a gun. Never look a gift horse in the mouth with a gun. God helps those who help themselves with a gun. Actions speak louder than words with a gun. All good things must come to an end with a gun. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em with a gun.
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#34
03-18-2013, 02:53 PM
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I pledge allegiance to the Flag (with a gun)
of the United States of America, (with a gun) and to the Republic for which it stands, (with a gun) one Nation under God, (with a gun) indivisible, (with a gun) with liberty and justice for all. ... with a gun
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#36
03-18-2013, 03:28 PM
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He who places watch in toilet have crappy time ... with a gun.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day ... with a gun. She's so fat, when she lies around the house, she really lies around the house with a gun. In Russia, TV watches you ... with a gun.
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#37
03-18-2013, 03:37 PM
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Actions speak louder than words... with a gun.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... with a gun.
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#38
03-18-2013, 03:47 PM
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"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you with a gun."
"Good things come to those who wait with a gun." "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself with a gun."
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#39
03-18-2013, 05:09 PM
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I'm going on an anger management course ... with a gun
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#40
03-18-2013, 07:12 PM
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When God closes a door, he opens a window with a gun.
God never gives you more than you can handle with a gun. Last edited by Blackberry; 03-18-2013 at 07:12 PM.
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#41
03-18-2013, 07:39 PM
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You can't handle the truth! ... with a gun.
Quote:
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#43
03-18-2013, 09:42 PM
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone... with a gun. (seek help before you get to this point.)
Finish eating your vegetables, they won't kill you... with a gun.
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#44
03-18-2013, 09:52 PM
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If given a penny for every kind act, you'd be a millionaire...with a gun.
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#45
03-19-2013, 01:01 AM
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Live long and prosper... with a gun.
I knew you were trouble when you walked in... with a gun. Love is never having to say you're sorry... with a gun. This is a pretty damn cool meme ^_^ Last edited by drewtwo99; 03-19-2013 at 01:02 AM.
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#47
03-19-2013, 10:14 AM
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Speak softly and carry a big stick...with a gun.
A far sight better than just a stick.
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#48
03-19-2013, 11:20 AM
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A friend in need is a friend indeed... with a gun.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks... with a gun. Last edited by Bumbershoot; 03-19-2013 at 11:23 AM.
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#49
03-19-2013, 02:49 PM
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One night in Bangkok...with a gun.
The Internet is for porn...with a gun. Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 03-19-2013 at 02:50 PM.
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