I won't say he/she is ______, but _________ (fill in the blanks)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

For example:
“I won’t say he’s ugly, but when he was born the doctor slapped his mother!”
“I won’t say she’s dumb, but she thinks Santa Monica is the guy who comes down the chimney on Christmas Eve!”
Post your own examples, to fill-in-the-blanks. :slight_smile: :smiley:

2

There once was a man of high station
who was found by a pious relation
making love in a ditch
to – I won’t say a btch*,
but a woman of no reputation.

or alternatively:

making love to a b*tch
in – I won’t say a ditch,
but terrain having no elevation.

3

I wouldn’t say your momma’s fat, but when she sits around the house she sits around the house (making hand motions to indicate around the outside of the house)

4

I wouldn’t say your momma’s fat, but I saw her at the beach and GREENPEACE was trying to roll her into the sea.

5

I wouldn’t say you have the Game Show Network, but boy have you been watching Match Game.

6

I wouldn’t say your momma’s ugly, but her teeth are so yellow when she smiles at a street corner Cars Yield

7

I can do this for days… we used to have contests. (Which is better than a shootout when you live in the ghetto)

I wouldn’t say your momma’s fat, but I saw her sit on a rainbow and make skittles

8

I would say it looks like the SDMB is being haunted by the spirit of Gene Rayburn but Biggirl beat me to it.

9

I won’t say he’s cheap, but he’d rather save a dollar than earn one.

10

Originally posted by Biggirl

In fact, I heard this kind of joke long before the racy version of Match Game. (I have a book of such lines by humorist Leopold Fechtner.)
Incidentally–Biggirl? In what way are you Big?
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha :smiley:

11

I wouldn’t say he’s cheap, but I saw him back into a brick wall and suck out a brick

12

I wouldn’t say she’s ugly, but they had to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

13

It’s how I’m livin’, baby!

P.S. I wouldn’t say she was stupid, but when someone called her a suicide blonde, she called her psychiatrist to make sure she was still alive.

14

I wouldn’t call her dumb, but I think I saw her using white out on the computer screen… (Yes I know it’s old and tired)

15

Now I’m not saying he’s gay. I’m just saying he’s going to need a lot of sex with a man to get him through these tough times.

crosses legs
sips martini

16

I’m not saying your mama is fat, but your dad burns his ass on the light fixture every time they get it on.

17

I wouldn’t say your mom is a slut, but she’ll fuck anything on two legs.