The girl in question has the opportunity to have a spectacular boy (me!) in her arms, she likes me (no point in saying boy again… you know it’s me now) so clearly as to having her cheeks turn red and being very happy when I’m around and whatnots, and then she turns to me and gives me the “blah blah blah lets be friends…”. She might have said something like “and we’ll see”, but not those oh so promising words, oh no, much less exciting… My mind pretty much didn’t pick up on them.
Now what pisses me off is the fact that she’s trying to protect herself from her own feelings. If you like me girl, and I’m pretty sure you do, why don’t you act like it? You seem to be terrified that I’ll kiss you and then say “April Fool! Hahahahaha it was all a joke, bye now…”. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn girl! I’m not that last abuser jerk you dated. Who, by the way, I know nothing about because, as you said, “it’s buried”. Well not that deep, clearly!
The silly of it is she might be falling in a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts… As she acts with this barrier between what she does and how she feels, I’m not sure I’ll be around when she finally decides it’s ok to be something above friends…
Women. Is it so hard to be yourselves? Do you have to hide behind that barricade because you’re afraid you might get hurt? 'Cause that barricade also shields you from being happy…
(can’t wait to hear women’s responses to that last bit. Or men’s. But I actually posted this here because in its original (Portuguese, computer college) message board there are virtually no girls).
Been here before. "Lets be friends" means "Lets be friends, but lets not ever have sex because you are not at all arousing or romantically interesting to me." Be clear on that...itll save you a lot of pain. She is not attracted to you. To her, you are an unattractive man. She likes you the same way she likes her female friends.
Sorry for the bluntness, but the sooner you soak that up the sooner you can start looking for a girl who wants to be with you.
Damn, y’all: Lighten up a bit? Or maybe you’ve never been there/done that.
Long years ago, I had this exact same thing going on with a girl. Once, in an uncharacteristic moment of honesty, she even told me how much she liked me. She spoke of all the nights she’d “cried and cried” over the problems in our relationship. The “relationship”, as she called it, never got to the point of being what I’d call a relationship because of her constant withdrawals.
Bottom line, we were very young and I wasn’t overflowing with patience. After about a month of this I wandered away. There were too many other fish in the sea; girls that didn’t have so many problems, girls that could go out and have a good time; girls that would sing the song without hitting so many sour notes.
She wrote three letters to me, asking if we couldn’t try it again, and in the same letter she’d talk about being scared of having a boyfriend, and talk of how she didn’t know if she would ever get over the fear.
I hope she got her head straightened out after a time. I didn’t stay in touch. I still don’t know how you go about saving someone from themselves.
Dude, she seems to not like you. Maybe she likes keeping you around because she knows you’ll fawn over her or lovingly stare at her, but deep down she doesn’t want anything to happen. Otherwise, something would happen.
But if you really think you have a chance, step back a bit. Don’t play too cool or hard to get, but ease up a little (including the women “why be so hard on yourself” psychobable attitude)
Be there, but let her be. Then you’ll know what’s she is feeling
Maybe you’re right and she’s not ready for you. Maybe you’re just not her type. Either way its time to move on. Trust me, playing savior gets old fast.
To the OP: I think I know you. And dude, please stop. I was trying to be polite and nice about it. I thought the “let’s be friends” line would be enough. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but apparently you cannot take a hint. So let me put it in terms that may be clearer to you: Go. Away. I’m not interested. I don’t want you in my arms. I don’t want you in my anything.