Since you’re bored, I’ve opened this just for you. This is a little silly thing my friends and I used to do back when we were still entertaining the idea of a forming a comedy troupe (then Dave sold out and Tim wouldn’t commit, wanting to follow his solo stand-up act). We would ask either other regular, everyday chit-chat type questions and have to come up with off-the-wall answers.
Example:
“How’s things going today Ron?”
“Great, the rash on my scrotum finally went away.”
or
“How’s the family?”
“Pretty good, the dog’s fur is beginning to grow back.”
Not too bad, Froggy. The third penis finally shrivelled up and dropped off. Load off MY mind, I’ll tell ya. On the other hand, the talking Silly Putty escaped from the closet. Distressing, but I’m getting over it.
I couldn’t catch the news, it was dribbling down his chin too quickly.
Besides, why catch “news” when Qiopsd tells me everything I need to know through my “Nympho Wife” book? You people just need to learn to read between the lines.
I didn’t catch the news either. It hit the floor, started to run off then my cat ate it. Thank god that she decided to leave the pterydactyl alone. I don’t think that my geraniums could compose with all that noise. Lovely aria they are working on, though. If only the cow hits those high notes. If not the banana q-tip is going to be in a pissy mood.
I almost forgot to ask, how’s everyone’s mom these days? Mine’s going through the cinder blocks like there is no tomorrow. I guess I know what to get her for her Thanksgiving Award this year.
Ask a normal, everyday chit-chat type question to which the answer from the next person is definitely not “chit-chatty” but still coherent.
Then ask a question for the next person so the chain can continue.
The result is an extrememly weird conversation which sounds like you speak this way to each other all the time. We used to love doing this in restaurants. The looks from the waitresses were priceless.
We’ve almost completed construction of the death ray and hopefully will be able to exterminate all the hamsters by the year 2004. It’s all for the betterment of mankind, you understand.
She’s doing fine since the medication kicked in. No more stripping to her birthday suit whenever she hears that song by “Chumbawumba” and humping the furniture. Thanks for asking.
Say, was that your sister I saw at the grocery store last Tuesday?
The game was called on account of Bob not being able to keep his pants up. Plus, Dennis Rodman kept picking up the balls and running away screaming “I was drunk! You can’t PROVE I married her!” Bocci ball is SUCH a complicated sport.
Couldn’t have been MY sister. Mom and dad still won’t let her out of the basement after the…“incident.” Plus, you probably wouldn’t even recognize her since the chin transplant. Made medical history.
OT: I’d just like to state that I’m crowing myself Queen Newbie since I got my own thread. Thankyewverymuch.
I wanted to, but the parole officer said I’m still not allowed to cross state lines with a keg of beer and high powered assault rifles. Fuckin’ Nazis.
Have you started planning for your holidays yet?
Why yes, this year instead of the traditional Christmas tree, we’re going for more of a Pagan theme and will be sacrificing my cousin Beth over a fire my dad’s going to build in the study.
Crunchy, If you’re talking about the woman who locked herself in the freezers with the Hot Pockets… than no, that would be my aunt. She hasn’t been the same since going thru the “change”. But then again, how many women do you know that produce enough energy during a hot-flash to roast a turkey.
Nymysys, I did go out. But only to feed on the neighbors butterflies. I love that fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I had spotted owl steak. No, it doesn’t taste like chicken, it tastes like bald eagle. I like hunting for it. I ride my trained elephant, load up his trunk, and let him spit the bullets. Well, they aren’t bullets, really. I didn’t want him to get lead poisoning, so I use dildos. The guy looked at me funny when I bought 50 last night.
lurker - I saw a great one a couple days ago. It was about a struggling nymphomaniac ballet dancer with a Chex Mix addiction trying to break into the glamorous world of retreading tires and his she-male girlfriend/boyfriend who juggles puppies at state fairs. It was called The Life and Times of Bob and Harry/Harriet.
