who forgot the q this time, Crunchy? :d:
haven’t been able to watch movies since THEY came and hijacked my eyes. I’ve been doing the best I can with a tomato and a mouse ball, but it’s just not the same. meanwhile my squirrel ran off with my collection of exotic condoms - kind of a let down.
so how’s everyone’s toes holding up?
Doing great. Every thing got better after I discovered how many fungi are killed when you pee in the shower.
How was class?
same old same old. the professor sponatneously sprouted a dozen eyes out his nostrils and turned green as he lectured about the joys of the integral of e to the x from midnight to morning, and how it equals f at u to the n (write it out)
anyway, how are the chicken’s warts doing?
Well, it wasn’t the chicken we were worried about, but Grandma’s fine and the Health Department has let us all go back to work.
So is it raining where you live?
Yea, the guys in the space suits came and warned us as usual, so we got the cars sfae in time, but Suzie left her bike out. Waste of a good bike, it’ll need to be disposed of and we’re running out of big lead lined containers.
What do you have planned for tomorrow?
Not to much, I have to start fasting for the sacrifice. You know how hard it is to run down a young virgin when you are starving? seeesh!
Read any good books lately?
Reda a real good book on how to negate the Establishment mind control experiments. The trouble is, they have repeaters and boosters in all the cell phones, that’s why they subside their use. Whenever you see one activated, you have to hit it with and axe. DOn’t let them convince you otherwise, do it now!
What are your plans for the weekend?
Well, it was going to involved shaved goats, fuzzy handcuffs, and nubile virgins. Then the damned government (controlled, no doubt, by the Great Jewish Conspiracy! I WANT MY FORESKIN BACK, CURSE YOU!) came in and kidnapped my wiffle bat, so that’s all been shot to hell.
So what is your favorite work of art?
That would have to be Doob’s Naked corpse on a barbed wire fence exhibition…I plan to avoid being around when he’s looking for subjects for the next one…it took ages to get the blood out of the carpets last time!
so looking forward to monday yet?
Not looking forward to Monday. this weekend I’m gonna invent a time machine so Sunday night I can set it back for Friday night, and just eternally live on the weekend. The power source is a problem, however - anyone kno wwhere I can buy 16,384 hamsters with wheels?
Is it gonna rain tomorrow?
I dunno, I guess the fire and brimstone showers must end first, and then those plagues of locusts may pass through, and of course the dead will have to walk too.
Heard any good cds lately?
I heard a great one. “Vulcan And The Mind Melders”. I listened to it wearing my paper Burger King crown and with a tablecloth stapled to the back of my jammys. Wheeeee! I can fly! They kept repeating something about 7% interest for a 60 month deposit.
What do you think about the space station?
The space station is ok, but I like the weather staion, and especially the traffic station. I think the traffic station needs more money, 'cuz I don’t think they have a real helicopter, that’s just a guy making chukka-chukka noises. I like the look of those football fields, that astroturf looks real cool. Today I put a piece of plastic in the blender, chopped it up real good, and seeded my lawn with it. I expect a nice lawn next year.
What do you think about the tech stock trend in the market?People are happy about tech stocks now, but the minute that the seventh eclipse occurs and all of our computers transmogrify into demons from outer Heck that will feast on our eyelashes and force inferior hair care products upon the populace… boy, will everyone be sorry.
So who did you run into yesterday?
Some old lady. Dunno her name. She was crossing against the light, came out of nowhere, and I ran into her. Scooped up waht was left, and shoved her in the trunk. Gonna find a place to dump her. Jersey’s always good for that - bodies rot and stink, but you wouldn’t notice that in Jersey.
How's that new car?Had to trade it in, the targeting system for the missle launcher didn’t work right…I tell you, ever since Q died, the quality of the parts have just gone to hell.
So, what do you think will be the big film of this season?
I heard Steven Speilberg is getting ready to release ‘Grandma Got Run Over By A Reigndeer- The Movie’. It stars Jim Carrey…actually, he’s the only one in it. He plays every single character! Even Grandma! How great is that? I tell ya, I can’t wait for that one.
So, what’d ya have for lunch?
Same as always, six martinis and a raw chicken.
Anyone been to the zoo lately?
The Zoo…don’t even get me starte. Well, alright,so i walk in, as always carrying the burden of the Jewish faith with me when this god awfull pirate parrot starts chattering about what and how the Theremin will parish my earthly komodos, and i was like, “Hey buddy, you mind Not analy probing me”, so he finally took out his beak and i was free to go, except for my portruding phagocyte got in the way and i freakin tripped on the bag lady!
Anyways…Anybody buy a new pair of pants?