Captain Midnight is a Fat-Ass!

In [thread, Captain Midnight posts the following:

Now, normally, I’d have some basic human sympathy for this rolly-polly shithead. But you know, I’m all sympathied out, because of [url=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12788876&postcount=94]this post of his](]this[/url) in a thread about gay marriage:

So, Captain Midnight, you are a fat disgusting piece of shit. Every day, it’s fat this and fat that. I mean, really, what do you hosebeasts want? No, I don’t want to watch some fat-asses kiss and hold hands in public. No, i don’t want my children seeing your fat-ass or being indoctrinated by your fat-ass lifestyle. I want fat-asses like you to quit lying to us and stating obviously wrong things like that your fat-assness is like a “drug.” Fuck you, and your fat-ass. There’s no fucking way I’ll ever let some Jackie Gleason looking motherfucker lecture me on what’s natural and what’s a proper life style. Hope you get a heart attack soon asshole!

Crap. I forgot the new pit rules. If a passing mod wants to edit my thread title or remove the “heart attack” line, please do. Thx.

As annoying as you have found his annoyance with gay marriage as a focus and his announcement that he does not want to see gay public displays of affection (and for that matter as annoying as it is that his post in the “fat” thread really added nothing to answering the op and was just self-centered excuse making, which perhaps could justify some mocking), at least he didn’t resort to using words that are insulting to gays as a group. Sure if he said “pansie” or “fag” or “disgusting homo” or “I hope you get AIDS and die” then your Pit as presented would be justified as satire … but he didn’t. You OTOH did cross that line, jerkwad.

I fat hate gays.

Oh, please. His post was insulting to gays as a group. And he’s an ignorant asshole who went on to post a bunch of incorrect legal advice in the thread about gay marriage. Maybe my post will knock some sense into his homophobic thick head. Maybe it won’t. But, I’m tired of being nice to homophobic assholes.

Okay, so he said something you didnt like in one thread. So, you pit him about another thread that has nothing to do with the first thread. And, his post in the second thread seems to be pretty reasonable and pertinent to that thread to me.

Bahhh, a pitting just for retaliation seems pretty fricking gay to me.

I have no problem with the idea that some people may view food similar to a drug or that some people may even feel helpless when around food. It’s a good as explanation as any for obesity. However, this guy has no problem asserting that homosexuality is within people’s control while at the same time trying to whine that his own obesity may be beyond his own control. Fuck him.

You’re gay.

Wait, are you saying homosexuality is as bad as obesity, and we should be trying to control it!

Why do you hate the gay children?

Nice try, but I’m not going to fall for it. I was stating what his assertions are, not what my thoughts are. Although I do think neither homosexuality or obesity is bad in and of itself. So, I guess in my personal view, they are equally “bad.”

The OP needs to get a life.

As a fat person, I would really appreciate it if Captain Midnight would somehow no longer be fat. That way, I would not be included in any group with him.

Since that’s not likely to happen, I guess I’ll have to lose the damn weight. Fuck.

I don’t know, consider this thread where Captain Midnight complains his college education was a waste.

I think we can all agree education was apparently wasted on him. While I can agree the modern lifestyle puts a lot of undue pressure on people trying to control their weight, and being fattish myself; it just mind numbingly short sighted to go from “wah I can’t help being fat” to “you can choose to stop being queer anytime now!”.

What an ass-hat.

So, BrightNShiny, out of curiosity, what other things might cause you to have sympathy for Captain Midnight but revoke it due to his post? Victim of arson? Loss of a limb? Put in the hospital by a drunk driver? Having a loved one raped? Being mugged? Please, do fill me in.

And, is there anything that would cause you to have sympathy for Captain Midnight in spite of his oh-so-horrific post that hurt your widdle feewings so badwy?

I couldn’t give a damn about this thread, but man, Captain Midnight’s attitudes toward food need a serious overhaul, or he’s going to die. Sooner rather than later, probably. Also, fresh food costs less than fast food. Economics is no excuse.

So after you run to defend your bigot-buddy are you going to give each other ironic handys?

Dudes, like, OK…which is grosser? Two queers making out in public or two tubbies?

Aw man, I know, right?

I’m fat and have a gay mom (who is also fat)- I see nothing wrong with the OP.
Captain Midnight wants to rag on a group of people as gross and teaching his kids deviant behavior, but it’s ok for him to waddle around teaching his kids that heart disease is fun for the whole family. If we want to assume Captain Midnight has some sort of greater disorder (either the ever-present glandular disorder here on the Dope that 1/3 posters claims to have or a psychological problem with food), then that is something he has no choice in— just like homosexuals have no choice in who they love. If Captain Midnight wants to be a douche and say that gays have a choice (which is implied by his quotes around “lifestyle”), then you know what? Get your fat ass to the gym, put down the junk, and drink some water- because your fat ass is a choice, too. You’re not only teaching your kids something shitty that is going to make their lives much more difficult and potentially painful, but it’ll hurt them greatly when daddy keels over with a bag of Doritos in his hands, covered in a sticky Gatorade residue.

Let’s not even get started on the fact that he drinks Gatorade because he thinks it’s healthier. Aye. Ignorance, ignorance, ignorance.

That was one giant non sequitor of an OP. I am the polar opposite of gay myself but I have known many gay people over the years (none of this “some of my best friends are…” crap, I hung out with them in groups by choice and always had a great time as the token straight man). I am a social libertarian and honestly don’t care what other people do because I am so self-centered but sometimes these types of things run in a huge loop so that you become so tolerant that you find yourself back at the same place as the bigots.

Most of the the gay males I have known really are pervs who must drink pure Spanish Fly instead of water. Drug issues are no better. They aren’t just another version of a regular domestic couple like they show on TV. Like I said, it sounds fun but no one should act confused about why AIDS spreads so rapidly among them. There is no big mystery there. It is the same thing with gay pride parades. I honestly don’t care which side someone likes their toast buttered on. There is responsible activism and then there is just plain bad taste and being gay doesn’t excuse anyone from the latter mortal sin. The trannies and the polys are no better.

I honestly wonder what is going to happen if everyone eventually just accepts it all. Will they finally just shut the hell up and let us get some peace and quiet or can I start my own straight white-male pride parade to get on equal footing?

Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years

This is a prime example of why I laugh when people complain about the dope being a liberal bastion of tolerance.