Sears:
What a great sale! You have a nice, affordable dishwasher that I am desperately in need of, being that the old one has taken to dampening the dishes just enough increase the adhesion between particulate matter and my dining ware, and then baking it on during the drying cycle. Truly, I would be crazy not to take advantage of this fantastic offer.
I buy on a Sunday, schedule to pick it up on the following Wednesday (thus avoid paying MA sales tax). Wednesday comes, and my Spidey-sense is tingling. Knowing from past experience not to ignore It, I call the store where I purchased said washer to confirm its presence at the warehouse where I am to pick it up.
What’s that you say? The sales rep mistakenly put down Sunday as the pick up day? Surely that’s not a problem, as the item, once purchased, was “picked” out of inventory as sold. Right? Right?
Well, apparently not. When I failed to show up on the day mistakenly appointed by the saleswoman, Sears gave it to the next lucky customer (I begrudgingly don’t hold this practice against them, but include it in this rant to make my laundry list appear longer). Unfortunately, there are no more in stock, and my dishwasher would have to be ordered.
“How long will this take?” says I.
“Oh, it should be in by next Wednesday,” says the dutiful CSR.
“O’tay,” says I, “I shall call you next Wednesday to confirm that day’s pickup. And please, pay no attention to the inconvenience of rustling up a friend with a truck yet again- and don’t even mention to me the concern of picking up and having installed a dishwasher on the same day as my wife’s tentative due date, for these mean nothing to me when compared to the prospect of machine-cleaned dishes!”
“I will mention it not, for your wish is our command,” says he.
Flash forward: the next Wednesday. I wake up with that feeling again. After taking a pee, it still hasn’t gone away- oh no! It’s my Spidey-sense again!
My first call to the “Dishwasher Department” is less than fruitful. I am “helped” by a lad who knows little about dishwashers, for he is only “covering” for someone. It is suggested that I call the warehouse directly and check with.
“OK, but the number for the warehouse is not printed on the little map you gave me containing the directions,” says I, expectantly.
“Yes, we’re not supposed to give that out,” says the mind-blowingly self-contradicting lad.
“Yet you still propose that I should call them?”
“I know,” says he to me. Or at least I assume he was talking to me, as we were still on the phone.
Awe-inspired at this non-sequitor turn of the conversation, I suggest that maybe I should call back when he is done “covering”. He agrees, and we part ways amicably.
Phone call the second: I speak to Harry, the gentleman with a Southern accent, to whom I had originally spoken the previous Wednesday. He remembers me- I should have been thankful and stopped there.
After a brief pause, he comes back, and entusiastically tells me that my dishwasher will be ready for pickup!
On November 29.
Well, good old Sears: you wait a few weeks, give em some rope, and then politely ask to speak to a manager so as to voice your irritation and cancel your order, and what do they do?
Stay tuned: Harry willl be calling me back soon. The possibility of a free and available upgrade was mentioned.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Next: Home Depot, flooring sales, and giant backorders!
-j