I am not making this up, this is the slogan of an anti-porn website.
I was wathing TV late on sunday when this commercial comes on. It starts off with a little dwarf trying to reach up to get a skateboard and get the payphone and other kind of things he can’t reach.
“who knew that porn would stunt his growth” Spouted the voice of reason from beyond the camera.
I thought I missed a day in school or something, who knew dwarfism was caused by an excess of naked women!?
I kept waiting for the blind guy and the werewolf with hairy palms to jump on the bandwagon for the anti-porn crusade.
It finally ended with it’s catchy slogan, “the #1 christian porn site!”
(On a side note, if there are no other competitors in your catagory, you should not be able to label yourself as #1. You are not the #1 christian porn site, you are the ONLY friggen christian porn site!!!)
Ok now here’s the website, the #1 christian porn website! xxxchurch, don’t worry, there is nothing on this site to offend anyone… well, at least it won’t offend the people who have never masturbated.
I was on a date with a little heroine once, and she jacked me up when I made some crack about her height. I should have known that a 4’6" war heroine had some mad skillz.
Wow, I didn’t know you could stick that much sexual innuendo into 1 paragraph. The little drug simile is a nice touch too.
Umm I have a good idea why no one is talking about it at church. Because of jackasses like you comparing porn to heroin.
Dear Mr. Anti-Porn Nazi,
What you have here is what the people with most of our brain still intact called a double standard. Preaching not to look at porn and then asking people why they don’t talk about porn, you have answered your own fucking question. Instead of teaching people about hormones and natural human desires, you are telling teenagers that looking at porn is like shooting up heroine and it will fuck up your mind. Where do you get off calling yourself a pastor, and better yet, where do you get off telling me how and when I am allowed to tenderize my meat(He He). Instead of wasting money for your church porn site why don’t you spend it actually making a difference in the world. I propose you start a organization dedicated to funding the operation to get your head dislodged from your rectum.
I don’t think it’s a joke. They have another website: www.thegoofballs.com where they talk about their Christian youth ministry and stuff. They’ve been featured on TV.
so if everytime somebody masturbates God kills a kitten, how is it that there are still kitten alive?
I guess that if people would stop masturbating right now, kitten population would grow till they become a major problem, a pest, a plague… Then I guess that masturbating could be seen as “population control of kitten”.
By the way, are the actors starring “Cats” included in kitten slughter? If so, would it be considered homicide if somebody masturbates and, consecuently, one of those actors get killed? Or would be God held as responsible and the masturbating one would just be considered as accomplice?
Ugh, too many questions, so little answers.