10,000 B.C. - The Movie: What are they THINKING?

Hmm, another nitpick – those “dhows” with what look like lateen sails. There’s no recorded evidence of sailing before something like 3500 B.C. (though there’s not much record of a lot of things, going back that far*). OTOH, clearly there was human seafaring in very ancient times, as evidenced by human settlement of Australia about 40,000 or more years ago.

*by the same token, clearly humans didn’t urinate in bronze age times, since there’s no record of it.

Apparently the main character is freeing someone of somebody or several somebodies.

My first reaction, after seeing the trailer?

Spartacus with Mammoths. :smiley:

Jeez, I just realized what must wipe out the Ziggurat Bronze-Age Kingdom, so that there’s no evidence of their culture, duh.

[QUOTE=Q.E.D.]
It is entirely possible to suspend disbelief and enjoy a film for what it is…and still nitpick the hell out it. I, for one, intend to do both.
[/QUOTE]

As long as you can still enjoy it then nitpick away. From just the trailer it looks like it could really really suck or be a bit of fun. I wll not watch it looking for any kind of accuracy.

I swear to you, my first thought on seeing the commercial was “Man, I can’t wait to see the Dope thread about this one.”

:slight_smile:

I can think of 300 reasons why they made this movie.

150 buxom cuties?

I think this film’s father is Apocalypso.
Thanks Mel!

[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
One of those “They bombed us back to to the stone age!” things?
[/QUOTE]

YOU MANIACS!! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

It’s a Roland Emmerich film which basically means Michael Bay but not as highbrow.

[QUOTE=Yumblie]
And reset the calendar to 10,000 years ago?

You know, they could make this movie really ridiculous/awesome if it turned out, in an homage/parody to Battlefield Earth, we find out that this primitive society is actually future society after aliens took over (they built the pyramids, see). So then we have sabretooth tigers and woolly mammoths battling alien spaceships and robots. And hey, as long as chronology doesn’t matter, how about some medieval ninjas show up? And then Jesus rides in on a T-rex and saves the day.
[/QUOTE]

Or The Doctor could drop in & save the day. (Perhaps after Torchwood had made things even worse.)

[quote]

Just for the record, Benoit’s novel “l’Atlantide” has Atlantis set in the middle of the Sahara desert. It spawned about half a dozen film versions (like Siren from Aylantis) that also had Atlantis out in the desert. It’s not beyond the bounds of possibility, but on the other hand I wouldn’t credit the filmmakers with knowing about this.

I know I’ve read stories with bits and pieces of stuff like this – Conan is filled with lost cities in the desert co-existing with prehistoric bneasts. L Sprague de Camp wrote “The Dragopn of the Ishtar Gates”, with ancient Babylonian cities and dinosaurs, and so on. But this just looks dumb.

[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
One of those “They bombed us back to to the stone age!” things?
[/QUOTE]

MsSmith beat me to it, IT’S A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE!

[QUOTE=msmith537]
It’s a Roland Emmerich film which basically means Michael Bay but not as highbrow.
[/QUOTE]

Sacrilege!

I’m sorry, but just I couldn’t let this slide.

I’ve enjoyed most of Emmerich’s films, and loathed most of Bay’s. I don’t have any pretenses about Roland Emmerich’s artistic skillz. I just think his films are better than Michael Bay’s. (I think the only Bay film I enjoyed more than an Emmerich film was Transformers, and that’s only because Godzilla was such a turkey.) Emmerich’s films seem to be more fun, whereas I think Bay takes himself way too seriously.

As for the OP, I’ll go see the movie. I love stories set in the Conan mythos, and I’m willing to give this movie the same treatment.

Upon re-reading my post, I’m afraid I failed to make it clear that I think neither of these clowns could make an honestly good non-cheesy movie. They’re both in the same class, but where Bay is scraping by with Ds and low Cs, Emmerich consistently earns a solid A-.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the answer to the OP’s question is: Not much.

Maybe it’s pining for the fjords.

[QUOTE=Wiki by friedo]
As a member of a primitive tribe during the dawn of man, 21-year-old mammoth hunter D’Leh (Steven Strait) travels through unknown lands on a quest to rescue his people from extinction. D’Leh, leading an army, uncovers a lost civilization while in pursuit of a warlord who kidnapped his love, Evolet (Camilla Belle). D’Leh and his army encounter saber-toothed cats, mammoths and other prehistoric creatures in the journey to save his tribe.
[/QUOTE]

And then they met Ayla and Jondalar and there was much good sex.

wow, 8% on the Tomato-meter. Ouch.

“Barney Rubble had a lot more charisma than anyone involved in this movie”

[QUOTE=Jodi]
And then they met Ayla and Jondalar and there was much good sex.
[/QUOTE]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking of something like this! :smiley:

Poor Camilla Belle. She was good in When a Stranger Calls, then she gets sucked into this mess. Perhaps she’ll have to get nekkid to make up for it…

[QUOTE=Love Rhombus]
Poor Camilla Belle. She was good in When a Stranger Calls, then she gets sucked into this mess. Perhaps she’ll have to get nekkid to make up for it…
[/QUOTE]

She’d damned well better. I tell ya, the sex scene with her in The Quiet, looked pretty freakin’ stupid because it didn’t show us her titties! (Seriously, it was blatently obvious that the camera was being moved in all kinds of crazy directions so we wouldn’t get a glimpse of her boobage.)