My daughter is about to turn 13 and she wants a nose ring. I told her she’d at very least have to wait until 13, because I mean come on. But even then, I don’t know. I also don’t know if she would actually go through with it because she’s a huge baby about needles, but she insists she would.
I can’t think of a particularly good reason why not, but it seems weird. I have no problem just telling her no, and she wouldn’t even expect a reason (she assumed I would say no anyway), but I don’t really like to say no with no reason, and it would actually look cute on her.
I’m collecting opinions. Just for fun really, because I’m not that worried about it.
Well I don’t like any sort of piercings except earrings on females, but that’s just my aesthetics. OTOH, some of the kids at your daughter’s school might find it weird.
I have my nose pierced and I love it. I think nose piercings can be cute or even hot depending on what jewellery is involved.
The good thing about piercings is that they’re non-permanent. So if she doesn’t like it, she can just take the stud/ring out and it will heal in time. Or at the worst, leave a tiny hole that can barely be seen.
However, that said my gut is feeling that 13 is too young. I don’t know why, it just is. I feel like piercings beyond a little girl’s ear piercings are not something that mommy and daddy buy for you. They’re something you decide on with your own research and use your own money to get, and you take care of yourself. It’s a weird idea to have and I can’t even defend it that strongly, just that… I think it’s too easy to do shit like that when you need parental permission and they’ll pay for it for you. Whereas if she waits and still wants it done at 16 (or whatever is the minimum age piercers will do piercings on without parental consent), when it’s her own money being used, then that is more in line with her really wanting it.
It’s her body. 13 is old enough to make decisions about it, imo.
On the other hand, nose piercings can (in rare-ish circumstances) lead to issues requiring medical attention, which is expensive, so if you’re just casting around for a reasonable excuse to delay the issue until she’s older, there’s that.
She’s your kid. If you want reasons, do your research. I don’t have personal experience with nose rings, but some piercings are more difficult to care for/heal than others, which then you’d need to consider against how responsible your kid is and whether you think she can handle 3-4 times a day cleaning and care.
For example, apparently naval rings are notorious for healing badly, getting infected (often repeatedly), or rejecting. Mine healed with no issue, but I’d guess that’s part luck, part diligence with after-care, and part having done my research to get a titanium ring.
You’ll also need to research the piercing place, visit and ask them how they handle sterility, etc. You may need to check out a few before you find one that’s professional and knowledgable. Don’t bother with any that won’t take the time to answer questions and explain sterility procedures.
Just in case it needs to be said, do NOT go to a kiosk at a mall to do this with a piercing gun. The force involved would mess up her nose, if they could even wedge the gun up there. Cartilege piercings need to be done with a beveled, hollow needle.
I’m old enough that the idea of tattoos and piercings seems bizarre to me. But I’m also old enough to know that teenagers have been upsetting parents with their fashion choices from time immemorial. At least a nose ring isn’t permanent like a tattoo.
9 times out of ten, this is because somebody else at school did it first and your daughter is trying to fit in. When I was that age, my mother’s response would always be, “if your friends jumped in a fire, would you jump in a fire too?” Looking back, she was 100% right. The only reason I wanted some of this crap (e.g. breakdancing shoes, faux Michael Jackson jacket) was simply because I was trying to copy somebody else.
Yeah, I know what you mean. She does have Xmas money though, and I would definitely make her do research on it and report back. But she’d still need my permission.
I got my ear cartilage piercings with a gun before I knew better and one had a hard little lump next to it for YEARS (then it went away…I don’t know where it went…). I don’t know if they ever even do nose piercings with a gun, but if so, yeah, that definitely would not do.
That’s the thing, I try to choose my battles because once she sees something isn’t going to be a battle, half the time she loses interest anyway. She came to me all, “I don’t know WHY I can’t dye my hair!!” a couple years ago and I said sure she can, go ahead. She never did.
I don’t think anyone at school has, but obviously she didn’t make the whole thing up herself so she’s copying something. But in her case I think some of it is wanting to look older. Poor thing looks several years younger than her friends. Also, since she was about 4 I’ve thought she was going to be into things like that. She had a “friend” who worked at a store we always went to that had a really cute punk style and my daughter was so impressed with her. I’m not like that at all, but I just thought she would be. Luckily, like that other girl, she’s cute enough to pull off some weird things.
Well, that’s what I mean, a stud. I agree about rings.
If the piercer wants to do her nose with a gun, she’s not allowed to get it done there. Reputable piercers are even moving away from guns for ears and shouldn’t even be considering it on any other body part.
And she needs to be aware of that. They’re going to clamp her nose, and stick a fuckoff xbawks hueg needle into it. And it will hurt like FUCK. I bliss out when I get tattoos done, and even I had tears flowing freely when my nose was pierced. And it will hurt for several days afterward. And your nose moves a surprising amount when you talk and make facial expressions.
I didn’t know any of that and I don’t think she does either! I figured it would probably hurt about as much as ear cartilage piercing, which even a baby like me didn’t think was bad. This kid freaks out when she has to get a shot. I’ll definitely be telling her to do some research.
Gun piercings I find tend to hurt less at the time, because there’s the shock of the sudden “thunk” right next to your head, and the stud being punched rapidly through the flesh.
Good piercers will be swift and as painless as possible, but they’re still jamming a needle through your flesh by hand, it takes a little bit of time.
Ouch. Yeah, needle piercings always seemed scarier to me for that reason but I thought I might be wrong. I know gun piercings are bad but I’m glad mine all worked out okay and are over! (I have 3 in each earlobe and 1 in each cartilage, and had my daughter’s ears done at a couple months old.)
What ridiculous advice. I don’t have a radiator.
For once in her life she was going to be fine with just being told “no” without a reason. I think she knows most 13-year-olds are not allowed to get their nose pierced.
But I like to think of myself as a mom who doesn’t say no for no good reason. But then I remind myself that the things she wants to do (put a purple streak in her hair; get her nose pierced; etc.) are things that, while I would never personally do them, I think could look cute on her. Let’s say she wanted to shave her head. I’d be like hell no. So then I guess I’m not so different than my mom posting a sign up on the wall stating what size of clothes my sister and I were allowed to buy (baggy clothes era), or my Catholic school stating that ALL hair coloring and even clear nail polish was prohibited. I’m still saying “you can’t do what I don’t like”, but I just like a wider range of things than they did.
