I think I might say that I’m leaning against it and say, “Convince me why I should let you have it.”
I think nose rings (the nostril ones, not the septum ones so much, and definitely not the bridge ones that make my eyes water) and studs are very cute, personally, though I do not have any piercings at all.
I’d say draw this out a bit and make her demonstrate some maturity (paying for it? hitting a birthday? research care, potential problems, healing, and advice for job applicants with piercings? something?) before she gets it. There is nothing wrong with a nose piercing- even in conservative DC you see them fairly often. It’s not to far off mainstream and as far as piercings go they heal very well.
But it can be useful for a parent to have a little soft battle of wills in the work with in order to delay some of those larger battles, and it’s always good to show that freedoms come with demonstrations of taking responsibility.
I will have a chuckle at people who say “Oh no it’s UGLY!” The last thing on a 12 year old’s mind is what they look like to a bunch of oldsters.
I was being somewhat facetious, but not completely. It’s what I’ve experienced with my two daughters and a lot of other teen girls I know. I’m not saying all girls. But in this region, it’s not unusual, like getting multiple tattoos.
I just remembered: when I took my daughter in for the nose piercing, there was a woman who had brought in her daughter for her very first nipple piercing - just like Mom’s. ~wipes away a tear~
Yeah, but earrings? I got my ears pierced when I was six. Earrings are just normal fashion, not like, body piercing. Yeesh.
I have my nose pierced, and I say make her wait until she’s at least sixteen. It took mine about a year to heal, and you have to make sure to wash it with warm salt water, you can’t change the piercing for at least three months, etc. You also have to know what to do about infections, and all that. At thirteen, you’re pretty fickle about these kinds of things.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my nose piercing, but I was in my twenties when I got it done. There’s no way I’d reccomend it for a thirteen-year-old.
(And no, I don’t have snot flying out of it. ;))
I read through the whole thread preparing to warn the OP about checking with the school, but I see Thudlow Boink and WhyNot have covered that. Our middle school forbids any facial piercings, visible tattoos, or “non-natural” hair colors (no bright red, purple, green, etc.) and we do indeed mean it. We’ve sent intransigent children home until they come to school in dress code, and we’ve invited intransigent parents to find another school for them if they refuse to cooperate. Just because we’re a public school doesn’t mean that individual parents get to make individual rules for their own children. I don’t really get the thing about the hair colors, either, but as our principal says, the kids are going to push against the boundaries no matter what those boundaries are. These are the ones we’ve set. I’m dreading tomorrow, since it’s the first school day after winter break, and we’re going to have at least a few kids in the office with the brand-new hair colors and piercings that they talked their parents into spending good money on without checking school rules first.
Not an option at our school. When we say no piercings, we mean none.
Oddly enough, I don’t really have a personal opinion about piercings or tattoos or any other fashion choice someone else makes. I do think it’s worthwhile to try not to allow a child to make any fashion choices that can’t be undone fairly easily later if she changes her mind. Whether or not she’ll change her mind after having it done depends on the maturity level of the child, of course, and her parents are the best people to judge that.
I still agree to make her wait for a few years. As said before, my mom told me I had to wait until I was eighteen. I think I was probably around thirteen the first time I broached it. And I am glad she did, actually, because by the time 18 came round and I STILL wanted one, I’d had time to think about it and know that I really did want one, and it wasn’t just a whim.
I can’t believe the story of snot through the hole. Trust me, it never happens to me. I deliberately chose a stud with a very small post though - it’s a corkscrew type thing and twists inside your nose, so there’s no backing, and the post keeps it a tiny, tiny hole. When I take it out you cannot see there is a hole, unless you look from an inch away. No snot comes out of it. I hate snot so much that if that were the case I’d probably take it out and let the hole close up.
As to the escalating slippery slope: Only mom knows if her kid is one of those. Now I certainly like piercings - I wear two earrings in each ear and am thinking of getting another…but no other body piercings, ever.
Let her do it.
When I was 13 I wanted my nose pierced and my parents made me wait until I was 15. By the time I was 15, it became symbolic in a way it shouldn’t have. If they had just told me yes in the first place I might not even have done it, or changed my mind in a few weeks and took it out. Because they told me no, in order to convince them to let me do it, I had to really commit to the nose ring, make them think it was practically integral to my happiness, and when they finally let me get it done my pride kept me from taking it out for the next few years even when it got infected and was painful, because I had convinced them and myself that it was somehow symbolic of my independence and autonomy. I don’t know your daughter; she might not be as stubborn as I am. 
But IME not making a big deal about it is the way to go.
I was a pretty liberal mom myself raising my daughter, who is 40 years old now. But I have to say that 13 is very young to get a piercing other than ears. Personally I would hold off letting her get one. Even though I love mine and have had it for about 4 years, it can be quite a pain in the butt. The studs I have found are way too short and have a tendency of coming out. I’ve had to order most of my stuff online and that part isn’t all that bad. If I had known the sizing and blowing your nose was going to be the hassle it’s been all this time, I may not have decided on it. It’s the only piercing that I’ve had problems with, and not from the respect of getting infected. You can just imagine the pain it is to clean the inside after you’ve blown your nose. All that mucous adheres to the jewelry inside your nostril and since I’m not very good at taking my own jewelry out, I find my finger up inside often trying to clean the jewelry. Nothing is worse than seeing someone with a piercing and there’s dried or wet snot attached to it. And after it has healed and you want to change out the jewelry, if the piercer doesn’t bend the stud properly you will find that the back of the jewelry will hang outside your nostril and you will either be sticking your finger up there to push it out of sight or finding a pencil or some object to shove it back in. I think it would be frustrating for a girl of her age to have to deal with it. I find it a pain in the butt. The other piercing I had problems with was the dermal or microdermal its called. I definitely wouldn’t let a child get that piercing.
Well, since the thread started 9 months ago, the piercing may have already happened.
Any decision, **Blackberry? **
I didn’t look back far enough to see who posted the problem with “stuff” coming out the piercing when they would blow their nose. I have never heard of such a thing. The piercing is such a minute hole I can’t see how in the world anything like that could happen. I’ve seen the very large jewelry some wear in their ears like in the days of the tribes, but I’ve never seen one that big on someone’s nose. I can say with confidence that a normal size nose piercing would not have that problem.
I kept my decision at “maybe” and told her I’d heard that it really hurts and that if she wants it she needs to research it more, and she decided against it for now.
Let her do it. Why would a nose piercing be any more provocative than earrings? Because society says so?
Isn’t that pretty much the reason why **anything **is considered provocative?
The 15 year old can have friends who are boys. But not a “boyfriend.” On Saturday she went to the homecoming dance with a boy (and to a restaurant beforehand), and that’s fine and encouraged. But no dating.
It’s just the way I roll.
No visible piercings just means getting pierced where daddy won’t look.
Dinner and dancing? That’s not a date?
reported
What about a magnetic nose stud?
Piercings on a zombie might tear the flesh and fall out. Magnetic nose studs, on the other hand, could work!
Next time you’re eating chicken, grab a bone and make like you’re going to just shove it through her nose.
What?