Holy guacamole! The poor bastard went into a coma at age 19, and is still paralyzed. After 18 years, I’d damn well be looking for a little satisfaction on the other side of a fucking COMA.
There’s some other great stuff in this story. Apparently these are sod-of-the-earth types from Arkansas, as one can gather from the vernacular:
So, to paraphrase Sheila Koslofski, “Horrific deplorable consumer preference programming is OK, just don’t use any naughty words!”
So when’s the 18 year backlog supply of Pepsi get dropped off at the house? If I was with Pepsi’s ad agency, I’d be on this like white on friggin rice, no?
I’d wanna be the corporate vice president in charge of promotions and advertising who said, “Hey, let’s take advantage of this poor sonofabitch’s incredible misfortune and his family’s agony by riding his ass into the great sunset of greater sales. Nearly twenty years in a coma, and the first thing he wanted was Pepsi! Hey, I bet they’ll really like a little help payin’ those medical bills, right?”
…and then, America rises up in a righteous wrath of compassion and smacks the crap out of Pepsico for daring to do this crass and commercial thing.
And that particular veep is very quickly lookin’ for a job.
I still have SOME faith in the taste and decency of the average human.
And the ability of corporate veeps to learn from the mistakes of others…
Ummm… are you from a place that doesn’t get the ABC, NBC, CBS or FOX television networks? I’m reporting from the planet where corporate veeps are running joyously into the sunset after raping the populace and plundering their life savings… and you? Just checking…
heheh… “righteous wrath of compassion”… How many in the percentage of the population that gets its news from TV can use that phrase in a sentence?
Well, sure. I have no doubt that any corporate veep who can get away with it would merrily rape the entire country, financially speaking, and do so with a smile on his face. I mean, Enron should serve as an example for us all, here.
And as far as promotion, advertising, and suchlike goes… well, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste and intelligence of the American public.
…but there are lines one should not cross. Doing so can get you very deep in the baaaaaad stuff. I’m thinking in particular about what happened with the “New Coke” thing, a decade or so ago. Coke thought they had improved their product and were quite sure they’d nail down the soda market.
Instead, America rose up and went all medieval on them.
That’s something even corrupt corporate execs understand: losing their jobs and getting screwed because America went all medieval on them.
…and if I were a rapacious corporate exec, sure, I’d be looking for the big score, the shining moment, the great opportunity that would get me in good with the company and my bosses, and even make me rich, if I play it right…
…but I’d sure’s hell be thinking: “what will I do if this doesn’t work?”
…and when faced with a golden opportunity of highly questionable taste… like this one… I’d be thinking “What am I going to do if America rises up and bites me on the ass for this?”
First, I’d send some Pepsi, just a case or two with a funny note written by whichever PR weenie is the best comedian. Then a small press release to announce it.
Then I offer some dough to the family (quietly) to see if they’re interested in pursuing it. If they’re not then fine. If they want the money we prep up PR to handle it. Not standard commercials but more the ‘Pepsi is committed to good human standards’ type of thing with this guy beginning to walk and talk and, unsurprisingly, drinking a Pepsi.
Hell, if I were Pepsico I’d send him a case a week for life just because. But don’t underestimate the power of PR nor overestimate the public’s intelect, Wang-Ka, specially with Johnathan’s scenario of a low-key human-interest type campaign. Nobody’s going to propose a campaing based on something along the lines of Bob Dole as the doctor saying “I know what you need to stand up” and Brittney Spears and Shakira in shortie nurse dresses tending to him. That would be tasteless (but worth seeing!).
And the “make love to me” line is “dirty”??? Sorry, dad, but coming out of a 18-year coma would seriously alter my sense of humor. Like the man said, he can now say anything he wants.
May I say in a serious vein, that from the report itself it seems that for all these years the family had not been able to afford having him be thoroughly checked out as to rehabilitability. That’s sad – who knows what could have been done.
Funny thing is, that was in 1985: the same year that this guy had his accident. And his first request is for Pepsi. Perhaps he went sour on Coke just before his injury?
—Rilchiam, who actually liked the “New Coke”, would have found it perfectly acceptable as a supplement to regular Coke, and cannot be shaken of her conviction that the so-called “Classic” Coke is NOT the original formula.