1st Timer dealing with School System-Help!

Ok, I understand in a perfect world there are no grey areas about what is cool and kosher.

My daughter is starting school on her 3rd birthday due to a speech delay. She has been in speech therapy for the last year, and this is their recommendation. It is a special program, not regular a regular curriculum.

I visited the class today to get all the paperwork and see how it all works. The teacher was leading the class in stories and songs and the aid was in the back. I went over to the aid to ask a few questions. My first question was “Do they need to have all of the supplies by the first day, or is in the first week soon enough?”

She didn’t understand the question. She spoke so little english that she did not understand me.

My daughter is there in a program designed to teach her to SPEAK. And the class aid doesn’t speak english with even a basic fluency.

I am horrified. I don’t even know what to say or do. How important are aids? I am very new at this and very overwhelmed. Should I be freaking out? Should it bother me as much as it does? Should I speak up? or suck it up?

Tell me experienced parents. WWSDPD?

Does your daughter have an IEP? If so, I would request an immediate meeting with the team and ask them the questions you’ve asked us. If not, contact the principal and explain your concerns.

In particular, they need to explain to you their perception of the aide’s role in the class, and how they plan to overcome any problems that may occur because of the aide’s lack of English skills. If you would feel more comfortable, request that the speech therapist join you in the meeting.

My son started school at age two due to language issues and his aide was very important in his development. In his case, the aide was assigned directly to him so this issue would have been critical in his language development. Definitely don’t just hang back to see what happens; be assertive and make sure your concerns are addressed.

Although I am not a parent, I see no reason to assume that the school district is unaware of the Aid’s limited English, and thus would assume that the Aid wille be performing tasks which assist the teacher but do not require significant amounts of spoken English.

On the other hand, I think as a responsible, concerned, and involved parent, it is important that you NOT assume that this is normal, reasonable, and being handled appropriately by the school system.

Contact the principal(or other appropriate parties) and ask about it. Be polite and diplomatic but firm and clear.

What you want is an explanation of the Aid’s role in the classroom, not to accuse the Aid of being unqualified for her job.

I agree, to an extent, with these replies. It certainly is reasonable to contact the school to raise your concerns, and initially to discuss the situation you encountered. It’s quite possible that the school has put more thought into it than is obvious, and this would be an opportunity for them to explain their plans. Approach them with a collaborative attitude, not a confrontational one, and you’ll (hopefully!) find them receptive and willing to talk.

What is also important to remember is that the aid isn’t the teacher (nor is she a speech therapist, or translator!), and that there’s a thousand ways a second adult in a classroom will help with organisation and with learning which involve little or no verbal communication. You didn’t see a cross-section of typical lessons, only a snapshot, so it’s dangerous to extrapolate from this the effectiveness of the staff overall.

It’s a speech class, not a language class did you stipulate you wanted Smallbeast (sp?) to speak English? :slight_smile:

Seriously though I’m with you on the overwhelmed thing - my husband is the designated officials rep. Let the teacher explain to you the structure of the class and the role of the aide.

Aside: I’ve got a lisp which I tailor for English otherwise people repeat what I’ve said and laugh etc, but Spanish is so relaxing for me - I can thay things and nobody lauths!

Yes, she has an IEP. We got it last week. I read it to my mother and she kept asking “is that bad?” “is that good?” Through all the hoops we have jumped through with all this, it seems so silly now.

I’m already so worked up about this whole process that I don’t think I should say anything at this point. I did talk to my parental liason about it, but it is hard to discuss this subject in THIS town, without sounding like a flaming racist. I’ll sit on it a week or so, watch the class and see what is going on overall.

I’m so terrified my daughter will suffer because of me.

What is a parental liason? Is that the school’s term for a parent mentor? And what did the liason say about your concerns?

Relax. You are correct to have concerns; this is not to say that the school cannot address them in a manner that makes you feel comfortable that your daughter is getting the instruction and assistance she needs. But you are your child’s primary advocate. When you run into a situation that appears questionable, don’t be afraid to question it. I speak from experience on this; it can impact others besides your child and could be an issue that needs to be addressed for the greater good of all.

But for now, if it’s possible, sit and observe the class for a few days and see what goes on. If you aren’t feeling more comfortable with the situation by the end of next week, contact your liason and request an immediate meeting to discuss your concerns.

I’m actually confused about a child starting school at the age of 3? (and as one other poster mentioned, 2?). Is this usual?

It’s usual if your child has been in the Early Intervention program (other states might have other names). Early Intervention is a state sponsored program where kids with disabilities or at risk for disabilities (like my micropreemie) can get low or no cost physical, speech or occupational therapy until the age of 3. At age 3, the child can be transferred into the local school system and, if the condition warrants it, and Individualized Educational Plan will be written to ensure that the child’s needs, including those same therapies, are continued to be met. If you chose not to start school at 3, you need to pay for private therapy, or work on your own with your kid until you put them into school (or, of course, do nothing at all) as Early Intervention is only funded up to age 3.

Auntbeast, because your daughter’s delay is specifically in the area of speech, I don’t think you’re out of line to be worried at all. However, I’d encourage you, as other posters have said, to find out from the school how they intend to meet the criteria of your IEP, not to directly cast doubt on this aide. It may be that her sole job is to hand out crayons and make sure snack is ready on time, or she may have been hired as a condition of some other kid’s IEP (an ESL student who speaks her native tongue, perhaps, or a physical or occupational delay).

Also, as long as she has one good active English speaker to work with her, I wouldn’t worry about this woman’s presence inhibiting her development. Yes, she needs to practice good English, but hearing bad English won’t harm her. She may even pick up some other language from a native speaker, and that could only be a good thing.

Sorry for the delay in following up. WhyNot did an excellent job explaining the process we have been through. She has been treated since she turned 2 by an early intervention program through the state and is in the process of transitioning over to the county schools.

I’ll definitely give it time, but I’m not the girl who sits back and keeps her mouth shut, not even on a good day.

Yep, we’ve been through EI too, only we decided to delay preschool for a bit because WhyBaby’s delays were so slight she wouldn’t (so her therapists said) qualify for therapy in a Chicago Public School, and I’m still not decided on homeschooling or not. She may end up going to the child care at my college two days a week while I’m in class, but even that’s still up in the air.

Really, I don’t think you should keep your mouth shut. I kept my mouth shut for far too long with my older child, letting his teachers reassure me that his problems were emotional in nature, or he was going to catch up any day now. Finally I had enough and I wrote a letter to the Resource Teacher at his school, and and cc-ed it to every single one of his teachers and the principal, the superinendant and every member of the school board. I got a panicked phone call from the Resource Teacher at 8:05 AM the next morning, and he was scheduled for testing within the week.

You HAVE to be her advocate, because, frankly, no one else cares about her like you do. Don’t be afraid to be “THAT Mom”, because at the end of the day, who cares? They don’t have to like you, they just have to do their jobs and give her the best education possible. Of course they don’t want to - that takes time and money and energy, and most people at the root are just lazy. You’ve got to keep setting fires under their collective asses so that she doesn’t get overlooked in favor of the kids whose parents *are *“THAT Mom”.

But, again, no need to single out the aide. Just make an appointment to meet with the teacher near the end of the first week of school and have a friendly chat about how things are going. Let her know you’re going to stay on top of things at home, and you expect no less in the classroom. Request an IEP meeting each quarter, instead of annually like the school would prefer. Annual is required by the state - but anytime you or her teacher requests one, they have 30 days to set it up, and it’s mandatory on request. At an IEP meeting, they will review, discuss and modify her IEP as needed, with your input, and it can be done as often as you feel necessary until she’s getting what she needs.

Concur with Auntbeast and WhyNot’s explanation of a younger child in the public school system: both of my kids went to preschool starting at age 3, in a public school setting, because they were special needs (in Dweezil’s case, autism; in Moon Unit’s case, because of emotional / attention / impulse control issues).

Auntbeast: I don’t think your concerns are out of line. Other posters have suggested you discuss with the principal / teacher what the aide’s role will be, and I’d concur that’s a good way to go. Maybe frame it as just asking what classroom structure is like in general. Possibly the aide is there to do less-skilled tasks like getting tools for the kids, helping serve food, potty assistance where needed, etc. in which case her lack of English may be a total non-issue.

I would be a little concerned though that if she was having trouble understanding you, she might have trouble understanding the teacher.

As long as you are pleasant when you state your concerns, I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t let “the powers that be” know that you are worried. I would be concerned too. Ask your child’s speech teacher what she thinks. I’ll bet she backs you up.

If it makes you feel any better, my grandson had a speech problem at three which he outgrew naturally. and I think it was Einstein that didn’t talk much until he was four.

I’ll bet you’re a great mom!

Wednesday will be her first day. I have no doubt she will be thrilled to death to be with the other kids and daddybeast and I will be in the hallway, crying our eyes out and peeking through the small window in the door.

She has never been away from either of us as long as she will be on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and OMG they are snatching my baby!

It is almost a blessing my husband lost his job 2 weeks ago since we have been able to spend a ton of time with her, him much more than usual.

I have been my daughters advocate since conception. I’m not really known for well, not being opinionated, or for being quiet, or even being tactful. I tend to quote GWB when discussing issues regarding my daughter, You are either on her side, or you are with the terrorists, there is NO middle ground.

It is rather funny to watch adults deal with her, especially the “we can handle anything” sorts or the “what a precious little angel” type. She has a very assertive personality, even with a significant speech delay. It is odd to have such a ragingly independent child, not that I know any different, but you can tell she isn’t quite like other kids in that regard.

I absolutely love that aspect of her, she is so independent, fearless, inquisitive, loving and well, self-contained. I can’t wait to see what she turns into. If society doesn’t absolutely squash her, she is going to be one hell of a woman. Heck, she already is.

The sneaky little twerp figured out if I put her in time out and she told me she had to poo poo, I’d take her out and to the bathroom. TWICE I fell for it. Note: neither time did she actually go poo.

I really don’t think the school system stands a chance, they should just give her her own central american country now. Maybe a former soviet republic or something.