2 cute jokes, both sides of the aisle!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Just heard them, thought you lot would enjoy them:

A young boy, 3 or 4, is playing in the room with some adults, tv is on. When I picture of the President is shown, and the child is asked, he responds correctly; ‘Barack Obama!’ Everyone smiles, a minute later when asked, “Do you know what the President does?”, as silence hung in the room the boy proudly announce, ‘He approves this message!’
As Mitt and Anne step out of the wings onto the stage at a large glittering event, he says to her, “In your wildest dreams, did you ever see me and you, here doing something like this?” Anne responded, “You’re not in my wildest dreams!”
They are amusing, non partisan, appropriate for any company, what’s not to love?

Okay, so that out of the way, please feel free to let fly your own jokes from either side of the aisle!

2

::::::crickets:::::::

Seriously?

390 views and no one has another Obama or Romney joke to share?

How is that even possible?
*
::::::crickets::::::*

3

Those are the first two non-political Obama or Romney jokes I’ve ever heard.

4

Neither man really lends themselves to being joked about. The one about Obama focuses on a child’s perception of what the president does and the Romney joke emphasizes the man’s complete lack of everything.

5

The best Obama Joke is the ancient Onion Headline: Black Man Asks Nation for Change

6

There was also ‘Black Man Gets Nation’s Worst Job’.

The OP’s jokes aren’t exactly Obama or Romney jokes. The first could apply to any president (and pres candidate? I’m not USAian but don’t all the political ads end with ‘I’m X and I approve this message’?). The second would presumably apply to any candidate perceived as being an overstarched shirt.

7

Yeah, I’m going to have to push back on this a bit.

8

For what it’s worth, I found both those jokes in the OP amusing. :slight_smile:

9

I liked both jokes.

But I suck at telling jokes, so I didn’t have anything to contribute.
-D/a

10

A nun, a duck, and Barack Obama walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says:

“What is this, some kind of joke?”

11

Mitt Romney walks into a bar and shouts, “I’m going to run for president!”. The bartender takes one look at him and says:

“What is this, some kind of joke?”

12

A moderate, a tea partier, and neocon walk into a bar. The bartender says,

What’ll you have, Mitt?

13

I don’t think that was the intent of the joke. I assumed it meant that when Anne Romney was having her “wildest dreams” she was having fantasies about somebody like Brad Pitt. It’s a generic joke you could use about any married couple.

14

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “But how did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, "You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You’ve made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it’s MY fault.

15

@elbows, I didn’t even smile at your jokes.

16

Really? Not even one teensy weensy little smile? I wasn’t rolling on the floor busting a gut, but I definitely thought they were amusing!

17

They were amusing for sure. Yet I didn’t smile. Perhaps, I hate smiling.

18

Very nice. Not exactly a rib tickler, but witty.

19

If Barack Obama walked on water, the Fox News headline would be, “Obama can’t swim!”

20

snort