2 dates, then THE TALK, now what?

Actually I’ve known of two people this has happened to, one a close friend of mine (we’ve since grown apart) and one a friend of a friend.

The friend and I met in a grad school test prep exam class; after I’d known her for months she told me a story of how a few years back she’d paid her roommate diligently every month for rent and utilities. The landlord calls her screaming one day; he hadn’t received his rent for months.

Both of them took the roommate to court and eventually got paid because he parents were cosignors. She’d been blowing it on drugs of some sort. Jesus.

Other girl found out she was about to be evicted by paying her January rent early to the realty company before she went home for the semester break (she paid it like, mid December). Found out her roommate hadn’t paid them in 6 months and they were getting ready to evict them both. I’m not sure if this girl took the roommate to court or not; I think the realty company went after just the one roommate since she had all the money to begin with.

However, given this thread…I agree it’s a little toooo much of a coincidence in this situation with this girl.

Wow.

I was just coming in to post that everyone’s saying Amy is crazy, and they’re probably right… but that didn’t necessarily mean she’s crazy outside of this one incident. I was Amy when I was in college – warned a boy I was undateable, and I was (and messed with his head royally). But I don’t think I’m crazy now (uh, maybe you’d better ask my husband, but he seems to be pretty happy with me).

But, yeah, never mind that now! Another vote for crazy-all-the-time-or-close-enough, and glad you’re out of it.

Wow. Well, thank God you’re not getting sucked into it any further. Good for you.

So, what you’re saying is: you were acting crazy then, yes? Because yeah, boys probably shouldn’t have dated you if you were acting crazy. Heck, I’d say the fact that you adjusted how you act proves you see the err of your ways.

Maybe she is trying to ah, groom you, into considering an open relationship by bringing up her other flame so early?

I’d run far away if I were looking for something exclusive with her. But she sounds like a potential candidate for keeping things open, if that’s something you’re interested in.

Oh I hadn’t read the whole thread and I just noticed the eviction thing. Good thing you kept your junk out of teh crayz!

Good. Don’t look back while you’re running.

She has a sketchy place. I’m sure that the actual landlord is either a. a corporation who owns 100 other apartment buildings or b. someone who is not even living in NYC. Either way, they could fall through the cracks for a year.

Of course, this all assumes that she’s even telling me the truth about any of this. I’ve feeling extremely paranoid that she only came over Tuesday night to scope my place out :frowning:

As far as her rent falling through the cracks for a year, I highly doubt it. Collecting rent isn’t something that apartment owners and managers do whenever they get around to it after making sure that everybody’s toilets don’t leak and their air conditioning works. Collecting rent is the reason they’re in business.

I think she’s looking for a sucker - someone to support her (and probably only until she finds another sucker with more money) - and she went onto OKCupid to find some lonely soul to take advantage of, using the so-called boyfriend back home as a reason to avoid having to actually have sex with whoever falls into her trap. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t wind up hitting you up for money to go visit her so-called ex to assess how she really feels about the two of you, only never to be seen again. (She wouldn’t happen to speak with a Nigerian accent by any chance, would she? :D)

Anyway, I’d lay five-to-one odds that this girl is pretty attractive, and attractive girls with the right turn of mind can play lonely guys like a violin and get them to do all sorts of things that they wouldn’t normally do. Strip clubs are full of these types of women.

They can also have all sorts of baggage, like drug problems, or friends with drug problems, or a boyfriend with drug problems, any of whom can wind up needing a place to crash for a while, and guess whose place they’ll wind up in. Then the next thing you know you’re living with a bunch of drug addicts that you can’t get rid of and worried all the time that the cops are gonna raid the place. Or she talks you into letting her male friend who is really her boyfriend move in until he gets paid or something and the next thing you know she’s banging him in your home and you get stuck with letting them stay, maybe even by dint of the threat of violence.

In other words, all kinds of bad shit that you’ve never imagined can happen when you let a vagabond move in with you, and until you know a hell of a lot more about her life (and “rent” situation) I think think the logical assumption is that a vagabond is what she is.

Disclaimer: No, I’m not speaking from personal experience. At least not of my own. But I’ve known some guys, and well…let’s just say that pretty, cold-hearted and manipulative girl + lonely guy = doormat. Broke, heartbroken doormat. Bitter doormat. Self-loathing doormat. You don’t wanna be that guy and neither does he doormat.

So in short, proceed with extreme caution. And by ‘extreme caution’, I mean “run like hell the other way”. :smiley: No matter what her story is, too many things just don’t add up.

Mr. Locksmith is your friend. Heed his advice, go with his suggestions about upgrades. Tip him well for the Holidays.

Block yourself a very special girlfriend; face your PC bright.
From now on, your troubles will be out of sight…

Because the mods probably wouldn’t be allowed to participate?

Anyway, before I got to the second page all my alarms were going off too. Then I read about the eviction notice. I’m only surprised that she brought that up so quickly. I’d have thought she would string you along for a few more dates before playing the “Ooops, looks like I’m going to need money/place to stay tonight.”

I think everyone warning you that this is a set up is right. I also think that there is a very small chance she’s being honest, but if there wasn’t that small chance, the whole con wouldn’t work, would it?

But you were in college - Amy is thirty years old. You can be excused on immaturity (and maybe the last dregs of pubescent hormonal insanity). She should have matured past this sort of game playing by now.

It’s a rare and wise man who lets the big head tell the little head to shut up. Good for you, fusoya.

fusoya, as you say, you’re paranoid about whether she’s telling you the truth about anything by now (and rightly so), so I’d say this one’s dead in the water whether she’s conning you or not. Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea. :slight_smile:

Run away, and only date women who are *not *drama queens. Your life will be much more relaxed for doing so.

Edit: Oops, should have read that it’s over. Good thing.

I someone who was the culprit in the rent scam. I don’t know if it went on for a year, but it did for a long time. She grabbed the nasty letters before the roommate could see them.

Still, very suspicious. fusoya should just tell her that the mystical Mark would surely be happy to take her in. And I’d advise him to count the silver.

IMHO, she is setting you up and the whole other guy story was part of the set up.

She probably knows you like her. Well, she is un-dateable because she is poor and there is this other guy she ‘may’ have feelings for. Such guy may or may not exist. However, suddenly she is evicted and this would be your chance to swoop in and rescue her giving you the edge over the other guy. Your opportunity to win her with money for rent or moving or whatever it is she is looking for you to do. She wont ask for money, she will let you offer it. The insistance that she pay for her own two dollar slice of pizza was proving that she is honorable and pays her own way.

I am glad that you are seeing through some of these classic moves.

When dealing with pros and cons, remember that the pros will cost you less.

Yeah, right…like I read stuff before I give my opinion!
Best wishes,
hh

She’s been banished to Staten Island. I’m safe for the time being.

Banished?