I don’t know how to pit – I don’t have a vocabulary in any of the languages: Bosnian, Russian or English – but, at the same time, I don’t see where else to put this.
It’s not up for a debate, it’s not a mundane issue, and also, my opinion may not be all that humble because of the brutality and inhumanity contained therein.
I’m talking about another mass grave near my hometown in north-west Bosnia filled with innocent men, women and children killed during summer of 1992.
There are so many things that bother me about this and the order in which I’ll write about them does not reflect its importance, rather a muddled notion of clarity I might have in my head, ignoring for a second demonstrable incoherence in written English (damn you, articles).
First is a general idea, a blanket statement of sorts, where 20 years have passed since the mass murder of innocent men, women and children. For an operation of such sort, one would think there would be a number of people involved in organizing, executing, collecting and burying innocent men, women and children that you have to wonder how it was possible for Bosnian Serb community in my hometown, for 20 years, to keep a lid on something like this. I don’t think it was a sort of conspiracy of silence where each and every one who was involved or knew about it swore to keep their mouth shut. I don’t think it was a medical condition of sorts, a collective amnesia where with each year people who were involved or knew about it were confused if they dreamed about it or saw it once in a movie. What has happened, most likely, is that everyone who was involved or knew about it is in a mindset that dictates the following – they deserved it and it was a good riddance therefore nothing to feel sorry about and then, as a result of guilt, speak about it. In last 20 years there were found many other mass graves, one of them in 2005 with the dead body of my older brother and others I knew really well. This idea of how is this possible started fermenting over this period of time only to fully mature with this last one that, as per last count has close to a 400 bodies of innocent men, women and children. This is no aberration, not an anomaly – this is who the rest of people in former Yugoslavia have to deal with – SERBS, the animals.
Second thing… my niece, who was two and a half old when her father was murdered, had her share of misery trying to connect the dots of her family’s ill-fated agony and breakdown over the loss, the loss that we put to some closure in 2005 when we finally buried my brother’s remains. I thought I’ve seen everything until I read a letter written by her best friend whose father is most likely in this latest mass grave, a girl who was also two and half years old when her father was murdered along with many others and whose agony may go a few notches down after identification process is complete. It is a heart wrenching letter that confirms to me that it’s not just the dead who don’t have their lives, it is also the living who are forced, by these inhumane acts committed by Serbs, to not inhabit the lives they were destined to but the lives filled with misery and agony.
It’s a pain that trickles down through the generations and it’s very hard to avoid it. It is very hard to deal with it. Irrational anger, depression, lack of empathy and emotional response and other psychological irregularities is the norm in Bosnian diaspora and people who stayed. It takes an effort to act normal and it’s a daily struggle.
In the end, all I can say is God damn you Serbs – you’ll burn in Hell forever, for all the deeds including even a day of your silence, let alone 20 years.