[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo]
I’m so pissed of at myself that I can’t control my own eating. That I don’t get satisfaction from anything but the worst things - fried chicken, chips, crisps, pizza, icecream, chocolate. I start with the best of intentions. Salad, grilled chicken, low-cal sweets for cravings. It goes good for a few weeks. Sometimes up to a month. Then something snaps.
[/QUOTE]
This just strike a chord with me. I could have written this at any point during my 20 years of failed dieting. I could lose a little weight, and give up. If I lost any weight, I would always gain it all back and more weight. I identify very closely what you said about your “best intentions” - salad, grilled chicken, low cal sweets. That’s what I always thought a diet was too. I also ate a lot of “fake foods” - diet this, sugar free that, no fat everything. None of those foods ever satisfied me.
It was punishment, deprivation, nothing that tasted good, something I hated and couldn’t wait for it to be OVER so I could go back to eating nachos and Mint Milanos.
I was always hungry, always miserable - I would always snap too. I used to think I didn’t have any willpower, now I realize I was starving myself because I used to restrict calories so harshly. Of course my body’s will to eat is stronger that my will to restict calories - that is our body’s gift, to keep us alive in a state of deprivation. Did a prehistoric woman gathering roots turn up her nose at a mammoth? Why should I be angry at my body for doing what I would ultimately want it to do if I were truely in a state of deprivation - slowing my metabolism, cannabalizing my muscle and holding onto ever bit of stored fat to keep me alive as long as possible.
Two years ago, I finally had to accept I had terrible eating habits. I finally had to accept I had to change how I ate forever if I really wanted to lose weight and keep it off. I went cold turkey on sugar. I looked at how I ate and made little changes that I could stick with forever (switch to whole wheat pasta, add more vegetables, reduce butter, cut down on booze, eat more protein throughout the day).
Quitting sugar was the biggest thing, it made a huge difference. A lot of weird cravings and bingy tendences disappeared over night. Once my tongue wasn’t numbed by sugar, I was amazed by how delicious good food could taste. Baked sweet potatoes, roasted cherry tomatoes, whole wheat toast with natural peanut butter, greek yogurt with blackberries - so good.
I pack healthy lunches every day - but it’s not a plain salad with a squeeze of lemon, it could be a turkey wrap on a whole wheat tortilla with hummus, red onion and lettuce and tomato. I go to the grocery store 2-3 times a week. I cut up vegetables on Sunday nights and make baggies for snacks at work. I buy produce in season (sad to see cherry season end). I absolutely adore the food I eat now. Before, I only liked big muffins for breakfast, I only wanted pizza for lunch, M&Ms out of the snack machines, venti lattes with whip, fettucini alfredo, piles of buttery garlic toast. Every day, I am amazed that these other foods are JUST as good and satisfying - I don’t miss the other food at all.
I’m not a dietician or nutritionist or a scientist. I can only interpret what happened through the prism of my own experience. I started “dieting” as a chunky feeling 15 year old at 140 lbs. I ended up a 200 lb 35 year old. Dieting made me fat. I always felt like an out of control, no will power loser. Restricting calories, eating food I didn’t like, it usually ended with my head in the bottom of a bag of Lay’s Salt and Vinegar potato chips. Switching to whole foods, switching to eating for my long term health, well, it’s like a miracle happened to me. It’s more work, some social awkwardness when I turn down birthday cake for someone I don’t really know at work, but totally and completely worth it. I lost nearly 70 lbs, 10 inches from my waist, from a tight size 18 to a size 6.
I know I typed so much, I just want to say that your problem may not be willpower, anymore than my problem was willpower. My problem was overly restricting calories, depriving myself and setting myself up for failure - a starving body WILL eat. Ironically, I was only successful losing weight when I started allowing myself to eat. Instead of “eat less, move more” I started “eating less bad foods, eating more good foods, moving more.” I am in radiant good health, blissfully happy, energetic and look awesome in clothes. I wish I could bottle my experience and give it to anyone who’s ever been unhappy with their weight.
Before and After Pictures
