Baseball season is only two weeks away; yes, the TRUE start of spring is so tantalizingly close. It’s time to make some predictions!
Here are mine, which as always have been carefully thought out using only my huge brain and the most modern analysis and are probably mostly wrong:
American League East
- New York Yankees
- Toronto Blue Jays
- Boston Red Sox
- Tampa Bay Devil Rays
- Baltimore Orioles
The Yankees are still heavily loaded but the pitching has some holes; I think they’ll go an uncharacteristically normal 91-71 and still win. Toronto has scads of offense, but the rotation is two good pitchers and eight guys who might be good if you catch them in the right month. Boston is being picked by many to win 100 games, but I just have a bad feeling. Tampa Bay is still bad but at least going up. Baltimore is horrible and Miguel Tejada will be on another team by August.
American League Central
- Cleveland Indians
- Minnesota Twins
- Chicago White Sox
- Detroit Tigers
- Kansas City Royals
I guess it’s sort of shocking I’m picking the defending league champions to finish fourth, but it’ll bne a decent fourth (83-79) and anyway I think 2006 was heavily flukey. Cleveland is loaded with talent but is no sure thing; Minnesota still has a pitching staff to die for. Chicago will be good but no great. Kansas City is a lost cause for some time to come.
American League West
- Oakland Athletics
- Los Angeles Angels of Orange County Anaheim Southern California Just Off I-405
- Texas Rangers
- Seattle Mariners
Knowing the A’s, they’ll barely miss Barry and will find pitching somewhere and win 95 games. The Angels have the money to compete with the A’s but not nearly as many brains and I’ll pick brains over money. Texas and Seattle could finish 4-3 instead of 3-4 but few people outside of the Dallas and Seattle metroplexes will care.
National League East
- New York Mets
- Atlanta Braves
- Philadelphia Phillies
- Florida Marlins
- Washington National Capitals, or whatever it is they’re called
This division could go to any of the 1-4 teams but New York strikes me as being the most talented so I’ll go with them; I don’t think the Phillies are as good as they played the last seven weeks of 2006, while I don’t think the Braves are NEARLY as bad as people seem to think. Florida, who the hell knows. Washington was brutal last year and then lost their best player.
National League Central
- St. Louis Cardinals
- Houston Astros
- Milwaukee Brewers
- Chicago Cubs
- Pittsburgh Pirates
- Cincinnati Reds
The Chicago Cubs are being picked by a lot of people to win the Central. I’m just absolutely floored by this; I can’t believe actual, professional baseball writers can be that dumb. The Cubs were a TERRIBLE team last year, and as good as Alfonso Soriano can be, if you think he and Ted Lilly can somehow make Chicago 200 runs better than they were in 2006, you’re crazier than Ted Lilly is. Pete Rose will bet on it. St. Louis is really the only team in this division I think is worth a crap, although I will not be hugely surprised if the Brewers surprise some people.
National League West
- Los Angeles Dodgers
- San Diego Padres
- Arizona Diamondbacks
- San Francisco Giants
- Colorado Rockies
The Dodgers and Padres were tied in wins last year but the Dodgers were a year younger on average so I’ll give them the edge, not that that means much. Juan Pierre will be more valuable in LA than he was in Wrigley. Arizona’s got some talent there. San Francisco will be interesting only to watch Steroid Man go for 756, which I honestly hope he doesn’t reach for the good of baseball. I have a feeling the Rockies will never, ever win anything as long as the franchise exists.