It’s not about the alcohol itself but your relationship with alcohol. The fact that you think alcohol in itself will make you happy (which briefly, chemically, it can do), you’re not using it in a safe, responsible manner.
There are ways to make friends and keep relationships without drugs or alcohol. There are ways to alleviate stress and relax without alcohol. Explore those ways independent of alcohol. It’s once you have those other avenues that you can even begin to think about re-evaluating your relation with substance and alcohol because if drugs are your only coping mechanism, then there’s no path to moderation.
I will just tell you that the first time my sister went to a dryout clinic (for coke) they advised her not to drink because that would lower her inhibition and make it harder to stay off the coke. The second time she went through it she listened to their advice. Now, 30 years later, she drinks with caution and stays away from the coke. YMMV.
You should probably just give up on having a social life. Its overrated. Be a non-drugged up loner that plays World of Warcraft all day, its not a bad life actually
Agreed. Going out with friends and talking and laughing is fun; I do that fairly regularly without drinking a drop (well, I have a sip of my husband’s beer). If your friends aren’t interested in you because you don’t drink/drug, you need better friends.
What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to do for a career? What are your hobbies and interests? What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning? During your rehab, did they discuss these things with you, how to create a whole, pleasant life for yourself?
This too. I like to read; I make no apologies for the fact that I would take a good book over a party any day of the week.
Why is that better than being drunk or doing drugs?
Seriously though. The reality is, the social lives of a lot of college age people does revolve around drinking and/or drugs. And it’s not like the hot girls are staying at home being sober, not partying it up at the bars and fraternities with their hot friends. Grabbing a couple beers with some buddies, playing Asshole or Three Man with your dorm mates or having your friends feed you shots on your 21st birthday is part of the college experience. So it does kind of suck that you can’t do that stuff.
I may be reading too much into it but as a recovering alcholic addict myself I see a pattern. In high school you had a brief period of successful relationships with cool kids. You experienced a new feeling of power and popularity and you got a bit high off of this new feeling. Drugs and alcohol are the only part of this experience you can buy off the shelf as you attempt to recreate it. I like to refer back to that Whitney Houston song " The Hero Lies in You". Re creating past successful scenarios is usually a recipe for disaster that a lot of addicts and alcoholics seem to get stuck in.
I taught myself to appreciate my own accomplishments and gradually became my own biggest fan. When you study and build your character and work habits you are actually building a man. Building a good foundation will stay with you for a lifetime and is a very attractive feature in a man, attractive to women and other rmen with good character. It just doesn't happen overnight, believe in yourself and where you are going, be patient.
It sounds like the biggest issue is that you’re lonely and would like to have friends. As someone who is a non-drinker married to someone else who never drinks, I can assure you that it is possible to make friends without alcohol, and that life can be more interesting when you’re mentally present for it than if you’re drinking it away.
What ARE your interests and hobbies that don’t involve alcohol? Do you know? If you’ve spent most of your time studying, working, and doing drugs you may not have even had the chance to develop those interests and the first step may be trying new things to figure out what you enjoy.
Once you have an idea about what interests you, you should be able to find guys who also have that interest that you can relate to without using alcohol to meet them.
Sign up for a few things on http://www.meetup.com
If you’re an intellectual, have you ever looked into if you can get into Mensa?
You may want to look at groups that do outdoorsy things like hiking since physical activity is good for your mental health too.
In my city, we have book clubs, philosophy discussion groups, etc. that would appeal to someone with intellectual interests.
I agree with HoneyBadgerDC. Romanticizing the high is stupid. It’s like revisiting a crazy ex. There is a reason you don’t keep hanging with crazy, no matter how fun you remember him or her being. If you believe that drinking is an answer to anything important in life, then you’re being conned. Personality from a bottle is lame and weak. Stepping up and creating the life you want is authentic and strong. Just don’t get confused about where that strength comes from. It comes from you, not any other outside source.
[I feel like the only way that I’ve ever had any kind of non-sexual relationship with another human being has been somehow mediated by drugs and alcohol.](I feel like the only way that I’ve ever had any kind of non-sexual relationship with another human being has been somehow mediated by drugs and alcohol.) This is probably true- but it doesn’t have to be. Drinking alcohol is required for getting drunk. Drinking in any other situation is optional - it’s not like going out on Friday night instead of Wednesday or shooting pool or watching a football game requires you to drink. A lot of people do drink in those situations but a lot of people don’t. and often for reasons having nothing to do with addiction.
You are proposing to medicate yourself with an addictive drug, to fix things that have nothing to do with it, after substantially damaging your life with drug abuse.
It seems obvious to me that your proposal is very likely to be disastrous, and that it is at times like this moment in your life that it’s most important that you not use.
Don’t drink. If you just did, stop immediately. You should be way more frightened right now than you are making yourself sound.
If you go ahead with this, in the future you will very probably be able to look back at this moment as the fork in your life where it went really wrong.
You could always try some young people’s meetings of AA or NA. The ones in my area rock. They are always going dancing, camping, hiking, bowling, playing Frisbee, having coffee, socializing. They have a shit ton of fun in sobriety and really care for and support each other, in a way that the older folks just don’t have time for.