If you were a headline writer for a major newspaper, what would your headline be the day after today’s events on “24”? Keep in mind your have to make reference to (1) a nuclear attack on the U.S., (2) an assassination attempt by bomb on the President, (3) the capture of several nukes, (4) the killing of a terrorist ring, (5) an incapacitating stroke by the President, (6) the Vice-President taking over the reigns of the Government, and whatever else Jack does in the next four hours.
“Father of Anna Nicole’s Baby Identified”
On behalf of 99% of the Dopers who will read this thread, I want to curse FatBaldGuy for beating us to what each one of us was going to say.
Damn you!
New Push for Gay Marriage
AMERICA UNDER ATTACK
Panic in the Streets. Thousands Dead
Sanjaya new American Idol Winner!
Damn, Jack!
Read This Newpaper Or Millions Will Die!
Jack Bauer Saves Day Yet Again
Prevails Despite Allegations of Shark-Jumping, Dancing With The Stars
Sanjaya Still At Large
Something like TERROR IN AMERICA
Dozens killed in nuclear blast, Vice President in power
Or else American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie.
That Time of Year Again
Nation Inexplicably Experiences Multiple Concurrent Tragedies for Sixth Year in a Row
ALL THAT STUFF THAT
HAPPENED YESTERDAY
THAT YOU’VE ALREADY SEEN ON TV
Plus Dave Barry’s Column and a Sudoko
The New York Post:
Pansy Palmer!
President Hesitant To Strike Back As Fayed’s Country Attacks
Daily News:
Super Prez!!!
Palmer Secures Nukes While Surviving A Deadly Bomb Blast
WA-
Now, take this concept one step farther…
Imagine if the plots of 24 and Early Edition are combined with the basic question here… and Jack Bauer has to save everyone’s ass yet again… while simultaneously thwarting the efforts of the kid from “Early Edition” to prevent the deaths of the people Jack’s forced to kill to prevent major catastrophe.
With the Cat? And the Red Haired Woman, who may be the same creature? Jack’s a dead man, metaphorically speaking.
Unbe-fuckin’-leavable!
National Inquirer:
Secret Government Technology Shocker!
Governement Agents Travel Anywhere in Los Angeles in Less Than 10 Minutes!
Black SUVs Purportedly Contain Alien Technology to Bend Time, Space
It’s funny you should mention this because the New York Post ran an issue today with a split cover.
One picture showed the father of Anna Nicole’s Baby playing with his kid and the other one was about the Virgina Tech shootings. :smack: