29 year old man and a 18 year old woman

Is this wrong? What if the relationship is just about sex, but the woman is pretty inexperienced? She might also think this is more just a casual thing even though nothing has been promised or implied.

This just a hypothetical.

If she thinks it’s more and he knows she thinks its more and doesn’t correct that impression, then it is implied.

I think stage of life matters more than age in this case. 18 year old high school student? Creepy. 18 year old with a job and an apartment or 18 year old college student? Maybe ok.

No, it’s not wrong. Doesn’t matter if she’s in high school or not. She’s an adult, and it’s her business.

If my eighteen year old daughter (who lives at home) tried to date a 29 year old, it would hit the fan (and so would the 29 year old).

I would hope most 29 year-olds wouldn’t have much in common with an 18 year-old. Granted, I’m probably thinking of twenty-nine as an age by which you’ve accumulated a bit of real Life Experience, learned to interview while hungover and also learned not to continue getting hangovers, held grown-up jobs, paid bills, learned to fix stuff, possibly been married, perhaps bred…and 18? Very few 18 year-olds would have any real idea of what that’s about.

I can’t imagine not giving a friend or coworker hell if they said “Oh, the new girl I’m dating? Name’s Jennifer, she’s 18, has the best smile, etc.” It’s icky.

It was okay when I did it. But the woman in question was out on her own, and we were both students at the same school. And… she was mature for her age; I wasn’t, we were closer together than our ages. (In terms of relationship experience, she was more mature than me in some ways.).

Even so, the relationship did not last long.

An 18-year-old living with her parents? Probably not.

I still like younger women; but these days, my definition of ‘younger’ is ‘thirty and up’. :slight_smile:

I don’t think it’s naturally wrong or anything, but I can say that as a 29 year old guy, I would never do it. Hell, I broke up with a 21 year old when I was 25 because our worlds were growing even further apart than they already were and it wasn’t working out for me.

True, but I can think of a lot of ‘maybes’ on why they work. Maybe they are very sexually compatible. Maybe they have the same goals in life. Maybe they like the same show that is on at 3 AM on some public acess channel.

[I’m in a long-term relationship, just to clarify for the rest of my post]

I would think it would really have to do with many, many factors. As a substitute teacher, for example, I’ve never humored the notion of dating an 18 year-old high school student. But an 18 year old I met doing volunteer work? maybe. Or an 18 year old who rents a room in the same house as I did.

My current girlfriend and I share a 7-year age difference, which isn’t all that removed from the OP’s scenario. I met her when she was 19 and I was 25, and we met through an online dating site. To be honest, I felt more uncomfortable about it than herself, or anybody else. Btw all of her 19-year old friends also have 24/25 year old boyfriends: My best friend (24) is now with her friend (same age as she) and she has another friend with the same age difference. So that definitely helps make it feel less skeevy.

Exactly. If they don’t have anything in common, then it’s not a real relationship. If they DO have things in common, the 29 year old is either immature, or the 18 year old is extraordinary.

My gut response: ick ick ick.

I have a 25 year old friend that has a 17 year old gf…it’s no big deal.

What if it was your 18 year old son dating a 29 year old woman? I’m wondering if gender factors into this (I would say ‘yes’ in terms of visceral responses).

I lost my virginity to a woman almost 10 years my senior, btw.

Me too. We should start a club.

BTW, we’re about to celebrate our tenth anniversary — and we’re thirteen years apart in age.

I am thinking of more of a casual sex thing than a relationship.

A good question. I have a son in his early twenties. If he dated a 29 year old at eighteen, I would have had big concerns. Why would a mature adult want to date someone out of high school? If my son tried to date an 18 year old girl when his is 29, then I would be very upset.

My wife is eight years my senior. I have often said that since we were going to have sex anyways, I sure would have liked to meet her when I was fifteen :).

If for no other reason, most 18 year guys can go all night long.

What can I say? By the time my mother was 19 she had given birth to me and my father was 10 years her senior. I wouldn’t say it was morally wrong. Though when I was 22 I dated a girl who was 18 (still in high school), but the relationship couldn’t go anywhere because we were at two very different places in our life and had little in common. She was impressed that I took her out to dates in restaurants with real napkins. Cheap too, she was a vegetarian.


I’m 29, soon to be 30. Although I often do like guys who are younger, more than five years younger strikes me as really implausable for most women my age. Sure, we’re in enlightened times where it’s no longer expected that the guy is older, but that big of an age difference is probably significantly skewed towards older men/younger women.

As for the OP, it could work, if she was pretty mature for her age. Or he’s rather indulgent of her age-appropriate immaturity.

However “She might also think this is more just a casual thing even though nothing has been promised or implied” is a big no. If there’s a chance that she thinks it’s going to be more than casual, it’s not going to work. It’ll end in a messy fashion. Think about your emotional maturity at 18 for a baseline :eek:

I used to know a guy who started dating a much younger girl.

Actually, he did that a lot. I was 19 when I met him, he was 28. When last I saw him, he was days away from 30 and now dating an 18 y/o. This was 2003.

Last I heard, a couple months ago, they were still together and had just had a child together. Of course. looking back, he was a rather immature guy. The longest running job he had was 6 months and he was always late on rent, partied like crazy and basically acted like he was out on his own for the first time in his life. He was also recently divorced.

Don’t know how much he’s changed, but he was basically on the same level as an 18 y/o at that time.