When I was 19, my bf was 25, but a) it was a very serious relationship (we were together for about three years); and b) the age difference felt fairly significant to both of us.
Also, most 18 year-old women aren’t emotionally in a place to do a “casual sex” relationship the way a 29-y-o (man or woman, but esp. man) is.
Ick, ick, and shame on you.
I know a guy in his late 20s/early 30s who periodically shows up at parties with 18-year-old dates. Frankly, it’s creepy. My impression is that he likes dating very young women because they’re more easily impressed and don’t expect as much as women his own age. Also, he can get them booze.
Therein lies a major problem. While 16 is the legal age of consent in most of the U.S., it’s 21 for alcohol. So boinkin’ your teeny-bopper friend won’t get you in trouble, but giving her a glass of wine with your home-cooked meal can get you in some deep shit.
What hypothetical? It’s real life for a friend of mine. Well, was, it’s been a while since we were 18.
She was in it for the sex, having a lot of energy to burn due to the situation at home (Dad had brain tumors, forcing her to forget about college to shoulder up the shack). He had recently broken up with his gf of 10 years after they’d realized that all they’d had in common for several of those years was once-a-week sex.
How the relationship evolved is another question altogether (those particular two are married, have teenage twins), but so long as both parts are being straightforward and neither is playing the other, I’ve got no problem with it.
I don’t have a problem with it on the surface. I do see a difference bwteen that and a 28 YO girl and a 39 YO man, for example. I’d have absolutely no problem with the latter.
Honestly, I wish more and more teen girls put marriage later and later. Personally IMO marriage should be in your mid- or late- 20’s. So if you take marriage out of the picture, I think it’s not a bad learning experience at all.
Actually, wouldn’t it be more understandable if a 29 year old woman dated an 18 year old guy? Some women bring their maternal instincts into their relationship, and I can see where some of those women might like to date somebody younger, so they feel more like a motherly figure than if they dated somebody older.
Not every “relationship” has marriage as a goal. But if your “hypothetical” friend is out for sex–with no possibilty of friendship–tell him to hire a pro.
Sounds as though most women are wise to him. Is he looking for a younger one–hoping she’s not too bright?
When I started dating my wife, she was 18 and I was 28. There came a two month period after my next birthday where we were an 18/29 couple, and things seem to have worked out just fine.
It was a little odd for me a year later when I was a 30-year-old who was dating a girl who was 19, but it wasn’t hard to laugh it all off.
Funny thing was that before she and I started dating, there were girls older than her that I rejected as being too young. But, my wife always more mature than her years would account for. Guess I’ll just have to deal with always having a wife 10 years younger than me. 
When I was 19 I started to have a casual sex relationship with a 29 year old. I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted to have fun. I didn’t care what anyone thought. It didn’t really work out as I was planning.
We’re getting married January 5th. Somehow a two week fling turned into a two year relationship. But if it hadn’t, that would have been fine with us, too. It just wasn’t how the cookie crumbled.
I think it totally depends on the people. I mean there are plenty of 29 year olds that shouldn’t be with other 29 year olds, and there are plenty of people who have a much smaller age difference, with it being more creepy. Like a 21 year old and a 17 year seems really sketchy to me. Not sure why, just something seems unequal about that. At 19, I had a degree, an apartment and a job. As my fiancee says, “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage, babe.” Not really sure what he means.
Excepting statutory prohibitions, age is what you make of it. GF and I are 8 years apart, she the younger.
I’m 29, and I have to say that the idea of having a relationship with an 18-year-old feels slightly… off. Not icky or immoral, but just… not quite right. I’m sure there are thousands of 18-year-olds out there that I wouldn’t have trouble having a relationship with in real life, but the abstract concept doesn’t feel good. I remember what I was like at 18, and I was a totally different person. Put me and the 18-year-old me in the same room, and we wouldn’t like each other much. He’d think I was slow and stupid, and I’d think he was a snotty know-it-all.
When I was 18 I tried to date someone around that age (wouldn’t tell me the actual age), but it didn’t work. He was too scary.
If the girl is inexperienced, which I take to mean that she doesn’t have a lot of ‘mileage’ as far as becoming a responsible adult (ie, job, taxes, place of their own, etc), I’d be VERY uncomfortable with it. This is because 29 year olds and 18 year olds are generally understood to be at very different places in their lives.
Same if the genders were reversed. Ick.
My wife is ten years younger than I am. Means nothing. However I was 18 when she was 8. Then it might have mattered. When I am 90 she will be 80.
Yeah, but that includes 18 y/o guys as well as girls. I can see an 18 y/o girl being attracted to a 20 y/o guy because he has more on his mind than tits and beer. There’s a subset of college freshmen and sophomore girls who can dress, act and talk on a sophisticated enough level that they could pass in a 29 y/o’s world (as long as they don’t have to show ID at a bar). Why should they pass up a chance to learn from someone older, especially if they’re tired of stepping in puke on their way out of frat parties?
Well said Gonzo.
My 21-yr old daughter is dating a 29-yr old guy. It’s not about their ages, but how they treat each other. I don’t think any of us can help who we fall in love with. My sainted father, for example (77 in July), is living with a lady 15 yrs his junior. Who am I to judge?
A very old and jaded expression is “age is just a number”. At the end of the day, it’s still true.
:o Y’all know I meant 29, right? :smack:
Uhm…Honestly not seeing the problem, assuming the girl is vaguely responsible.
My husband and I are 14 years apart. He’s 36, I’m 22. We get along great.
My parents are 14 years apart. My dad was 32 when he met my 18 year old mother. They just celebrated their 23rd marriage anniversary.
May/December relationships have never really squicked me out, unless it was like, drawing the line by being someone prepubescent or under the age of consent. Whatever floats your boat.
And if my husband tried to stop anything his daughters did when they were 18, he’d be hearing from them, that’s for sure. At least, if they weren’t living with us. If they had their own places and jobs, in my opinion, they’re adults and have the right to make their own mistakes.
As a high schooler living with their parents, they do not - their job is to graduate. THEN they can go make real world mistakes.
~Tasha
So long as they’re consenting adults, who cares? I know all the excuses people make to justify why it’s “wrong,” but they’re a load of horseshit. If who a person is, is what matters in a relationship, then age is meaningless. Sure an 18 year old is going to do stupid crap, but then again, so is everyone else. It is better to love one another than anything else.
I think this is your answer. Age is irrelevant, it’s how it all occurred, if you’re doing the same classes or met somewhere that’s fine, I can even concede that one offs would occur and are natural. But someone who does it over and over I’d be a little worried.
Though the guy mentioned just sounds like a loser who is being used for his id card in return he’s getting sex that the girls don’t really care that much about.
Here in australia we’ve had a couple of cases where a female high school teacher has had relations with students. One judge even let one teacher off without sentence (!!!), the state appealed and she went to prison. When she got out and appeared on TV and was mortified to be compared to paedophiles.
A teacher or anyone presiding over a person in a position of trust is a different story, that should never happen.