… the man is a well-known politician, a surgeon, and just declared his candidacy for lieutenant governor. They have been dating for three years, since the girl was eighteen. It’s the third story here.
Not sure why, but this has a real ewww factor for me. I’m not sure I could vote for him. Makes me glad that Louisville isn’t in Kentucky. 
How does it make it worse that the man is a public figure? He’s being honest and aboveboard with it, not dodging the light of publicity as if he was doing something wrong (which would indicate something wrong…). Surely the eww factor, if you feel it, would be present no mater what field of work he did.
To me, the public figure part makes it worse because it means that the man is in a position of power–at least theoretically. Therefore, the woman could be attracted to him because of his power, rather than because of his looks or personality. It also makes me worry a little about how long the relationship will last. And thirdly, 21 is a little young to commit oneself to a life in the public eye. (I am going to studiously ignore the large number of people well under 21 who have committed themselves in various ways to life in the public eye and sometimes succeeded just fine).
Tess may well have other reasons for feeling like the public figure stuff makes it worse. But those are the reasons why I cringed a little when I saw this headline.
She’s an adult. I don’t see what the problem is.
So she doesn’t have the right to decide who she wishes to marry at 21? How old must she be before making that decision?
I can understand the ‘ew’ on a personal level–I wouldn’t have dated a 43-year-old man at 18, myself–but as long as they’re both of age and happy together, hey, what the heck.
(The fact that he’s being open and honest about a potentially publicity-damaging issue would make me more likely to vote for him, if he had a good platform…)
She has the right to decide who she wishes to marry at 21. I have the right to think she’s awfully young to be getting married. In theory, if I knew her, I would have the right to try to discourage her from this relationship, but would probably not try very hard.
I have to laugh. As you know, I am in Bangkok. My Thai wife and I are about the same age. But there are many May-December relationships like that here. Quite a few of my colleagues and drinking companions are in their 40s, 50s and on up, with wives or girlfriends in their 20s. Many of them are NOT dirty old men (although admittedly a few are). It’s rather a non-issue here.
I still remember, though, one particular Vietnam vet I spent an evening drinking with in JUSMAG here in Bangkok back about 1988. One of those vets you ran into all the time back then who just could not go home, or if he did was back here pronto. I never saw the guy again, but he was 65 and claimed to be on his third 18-year-old wife. Said he divorced them once they got too old, “old” being about 25. That’s quite extreme for me. Maybe he was making it up, but you had to be there; I believed him. His is NOT a typical case, despite what you see in the Western media, so that’s why he’s stuck in my mind all these years. Would be in his 80s now, so might not be around at all anymore.
I hope the story in that last paragraph is not offensive to anyone. I do NOT condone that sort of behavior, and I don’t have friends like him. I was in JUSMAG for businesses purposes, and there we just sort of started drinking at the bar they have there. One of the more memorable characters I’ve met here for a few reasons, even though I met him only that once.
I figure Grover and Frances Cleveland got past it.
I was once in a relationship with a greater difference in ages. What’s the problem?
I, personally can see where the OP is coming from. There is an inherent power imbalance on such age variations, especially when one is so young. To have political power on top of that? Just seems a tad, well, creepy.
Ok, some relationships like that work. Heck, many relationships don’t even without that kind of imbalance, more power to them, but the wonderful thing about this great country is that we can say “ewww!” to anything we want.
Then again, I have a thing about being someones “thing.” I would hate being a common stereotype and wonder if it was the stereotype or just me. I often think the same sort of thing when I see a couple where either one of them is easily classified. If I was the girl in the OP, I would always wonder if it was my age or me. I guess in 20 years she’ll know.
Examples: Black guys with white girls with blonde hair
Old guys with Asian women
Superskinny guys with heavy women
Short guys that are with women just short enough to be able to wear shoes with a heel and still be shorter than them.
I know we all have preferences, I am just overly paranoid about being someones fetish.
I too think it says something about the 46 year old who is not interested in women his own age. Even now as I get older (29) I find that women near my age are much more attractive than any 18 or even 21 year old could be, that’s just creepy. They’re still kids.
For me, the eww factor is less for 46/21, than for 43/18. Obviously, it’s none of my business, even as a voter, since I don’t live there, but 21 is much more of an adult than 18, for most people. If they met now and were dating, it wouldn’t seem so bad, since they’re both adults, but 18 is still a whole lot “kid” to me.
I find it kind of disturbing because my dad’s 45 and I’m 22. I can’t imagine dating someone older than my father.
Hmmm. Read Crime and Punishment.
The link says it is the first marriage for both partners. It is not like he dumped his 46 year old wife for a 21 year old hottie.
Age is just a number. They are both adults, and free to hang with whoever they like. I have no problem with this.
[backstory]When I was 19 I dated an older woman. The term did not exist then, but call her a MILF. She taught me a lot. I do not regret it at all. Ah, Foxy Roxie If I could just find you again. [/backstory]
My husband was born the year I graduated high school. Of course, we didn’t meet until he was 30, but the age difference was much less by then. I was 100% older at age 18, but only 60% older when we met. Now, I’m only 43% older. He’ll pass me eventually, right? 
No, no, that’s “ewww” and “ick!” Didn’t you read how we’re supposed to view a sick relationship like that? :rolleyes:
They were dating when he ran for the U.S. Senate against Sen. Jim Bunning in 2004. It came out a few weeks before the election, and I think it may have hurt him a little (although Bunning was still going to win despite acting like a senile old man.)
He’s probably not going to win this election either, since state treasurer Jonathan Miller is the front-runner in the race and will beat incumbent Gov. Ernie Fletcher like a drum.
Well, you’ll be happy to know that I recently established a personal rule for dating younger women: I must be younger than her father. It occurred to me that this would be a good rule after I was talking with a 19-year-old at work and discovered that I’m a year older than her mother. No, I wasn’t flirting with her – she has an eight-foot-tall boyfriend, and I have another rule that says I don’t flirt with girls who have eight-foot-tall boyfriends She’s actually eight years younger than her boyfriend. I asked her if they heard shit about that, because when I was 24 I had an 18-year-old girlfriend (who was actually 17 when she first asked me out) and I was pitched much shit over the age difference.