50 answered OPs all at once

** I got called a faggot today! Advice **

I’m with the take pictures and plate numbers.

** Wedding problem–two stubborn women **

The key here is your comment that they are both borderline psychotic , there’s no winning. I’m going to a wedding in Colorado Springs on July 1st, is this you Bill.

**Companies you won’t patronize because of their owners/ads? **

Not really.

** What should my friend do? (Shady payroll practices at his new job) **

Answered this one in person. Get something in writing so you’re not on the hook.

**student loan consolidation… help. **

With three days to take care of ten loans you’re pretty much SOL, as far as making an informed decision goes.

**Consolidating debt is a bad idea? **

Consolidating is usually seen, (my understanding with little knowledge to back it up), by lenders as a sign that you get in over your head and don’t have a lot of options.

Help needed: what questions have you called your credit card issuer with?

Charges that weren’t mine, claims that they owed me money (they ended up paying too), and “Where is my rebate check?”

**Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining (Your Dreams) **

Yes, my dreams (I’m 59), have become stranger and less nightmare like.

**Does the “cost of living” in an area really just mean housing prices? **

It’s the biggest single expense for most folks. The difference between San Francisco and Sandy Hook, KY could easily be a couple thousand a month. Utilities, for instance, might have a difference of only a few hundred. Clothes, gas, food, etc generally are fairly uniform across the country.

**Which song and/or band accompanied the most deflowerings? **

When I pull the flowers out of the beds at the end of the year I usually don’t listen to the radio. Not sure why you’d think a lot of people do.

**How old are you? **

59

**Schoolteacher fashions and dating **

Would she have just come from work? Maybe she’s trying to see if you have a sense of humor that matches hers? Does seem a strange choice for first date though.

**Do you pee in the shower? **

Sure.

**Can Kitty’s Nips Be Affection? **

Nothing a cat does shows affection. Cats only do things to keep you in line.

**What’s been your experience with tendonitis? **

Haven’t had a lot.

** Where do you usually get your bad medical advice? **

I’m fairly capable in this area by myself.

**Eminent Domain - give Bush some credit **

Gotta say that Bush doing anything I agree with is a little strange and unsettling. But I’m behind him on this one: maybe, we’ll see how it shakes out.

** Wanna Play a Trivia Tournament?**

No.

**“Fat and hairy”- a turnoff? **

Uuuuh, yes.

Ok so maybe I’m panicing a little…this could be normal right?

Doesn’t matter, does it? In either case you’re going to go and you’re going to keep track of expenses. I’d assume the job wasn’t mine. That way you can relax (no pressure), enjoy the ride up and back, stop and have a steak dinner if your worse fears are confirmed - fuck’m they’re paying for it. Go in relaxed, be yourself, do the best you can.

** How do you build your self confidence? **

I quit worrying about what people think, mostly. That and some good drugs from the VA.

**Longest you’ve been drunk **

About a day or so.

**Why do some people w/ poor memories refuse to write thing down? **

It’s a lot of hassle. Then you have to remember to check the notebook often.

** Do you complain when you get free stuff?**

No. I do worry a bit about later they’ll come back and want to be paid.

** Puppy crate training **

Who’s training who here?

three days, $91,000 to invest in stocks, what would you invest in?

Find a small cap company who’s stock is jumping around. With only three days you might get lucky. Hey, it’s only lunch.

Inappropriate business or product names?

We have a, “Dick’s Cleaners,” here in Carson City.

Oral sex: Swallowing

I wouldn’t do it, though I am in general in favor of it.

**your opinion on Dells **

Don’t know much about them. But they do seem to produce a reasonably priced dependable enough for most uses machine.

Las Pulgas Road, and other bizarre street names

I have a friend who lives on Chigger Ridge Road.

What have you gotten away with?

Rather a lot, which won’t be listed as I’d just as soon keep on getting away with it.

**How hard is it to recaulk a tub? **

Pretty easy. Dig out the old caulk, squirt on the new, and smooth it up with your finger. Keep soapy water on it so it won’t stick and wipe it off, often, on a paper towel.

Looking for a good backup utility

Sorry can’t help, don’t know squat.

** Tempur-Pedic mattresses: Do they work as advertised? **

Does anything.

**Good Web hosting options? **

Geocities gives 15 Meg for free. It’s okay if you don’t mind ads. Yahoo’s small biz give you a whole world of space and data transfer for $20 per month.

Myself loves Yourself

Myself, yourself seems to work fine in some circumstances. Though you seem to run into more of it down under than we do here on top. Maybe it has something to do with spending your lives upside down, or something.

** Ethics of not doing something because you simply don’t want to **

I’m thinking that you’re taking it all too seriously. You had already made up your mind as to what you were going to do when they called you. And they knew you had because you hadn’t signed up.

** How to revitalize an aging laptop… **

Sometimes you just have to let go.

Where to have my Mom’s 60th birthday

A friend of mine grew up and lived in Spiceland, IN. He called it, “The hub of the universe,” and, “Where the east ends and the west begins.” Your milage may vary.

** Do you ever leave home with a dryer running?**

Probably.

** Care and feeding of a pacemaker **

I don’t think the actual surgery for a pacemaker is all that much (well, when compared to a lot of heart related surgeries that is). The only one I remember seeing made a 2 inchish in diameter bump on the upper left chest.

** "I just don’t get ___ " “I can explain that to you. But I just don’t get ____” **

Og, where to begin. I’m 59 for-crying-out-loud, I haven’t understood anything for 25 years.

**Anyone else have Hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid)? **

I’m almost positive many others have it.

** Ask the high-performance driving instructor **

So, what do you charge? After expenses, taxes, etc how much do you keep?

Bicycle commuting time

When I bike it’s usually at 80mph for a couple of hundred miles. As I am retired commuting is not in the plans.

Knitting for Beginners

My mother could help, she knits about 2-3 acres of stuff a year. Or so it seems anyway.

Could persent day humanity survive 2 million years ago?

If you define “survival” as anything better than everyone being dead in 20-30 years. Yes. Would they have a society higher than a very poor species of hunter/gathers? No.

**Job Dilemma: Need some good advice **

It does sound like a great job. As nobody on site has a clue how to do it as long as you don’t totally fuck up you’re the whiz kid. But money is nice and no salary is more important than the first one out of school. Tell them you have been offered more, and have to have more than they are currently offering. If they are serious about this they will realize their first offer (which they might well have given as only a starting point) isn’t going to fly and start getting serious.

**What’s the most successful SMDB thread you’ve begun? Could you have predicted it? **

Well, this probably won’t be it.
**
Parents: Do you explain everything to your kids? **

“The Little Hook” is 37. He explains things to me.

I want to be you when I grow up. =O

Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS.

SandyHook
Your efforts at answering 50 genuine OP’s is truly inspiring.

However, I thought this would be a thread for posting only the answers to OP’s that may or may not exist.
For example:

  1. Margaret Thatcher, Richard Simmons, Connie Chung, L Ron Hubbard, Susan B Anthony, the Hudson Brothers and (not surprisingly) Rutherford B Hayes.

  2. Up until quite recently, linseed oil. Now KY Jelly is almost universally used.

  3. “Gone With The Wind” and “Videodrome”

  4. It has occurred 4 times in the last century, although some sources claim 117.

etc. :smiley:

Maybe it’s time for my medication.

I refuse to grow up, but I’ll take your drugs if you’re through with them. :slight_smile:

50 unrelated threads responded to in a single place… This struck me as the perfect candidate for a mash-up!

No offense is intended to SandyHook, I just went for combinations that were funny, or failing that, appropriate, or failing that, least likely to get me arrested. I think I reached one of the three criteria in some of these. :smiley:

I tried to make sure that none of the actual text was modified, just the order of the answers.

I got called a faggot today! Advice

Charges that weren’t mine, claims that they owed me money (they ended up paying too), and “Where is my rebate check?”

Wedding problem–two stubborn women

With three days to take care of ten loans you’re pretty much SOL, as far as making an informed decision goes.

Companies you won’t patronize because of their owners/ads?

Rather a lot, which won’t be listed as I’d just as soon keep on getting away with it.

What should my friend do? (Shady payroll practices at his new job)

My mother could help, she knits about 2-3 acres of stuff a year. Or so it seems anyway.

student loan consolidation… help.

Find a small cap company who’s stock is jumping around. With only three days you might get lucky. Hey, it’s only lunch.

Consolidating debt is a bad idea?

Gotta say that Bush doing anything I agree with is a little strange and unsettling. But I’m behind him on this one: maybe, we’ll see how it shakes out.

Help needed: what questions have you called your credit card issuer with?

Doesn’t matter, does it? In either case you’re going to go and you’re going to keep track of expenses. I’d assume the job wasn’t mine. That way you can relax (no pressure), enjoy the ride up and back, stop and have a steak dinner if your worse fears are confirmed - fuck’m they’re paying for it. Go in relaxed, be yourself, do the best you can.

Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining (Your Dreams)

Uuuuh, yes.

Does the “cost of living” in an area really just mean housing prices?

So, what do you charge? After expenses, taxes, etc how much do you keep?

Which song and/or band accompanied the most deflowerings?

Well, this probably won’t be it.

How old are you?

About a day or so.

Schoolteacher fashions and dating

I’m with the take pictures and plate numbers.

Do you pee in the shower?

Yes, my dreams (I’m 59), have become stranger and less nightmare like.

Can Kitty’s Nips Be Affection?

No. I do worry a bit about later they’ll come back and want to be paid.

What’s been your experience with tendonitis?

We have a, “Dick’s Cleaners,” here in Carson City.

Where do you usually get your bad medical advice?

“The Little Hook” is 37. He explains things to me.

Eminent Domain - give Bush some credit

It does sound like a great job. As nobody on site has a clue how to do it as long as you don’t totally fuck up you’re the whiz kid. But money is nice and no salary is more important than the first one out of school. Tell them you have been offered more, and have to have more than they are currently offering. If they are serious about this they will realize their first offer (which they might well have given as only a starting point) isn’t going to fly and start getting serious.

Wanna Play a Trivia Tournament?

Who’s training who here?

"Fat and hairy"- a turnoff?

The key here is your comment that they are both borderline psychotic , there’s no winning. I’m going to a wedding in Colorado Springs on July 1st, is this you Bill.

Ok so maybe I’m panicing a little…this could be normal right?

If you define “survival” as anything better than everyone being dead in 20-30 years. Yes. Would they have a society higher than a very poor species of hunter/gathers? No.

How do you build your self confidence?

I wouldn’t do it, though I am in general in favor of it.

Longest you’ve been drunk

59

Why do some people w/ poor memories refuse to write thing down?

I’m almost positive many others have it.

Do you complain when you get free stuff?

Sure.

Puppy crate training

It’s the biggest single expense for most folks. The difference between San Francisco and Sandy Hook, KY could easily be a couple thousand a month. Utilities, for instance, might have a difference of only a few hundred. Clothes, gas, food, etc generally are fairly uniform across the country.

three days, $91,000 to invest in stocks, what would you invest in?

A friend of mine grew up and lived in Spiceland, IN. He called it, “The hub of the universe,” and, “Where the east ends and the west begins.” Your milage may vary.

Inappropriate business or product names?

Does anything.

Oral sex: Swallowing

Nothing a cat does shows affection. Cats only do things to keep you in line.

your opinion on Dells

It’s a lot of hassle. Then you have to remember to check the notebook often.

Las Pulgas Road, and other bizarre street names

Probably.

What have you gotten away with?

When I pull the flowers out of the beds at the end of the year I usually don’t listen to the radio. Not sure why you’d think a lot of people do.

How hard is it to recaulk a tub?

Consolidating is usually seen, (my understanding with little knowledge to back it up), by lenders as a sign that you get in over your head and don’t have a lot of options.

Looking for a good backup utility

Geocities gives 15 Meg for free. It’s okay if you don’t mind ads. Yahoo’s small biz give you a whole world of space and data transfer for $20 per month.

Tempur-Pedic mattresses: Do they work as advertised?

Myself, yourself seems to work fine in some circumstances. Though you seem to run into more of it down under than we do here on top. Maybe it has something to do with spending your lives upside down, or something.

Good Web hosting options?

I have a friend who lives on Chigger Ridge Road.

Myself loves Yourself

Would she have just come from work? Maybe she’s trying to see if you have a sense of humor that matches hers? Does seem a strange choice for first date though.

Ethics of not doing something because you simply don’t want to

I’m thinking that you’re taking it all too seriously. You had already made up your mind as to what you were going to do when they called you. And they knew you had because you hadn’t signed up.

How to revitalize an aging laptop…

Pretty easy. Dig out the old caulk, squirt on the new, and smooth it up with your finger. Keep soapy water on it so it won’t stick and wipe it off, often, on a paper towel.

Where to have my Mom’s 60th birthday

Sometimes you just have to let go.

Do you ever leave home with a dryer running?

Don’t know much about them. But they do seem to produce a reasonably priced dependable enough for most uses machine.

Care and feeding of a pacemaker

When I bike it’s usually at 80mph for a couple of hundred miles. As I am retired commuting is not in the plans.

"I just don’t get ___ " "I can explain that to you. But I just don’t get ____"

Not really.

Anyone else have Hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid)?

No.

Ask the high-performance driving instructor

I’m fairly capable in this area by myself.

Bicycle commuting time

Sorry can’t help, don’t know squat.

Knitting for Beginners

Haven’t had a lot.

Could persent day humanity survive 2 million years ago?

Answered this one in person. Get something in writing so you’re not on the hook.

Job Dilemma: Need some good advice

I don’t think the actual surgery for a pacemaker is all that much (well, when compared to a lot of heart related surgeries that is). The only one I remember seeing made a 2 inchish in diameter bump on the upper left chest.

What’s the most successful SMDB thread you’ve begun? Could you have predicted it?

Og, where to begin. I’m 59 for-crying-out-loud, I haven’t understood anything for 25 years.

Parents: Do you explain everything to your kids?

I quit worrying about what people think, mostly. That and some good drugs from the VA.

So, you want to be me huh?

You think you got what it takes to fill my shoes? I get sick of you punk wannabes following me around taking notes, as if.

Okay, now here’s something we can work with. Your refusal to grow up shows the proper spirit. This is one of the major building blocks on the road to being me.
But you’ll only get my drugs when you pry them from my vomit encrusted fingers while Im heaving into the toilet!