50ish Things I've Learned from Jaceson, May He Rest in Peace

I hope it’s okay to do this, as the other thread is still active (although, mods, I’m perfectly agreeable to y’all closing that one if this one may remain open), but I’d love to be able to post this as a memorial.

  1. Timing is everything.
  2. Use Q-Tips after a shower for better ear health.
  3. Sometimes green beans don’t suck if they’re accompanied by pecans and blue cheese.
  4. Being directionally challenged can be corrected through a spouse’s trip to New Orleans.
  5. “The Warriors” is another bad ass 70s movie.
  6. No one needs top sheets.
  7. AC/DC really isn’t scary after all.
  8. How to drive a big truck without hitting pedestrians.
  9. Who Carl Sagan was and why he is important.
  10. It’s okay to always be six.
  11. Black socks to play ball are actually a good idea.
  12. You can’t try any harder than your best.
  13. Chess is worth learning. Hard, but rewarding.
  14. A higher education is also worth having. A lot.
  15. Sometimes, paying more for quality is worth the original investment.
  16. Weeks’ long wedding hiccups can be overcome.
  17. It’s okay to laugh when you’re angry.
  18. Safety yellow and UT orange don’t necessarily suck as a colors.
  19. That one can grow, despite background, intelligence or prejudices. Thank you fellow GLBT supporter.
  20. I like rubbing buzzed heads.
  21. I appreciate a fellow who will allow me to, erm, pick out ingrown hairs. I know, I know, but it’s grosser to have them.
  22. Letting stuff go. Some things resolve in the interim, others are too small to sweat, and occasionally, it either just doesn’t matter or you don’t have the time. Laid back and happy are better. Procrastination isn’t always a bad thing.
  23. Methodism is our mothership.
  24. Not all name brands are the devil. I love Apple, Hellman’s and New Balance because of Jaceson.
  25. Be supportive and unconditional even when you don’t feel like it.
  26. Always make things meaningful to you, from tattoos to numbers. Ditto.
  27. I can house train a dog(s).
  28. I can follow a recipe and turn out delicious food. At least, I can if others are willing to be patient with me.
  29. At least one person can, freakily enough, blow air bubbles out of their eyelids underwater.
  30. His tummy rubs were magic.
  31. Montreal seasoning is a staple on almost anything.
  32. Telling someone what to do is never right. Keep opinions to yourself unless solicited, then share in love.
  33. It’s possible to swallow a whole boiled egg. I’m still unclear on why anyone would want to though.
  34. Being a bottomless fount of useless knowledge can be endearing.
  35. If you don’t know the answer, make sure you find access to someone who does.
  36. Fiesta makes a hell of a plate.
  37. Not all Star Wars / Star Trek fans are totally cray-cray. Only moderately so.
  38. You really can’t make a person read who only pretends to. You just gotta love them anyway.
  39. Forgiveness (and sometimes forgetfulness) is lovely.
  40. Having a uniquely spelled name is more a feature than a bug. Love, Jaceson and Kembrly
  41. Epiphanies are mostly hilarious.
  42. There’s a million and one justifications for the pets you love. Even when you have to replace a sofa.
  43. Ford F-150 blue trucks are pretty. Certainly if they have an Oakley sticker on the back.
  44. Everyone should still have a pillow from childhood.
  45. Soap is the most perfect, lusty smell there is.
  46. Hiking boots go with anything and sleeveless shirts are formal attire. Goatees are still hot.
  47. [In dispute…] Defense never won a game. Hrumph.
  48. Cash is a one-size-fits-all gift and is accepted by discerning recipients everywhere.
  49. Some cities sound better if pronounced with a faux accent. Bahhh-tawwwwn Rooooousgh.
  50. It’s okay to be enamored of Alice Cooper. Really, it is. He said so.
  51. This: “When you’re not practicing, someone somewhere is. And when the two of you meet, assuming roughly equal ability, the other person will win.” is actually great advice.
  52. Always grow and try harder. Always be game for anything. Always have a (warped and twisted?) sense of humor. Always be Jaceson.
  53. History doesn’t have to be as awful as I remember from high school.
  54. Healthy competition is good. Beating someone every single time at Rummy, not so much.
  55. It’s okay for your honey to crush on Sandra Bullock.
  56. Always grow and try harder. Always be game for anything. Always have a (warped and twisted?) sense of humor. Always be Jaceson.

Thank you for everything, darling, to everyone. You were simply the best and I have no doubt that will continue on in heaven as you headline your first game.
But only at first until I (hopefully) arrive. Then you’re on your own at third.

Always and forever, I love you.

Your wife,



Or maybe it’ll be best to just add this to the other one. Please, you guys do as you see fit. Sorry, I don’t want to clutter up the forum.

Sending much love! Feeling the love! Loving the love!

I love your list, Kemi. It’s funny, sweet, and wise.

He sounds like a great person. I’m sorry never to have met him, but glad to have met you.

You have nothing to apologize for, faithfool. I’m glad you shared this list, so that we could know him a little, too. Love lasts forever.

Jeez, I think I got something in my eye…

Thank you all again. I have a Jaceson-shaped hole in my heart, but talking about him helps. I appreciate y’all giving me the chance to.

Nothing to apologize for. This is valuable.

This is a fine thread. A wonderful list! Hugs and love to you

It’s a wonderful list that shows how special he was.

I was told many years ago, I forget who now, may have been an aunt, that ‘when you suddenly think of someone who had passed, just know they are checking up on you. Smile, say hi, and remember the good stuff.’

Seems you have a lot of good stuff to remember.

Thank you. I could go on, but I’d run out of life.

I’ve checked with ITD to make sure of where to post this, so here goes…

Several people have asked about his memorial service, so this is all the pertinent information. I put something similar on Caring Bridge:

Jaceson’s memorial service will be held on Saturday, November 14th, at the ministries center of the First United Methodist Church in Mineola, Texas. It’s located at 612 N. Newsom and will be at 10:00 AM, with a sit down reception to follow. We’d love for everyone to attend, and for those who’d rather opt for something different than sending flowers, donations to your favorite charities in Jaceson’s name would be wonderful. If you’d prefer instead to choose something specifically meaningful to him, we encourage you to consider the MMRF (Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation), CaringBridge, or locally, The Hospice of East Texas. They are all doing amazing things to help those in need.

Thank you all so much again. I hope to see you there. If anyone needs anything further, please let me know. I’d be happy to help. God bless.



You and your family are in my prayers. May God’s Peace and Comfort flood over you; may you be rocked by God’s own arms; and may you know that He is the eternal flame that warms you on the darkest and coldest nights.

Amen, BobArrgh, well said. ****Kemi, my deepest sympathies.

That is a very sweet list. Wishing you well.

I ventured into MPSIMS for the first time in weeks, only to find this thread and the other one. I’m so sorry, Kemi. I loved the list and thought it was so sweet.


Kemi, I’m so, so sorry to hear you’ve lost Jaceson. Sending you my deepest condolences and warmest hugs.

That is an awesome list. It sounds like you had a great life together.

Wishing you peace during this difficult time.

Thank you for sharing this.

I’m going to try green beans with blue cheese and pecans.

ETA: by which, I mean, I found your list heartwarming, and I hope someone writes a fond list about me one day.

What a great list that is. I’m so sorry Kemi.

May today’s grief be replaced by happy, loving memories.