The moving van pulled away, followed by Daniel with my two younger children, Stephan and Genevieve. Daniel is 19 and if I were a blaming type I ultimately could finger him for today. Stephan is now 9, Genevieve is 8 and I am 41. In summation we are 77, if numbers indeed matter.
It has been a year and a half since I heard “I want a divorce.” I countered with marriage counseling. When we met it was obvious it was not to be.
I moved down to the basement ‘apartment’ in the house. Small shower, cold floors. Not much light through the windows.
We began to negotiate. How much? To whom? Who gets the children? Housing market crash - goodbye equity!
I prepare a fight - I got some dirt; I can win a dirty fight…
Throw it away, keep it clean for the kid’s sake.
Strange twists, a resolution appears, we agree, the time arrives.
Today: the van is packed. Seven twenty one pm, January 27th, 2008, my family drove away.
I carry a simple philosophy: No matter what I have encountered, someone else has encountered it before. I can deal with it poorly or deal with it well. I choose to deal with it well. I just have to figure out how.
Tonight I cleaned the master bedroom, closets and bath. It took hours. For the first time in eighteen months I took a long hot shower in my master bath. It was wonderful. I felt like I washed years away from my skin.
We didnt fight (much / publicly). I will credit her with that, and more. The kids went only slightly unhappy, we tried very hard not to work them up. They are going to a good neighborhood, good schools, good situation. I won’t complain.
I said I could blame Daniel for today - fifteen years ago and more I met his mom; I had my doubts about us but I decided early on I had to be serious or cut it off because there was a little child involved; you don’t mess around with kids.
I don’t regret him, he’s been a good son, but I have to honestly admit I never would have tolerated all this crap is he weren’t first there to keep me serious.
Ultimately I have to say life is good: many of you have been through this - some of you have dealt with it poorly, some have dealt with it well. I join those who have dealt with it well.
That shower sure felt good. Good night all!