7.8 million gallons of water tossed out because a single guy urinated in it

Over in Portland, a drunken manpissed into a water reservoir. Now they’re draining the entire godddamned reservoir, all 7.8 million gallons of it, because of 8 ounces of urine (which is sterile, by the way).

“OMG! 0.008 parts per million of urine in our drinking water!”

There’s not a lick of logical sense behind this. All the water we drink has been in the bladders of countless animals since life began. And I’m sure the reservoir hasn’t been immune to non-human animals leaving their own gifts behind. This is an absurd waste of money.

Ew. “Drinking water”? Like in the toilet?

Yeah, but it’s Portland. It’ll fill back up in two days.

Fish fuck in that water. Insects drown in that water. Turtles shit in that water. People piss in the watershed!

This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard of.

Good God.

This is basically actually a large pond outside right?

How much damn birdshit falls into it everyday?

And fish? As WC Fields once observed, water is nasty because fish phuck in it.

Maybe he also dumped a Baby Ruth in there.

Holy shit, homeopathic levels of pee? What about all the animal and fish pee in it?

I think the local water management authorities should advertise that they have a homeless guy pee in each reservoir every day. That might help with that whole water conservation thing.

Well, that’s infinitely more concentrated than a homeopathic solution, and you know how potent they are.

ETA: I swear I will preview next time. No-one had mentioned homeopathy when I hit the reply button. That will teach me to walk away from my computer with a thread open. (Actually no, it probably won’t).

And Batman’s latest nemisis, “The Tinkler”, finally makes his media appearance.

I heard that the guy had eaten a bunch of asparagus, that changes things.

OMG!! Ready to get outraged about this one. Intolerable stupidity at it’s worst. Can’t wait to read more.

Well yeah, but 7.8 million gallons and everything…

But it’s, it’s an outrage, I tell you. In the face of scientific evidence…and birds pee in the very same water.

but 7.8 million gallons…

Portland does not treat the water before it enters the city’s system? That would be the only reason to respond as they did. (And have, according to your post.) A piss-poor reason, but still, at least it would be an excuse.

I hope they at least filter it out. You know, insects, fish, amphibians, leftover parts of serial killer’s victims. That sort of thing.


Good point. If anyone had drunk that water they would have been cured of, uh, well, having to pee I guess.

Which would be convenient.

To keep the water clean, they should kill all the gophers.

But if they kill all the golfers, they’ll lock them up and throw away the key.

How do you clean a reservoir?

They aren’t even trying to justify it now:

Once again, Portland makes no sense.

Seriously, though, that’s what you get for being the Transient Capital of America.