Oh, it would be so much easier if I could just write it off like that, but I’ve never managed to have that excuse.
Thank you! Yes, I pride myself on being very party-worthy. I’m not much for interesting conversation or crazy hijinks, but I’m clean! 
That is a direct violation of the 86 rules of drinking. See #34.
Ooh, also Rule #73! Double douchebag points, then!
“QUIT WHINING, YOU BIG BABIES!”
I laughed until I was literally in tears before I sent this picture to a few friends who found it… not nearly as funny as I did. 
What picture?
That statue is part of a large installation in Frogner Park here in Oslo. That’s right - we’ve got a whole park full of statues of similar awesomeness. You may express your admiration now.
Or even better - when they’re hosting the party, and they demand that everyone else stay regardless of the fight.
Wha… Is this even in the correct thread?
ok good–I’m not the only one totally confused
True, but that belongs on the list of “8 thinks you can do to ruin your own party”. 
Did we mention Weird Non Sequitur Guy?
I knew a women who was this combined with a #5. Whatever bad happened to someone, she had to one upped it with her tale of woe. One party we were talking about a friend whose three year old son had been the victim of a murder/suicide by his father. Her response?
That’s not as bad as what happened to me. I had to buy both my parents.
Everyone had a WTF? look on their faces. I finally said “You are supposed to bury your parents. You are not suppose to bury your children.”
That surely depends on how much they cost. 
[sorry]
Oh, yes. #10 is the entire Straight Dope Message Board, btw (said with love). I’ve been #11, sadly, but had #11 happen to me as well.
#12s should be hanged in the nearest closet. Nothing will make you NOT invited next time more quickly than to not leave when the party is OVER.
Too funny–I don’t see anything that remotely resembles an installation.
Hampshire! We have one of those in our local circle of friends. She drives me INSANE at parties. I love her dearly, she’s a good friend, but lawrd almighty, the one upmanship is enough to drive anyone around the bend. She’s also obsessed with her cleavage and will gladly shove it in everyone’s face and talk about it, at length. You’d think the guys would like that, but combined with the upmanship? It’s really, really REALLY old now.
Morose skinny guy who sits alone on the bottom of the stairs nursing a Pernod and a clove cigarette in the vain hope that this will make him look aloof yet sensitive and thus enigmatic, and that this strategy will get him laid.
THANK YOU! I HATE GUITAR GUY!
(It’s the way we all have to sit round pretending we’re enjoying this self-indulgent cauterwauling, and even thinking we have to tap our goddamn feet so we don’t look like a damn square, when in actual fact our look of raptuous attention is masking a deep homicidal tendency to take the guitar and hit Guitar Guy over the head with it.
What? Did I say that out loud? )
My mom was like that, except it was coffee cups (my parents didn’t do booze parties). She’d serve people coffee, and then the instant they finished it she’d whisk the cup away to the kitchen sink. So if they wanted another cup they’d need a new one. 4-5 adults at the gettogether, and by the end of the night there were 20+ dirty coffee cups in the sink.
There was a list going around the Internet of “Signs You’ve Grown Up”. One said, “‘I’m never going to drink that much again!’ becomes ‘I just can’t drink like I used to.’”
He was my roommate back in the '70s.