From the Smoking Gun
Snopes has already dismissed this as a false urban legend (and their version includes the hysterical punchline, which I won’t spoil here).
I’m guessing thesmokinggun’s journalistic standards are somewhere in the neighborhood of the National Enquirer’s.
I say we ban pumpkins and replace them with turnips. Pumpkin pie increased blood flow to the indecent bits and sparks unclean thoughts. But turnip pie does not. Jack o’ lanterns, aside from their innuendo-sparking name, cause fear in small children. But these children will laugh giddily at a turnip o’ lantern. And let us not forget the Headless Horseman and his acts of murder committed with the accomplice of a pumpkin!
Down with pumpkins!
Hmm… Well it appears to be a real story.
See, the problem with pumpkins is that even when they’re down there you still have to do all the work.
Due to anti-incest laws, it’s illegal in most places to “pump kin.”
If he was in his own freaking basement, how can he get an indecent exposure charge? And why didn’t his neighbors get busted for being peeping Toms? <shakes head>
I heard the pumpkin wanted it. It had been dressing up in pretty pumpkin clothes and been flirting with this guy for MONTHS…its just not his fault.
Oh, I love this place…never before have I heard the term SEXUAL DELINQUENT.
Band name perhaps???
That’s the funniest thread title I’ve ever read.
If only he’d been out of his gourd then he’d be walking free.
Of course, he’ll never be able to squash the rumors as long as he lives.
Of course, he’s a registered sex offender, now. Parents! Lock up yer squashes!
So he was waxing his zucchini in the back yard…vegetarians every where are denouncing this act. No comment from The Great Pumpkin as of yet.
If people can clearly see into your home from a public area, privacy laws usually don’t apply. Keep this in mind when you’re filling your bong.
I wonder if he carved the pumpkin first?? like did he do a face with a O mouth?? lmao too funny
GROAN. Nicely done AskNott
Well great. <crosses off " walking around the house topless and pressing my breasts against the window while waving to neighbors" off the list of things that are ok to do while home alone>
"The act is similar to a scene in the movie “American Pie”. “If that’s where he got the idea to do this, I don’t know,” said Warren Detective Sgt. Gary Johnson: “I can’t think of any (other) report I’ve ever seen of a guy doing anything with a vegetable or fruit.”
Actually, I recently saw Night on Earth, which is a movie about Taxi drivers across the world. In the fourth story, Roberto Binini (sic) confesses to a priest he picks up about how he and his friend got the idea of humping pumpkins when they just hit puberty. Maybe this guy’s just a little slow on moving through his video selection as well?
The rest of that scene is fucking hilarious as well. Overall, the movie’s alright, but I recommend it to anyone simply for that one sequence in Rome. Absolutely hysterical!
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
If you move next door to me and do this, I promise not to call the cops, ever! 