I must be an idiot 'cause I don’t get this thread at all.
I must be an idiot 'cause I don’t get this thread at all.
T’POL, speaking to Ensign Mayweather at the helm:
paraphrasing
“You know, since it does not look like we are going to survive, I just wondered… I do not want to die without experiencing pon farr …”
May I move into TNG-land for just a moment? Pleeease?
Picard: Crusher, Crusher, Crusher, Crusher, Crusher…
(scream)
Picard: Bev… Crusher?
and now, back to Enterprise!
[sub](Aesiron, over here.)/sub]
drewbert: I’m afraid Snooooopy beat you to the punch on that one. (Although yours was much closer to the original.)
How’s about this’un:
MALCOM: “So … Oveur was under Archer, and he was under Dunne?”
T’POL: “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit plomeek soup.”
QUANTUM: Malcolm, you’re a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
MALCOLM: No.
Archer: So Trip, do you want to be on the side of goodness or badness?
Trip: I wanna be on the side of goodness.
Archer: Good! Good! That’s my boy.
I know I probably fucked that up real good.
MALCOM: “Captain, I’m getting sensor readings for that object, but they’re erratic. The indicators are blinking out of sequence.”
ARCHER: “Well, make them blink in sequence!”
Archer: Malcolm, what can you make of this artifact?
Malcolm: Well, I can make a hat, or a phase pistol, or a pterodactyl.
Archer: Prepare weapons!
Suddenly all power goes out…
Trip, kneeling with an electric plug in his hand: Just kidding.
PERSON WALKING UP TO DOOR: Shhh!
DOOR: Shhh!
[door opens, person walks through]
PERSON TO DOOR [OVER SHOULDER]: Shhh!
DOOR: Shhh!
[door closes]
GUEST STAR OF THE WEEK {TO ARCHER]: Hey, I know you! You’re Sam Beckett!
QUANTUM: No, I’m not. And that’s Doctor Sam Beckett.
GSOTW[TA]: My dad says you sucked in that series. All offense, no defense.
QUANTUM: Yeah?! Well just try acting without quality writing or a good point gaurd.
[Archer takes Porthos with him for a visit to another starship, and goes for a ride]
ARCHER: “Want to see my dog, Porthos?”
OTHER SHIP’S CAPTAIN: “Sure! … Well, what do you know! Porthos is a boy dog!”
ARCHER [after a long monologue about the need for a Prime Directive]: But enough about me. I hope this hasn’t been boring for you. It’s just that whenever I talk about interference with other species, I get so carried away I loose all track of time.
[audience hangs itself]
[Malcom, alone in an unfamiliar starship, looks worriedly at the controls]
MALCOM: “Gyrocompass, warpspeed indicator, plasma temperature, wash, rinse, spin …”
PHLOX: I’m afraid a nasty xeno-parasite has disabled the entire bridge crew and we’re hurtling toward the sun with no one to fly the ship.
CREWMAN: Doctor, are you telling us everything?
PHLOX: Not exactly. We’re also out of coffee.
CREW: AAIIIIEEEEEE!!!
Archer is getting ready to land in his shuttlepod.
T’pol: Maybe we should open the Shuttlepod bay doors now.
Malcom: No. That’s just what he’ll be expecting us to do.
The crew is running out of time to stop the alien of the week.
Archer: How long do we have left?
T’pol:(going over to the controls and looking at a microwave set into it) About 2 minutes, Captain.
It doesn’t work unless you are familer with both the Airplane movies and the show Star Trek: Enterprise.
Malcolm goes to a door in the shuttle pod bay marked “DANGER! VACUUM!”
A vacuum cleaner hose comes out and strangles him. fun.
[switching movies]
KLINGON BASTARD TO QUANTUM ON TRIAL FOR SOMETHING: Jonathan Arcer! You are accused of aiding a mutiny against the Klingon High Council!
QUANTUM [WITH AN AFFECTATION OF SWISHY ODDNESS]: That’s CAPTAIN Jonathon Archer!
and a side trip into MAD Magazine
…“blend, chop, grate…blend, chop, not-so-grate…”