That’s for the high school to decide. Some places I’m sure would be strict about visitors, others less so. It would certainly be wrong to lurk around a school if you were told to be elsewhere but the OP’s school (and mine, and most others I have personal knowledge of) are more lax.
I think you may be overlooking situational variation. I’m sure there are some areas where HSs have to be miniforts, but this doesn’t seem to be one.
Scumpup, you want to know why I don’t consider myself an adult? I don’t pay my own taxes, I don’t pay rent, I don’t pay bills, I don’t pay room and board, I don’t pay for my textbooks, I didn’t pay for my computer, I don’t pay for my clothes. I still live with my parents. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t yet earned the right to call myself an adult. Age has [del]nothing[/del] not much to do with it.
And as for the ego boost? Dude, I thought it was nice that someone was interested in me, since it hasn’t happened in six years. You’re making way too much of it. And I spend a hell of a lot more time with my friends in college than I do at home, and far more time at home than at my old high school.
He’s legally an adult and no longer part of the high school educational system. That’s all the magic that’s needed right there. If he wants to catch up with his friends or his teachers, he is at liberty to visit them at their homes and do that. The high school staff and student body aren’t his family. The system isn’t in place to give him a convenient social nexus. If he wants to see particular people he can go to their homes and do that. This whole thread began with him wanting to preen over a 15 year old girl crushing on him. That alone is plenty of reason for him to stay away.
Just based on the description the OP provided, I’d say she sounds very much the opposite of innocent and is possibly some kind of psycho. Naive teenage girls do not jump on adult men they’ve barely met and wrap their legs around them. I could believe a toddler would do that, but not a teenager. Teenage girls don’t normally behave like that even towards guys they do want to have sex with, not unless they’re already dating.
Captain Carrot, stay away from this girl for your own good. Do not attempt to be friends with her. You don’t need to “let her down gently”, just don’t have anything to do with her ever again. If she really is perfectly innocent this won’t do her any harm. She’s barely met you and could hardly be offended if you don’t seek her company again.
How many times do I (and other people) have to explain this? The school likes it when former students visit. They like hearing about our experiences.
Yeah, that wouldn’t be difficult or weird at all.
No, my intent in starting this thread was to share what I planned to do and hopefully get confirmation that it’s the best course of action. And you’re pretty much the only person who has said to stay away from the school entirely.
Yeah, they do believe it or not. It’s not something you’d THINK they’d do, but I knew a few really innocent staunchly abstinent church girls that did that, hell I knew hyper girls that asked for piggy-back rides. It’s a weird sort of neotenous behavior they think makes them look “cute” and they usually are rather innocent (one of them took until her senior year to even be able to pick up on most sexual innuendos).
I know several similar high school girls through dance events. One in particular is very huggy and jumpy with more or less everyone but has only ever kissed one boy (and not liked it much…perhaps explaining why she stopped at 1). 
I’d like to congratulate Captain Carrot for starting the most rapidly growing thread I’ve seen in months.
Not really. Age of consent is determined by state law, and the age of consent is below 18 in over half of the states. One or two have it as low as 13.
If you’re interested enough to check, www.ageofconsent.com has a complete listing.
I know this because…(heh) not what you think! One of my employees had a problem with her 16 year old daughter and the daughter’s 23 year old boyfriend. Turns out that AOC here is 16. As long as he didn’t give her alcohol or other contraband there wasn’t much Mom could do.
Going back to your old school makes you one of THOSE guys. Watch Dazed and Confused.
Don’t be one of THOSE guys.
Same here. Now that I am older I would consider a 20-year-old who actually has a relationship with a 15-year-old a bit pathetic but I still can’t get worked up about it.
Furthermore in this case nothing actually happened.
(Oh, and here 20 and 15 would be perfectly legal.)
That’s why I’m kind of surprised at the reaction from Scumpup. Nothing happened…and the OP doesn’t even want anything to happen. He’s not interested in pursuing anything with this girl. It would be one thing if he was posting another, “Does this girl like me? how do I pursue this?” thread, but all he wanted to know was how to let her down easy.
Count me in as one of those who wonders why this is such a big deal. The girl was rather touchy-feely, sure, but I remember being a 15 year old girl (five years ago) and I hung out with a group of people that generally hugged people hello. If they were attractive and “older” (hah!), behavior like the girl Captain Carrot mentioned would not be strange at all.
Anyway, he’s already said he’s not going to do anything about it. I don’t think there’s any real good reason to treat the high school like its full of land mines just because some girl has a crush on him. If she’s anything like me or the girls I hung out with, she knows that he’s completely unattainable.
And now, a random anecdote. Me and a couple of my close friends were VERY early bloomers–as in, we’ve been out with our parents at restaurants while we were 12/13 and been offered the chance to order alcoholic beverages. So, one Friday night at the Roller Dome (we were so cool…yeah right) I spot this really HOT guy. We know he’s older than us (we were 12/13 at the time), maybe about 16! Eee! Of course we went eee! that’s what 13 year old girls do.
Anyway, two of my friends and I approach him, chat, ask his name, and throughout the evening we generally exchange the amount of conversation that you can manage while in the midst of hundreds of people roller skating and loud music.
At the end of the evening, we see him take out a set of keys as he goes to the door. Aha! He is sixteen! “So, how old are you anyway,” I ask.
“Twenty,” he says casually, “And you guys are what, 16-17?”
“No, we’re 12, 12and 13!” Giggling.
The look on his face was priceless.
The funny thing was that I thought I was never going to see him again, but through a strange coincidence we both joined a Tae Kwon Do club that summer. How I loved self-defense practice! He was probably uncomfortable. My young teenaged self didn’t care though.
Umm…well that was really rambly. I guess my point is that both Captain Carrot and the girl know that nothing is going to happen, but she may want to generally flirt with the mystery of the older man. It’s really harmless, though, at least from my perspective of a generally safe world–by this I mean is that when I think about odds I realize that driving a car is more dangerous than most of my supposedly risky behaviors, but I can’t avoid that–and I’m still alive and emotionally healthy.
Yeah, really! There’s some posters here who sound like Middlebro and their friends his age should have stopped talking with Littlebro and their friends his age the instant Middlebro graduated.
My high school’s “trekking” club and the theater club both involved people over high school age. It was one of the benefits, you could talk with someone who was already majoring in what you wanted to study or a similar field and get a grasp of what it would be like, without it being a formal situation like when someone came to “present” a career choice.
We had a better sense of boundaries than Anne, but for Og’s sake and as another poster already mentioned, where is the magic button that turns you from incapable to all-cooked-and-done on your graduation day?
Not to be weird, but uh, you’re in college dude. You don’t need to get high school girls. Two different worlds, and they shouldn’t collide, except in the rarest of exceptions for senior in high school/freshman in college.
Statutory is no fun. You should ignore it, entirely.
On a separate note, ick.
So you’re a 20 year old man child because you don’t take any responsibilities in your life? Definately 100% stay away from girls then man.
He was staying away from girls. And asking for advice to keep a specific girl away from him.
Did nobody read the OP at all?
I did read the OP. Did you? Let’s look at some of the details:
So, here we have an adult who is not an employee of the school system in a classroom chatting up 9th grade girls with no district employee on site. There’s all kinds of wrong here.
Oh, this is really frickin’ appropriate behavior for an adult visitor at a high school.
Going back once after you graduate so everybody can see how you are getting on is acceptable. This is just neediness.
Time to start growing up and put childhood behind you, Peter Pan. The law considers you an adult whether you consider yourself one or not.
WRT visiting his friends at their homes
If you are close enough friends to need to visit them several times a year, I’d say a visit at their homes or meeting for a cup of coffee shouldn’t strike anybody as weird or difficult.
The school staff act in loco parentis for the students. In my professional opinion, not only do you need to grow up and move on, but the staff at this school are being lax in their duty by allowing you to hang around.
I’m pretty sure this will cause a minor board scandal (no doubt leading to Questions in Parliament, cows giving sour milk, and plagues of locusts o’er the land :p), but I completely agree with Scumpup on this one. :eek:
What on earth are you, as an adult (regardless of your own feelings on the subject) doing randomly visiting/hanging around at a High School you’re no longer attending?
When I was 20 most of my friends were about the same age and even when I was 19 the few of my friends that were younger and still in school (Year 13)- well, if I wanted to see them, we’d grab a coffee after school hours. I never visited them at school. Ever.
In fact, I couldn’t wait to get out of High School and move on with my life. Once I graduated, I walked out the front gate and never came back. I didn’t even join the Old Boy’s Association- I didn’t hate the place or anything, but I’d moved on and didn’t want to end up like that bloke in Napoleon Dynamite still trying to relive his High School Glory Days 20 years after the fact.
Besides, if you’re at university, shouldn’t you be chasing after university girls who are away from mummy and daddy and all their rules for the first time? 
In all seriousness though, grow up, and stop hanging around your old High School. It’s not healthy. See your friends after school hours, or better yet, get some older friends.
Much as it pains me to be agreeing with **Scumpup **here, he’s right as rain. If you’re a college freshman, 18 years old or so, maybe you have a few friends who were juniors in your senior year of h.s., at your old high school you really need to visit and it’s awfully inconvenient to see them at their homes, so you might make a visit or two during your freshman year, if you happen to be home during the week (and why is that, exactly? Don’t your college classes require you to, you know, attend class, and study when you’re not actually in class?). But starting your sophomore year at college, the only people still in your high school were h.s. sophomores when you were a h.s. senior. If you have a lot of close buddies two years younger than you in your teens where I come from, there’s something wrong and sad and pathetic about you. I didn’t know a soul in the sophomore class when I was a senior (and yes, I had dozens if not hundreds of close friends in high school). But sophs were little kids, and who wanted to hang out with those babies? I was seventeen, I was cool, I had objects for my lust who were my own age (though now that I remember there was this hot 15 year old in my French class I would have liked to know better when I was a senior–but I digress). If you really have close buddies in high school who are what two, probably three years younger than you–you know what? You qualify as a weenie in my book.
Grow up. Visit your high school, as an alum and a role model, when you’ve, you know, done something, and it’s super-clear that you’re a grownup and they’re kids, when any girl who wraps her legs around a mature stranger she just met is clearly insane. That’s what visiting your high school after graduation is about, not slumming so you can feel like a big deal. Become a big deal–that’s what you’re in college to do.
Wow, you guys are harsh.
Nonetheless you’re both right. You graduate high school that class ring comes off, that letterman jacket goes in a box, you say bye-bye to that building for good.
Even if you happen to drop by for a homecoming football game you stick outside with the other adults.
Being a college student who wants to pal around and visit kids still in high school is pretty desperate.
The don’t call it “graduation” for nothing. You’ve graduated past that life. Now move on.