Last Friday, I visited my high school, partially because it was homecoming. After lunch, I spent a bit of time in the choir room (I did choir all four years of high school, so I feel comfortable there), and had a nice time talking to a couple of freshman girls. Eventually the choir director came in and joined the conversation. After the class ended I left, and went with a few friends to get some food. Later, we gathered in the choir room to rehearse the song we were performing that evening, and one of the girls saw me and called my name excitedly. I waved to her, because really, what else could I do? When we were just about lined up on the field to sing, she called my name excitedly again, hugged me, and jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. It didn’t occur to me until later that this was rather odd behavior, especially towards a guy she’d only known for 6 hours.
That night, after I got home, I talked to a friend of mine and relayed the situation to him. I thought that she was either flirting with me, just weird like that, or interested in me. He said all three. Is he right? If so, how do I let her down gently?
Oh, I forgot to mention this earlier: I have very short hair. As in, I shave it completely every few weeks. Right now I have about a week of growth, which means it’s very fuzzy. When my hair is this length, some of my friends like to rub it. Nobody who doesn’t know me has ever felt it. She did.
Oh, and in case it makes any difference, when I met her, she was lying down, and after a while, she motioned for me to approach her and bend over so she could feel my head.
Why would you have to see her again? You’re in college, she’s in high school- is there something you have to do on a regular basis that involves being around her? Teenaged girls can be manipulative and sneaky, and you’ve already admitted that
So why even put yourself in a situation where even if nothing improper took place, it could easily be construed that something’s going on? Why even put yourself there?
Not on a regular basis, no, but I have friends at my high school, and I’m not going to stop visiting them just because she’s there.
Quite frankly, I don’t really see how I am. I have no intention of giving her the impression that her age is the only reason I’m not interested in her, or that I might be her boyfriend in a few years,
I’m going to go one further and say *all *high schools, that one in general, her in particular. She’s a child, you’re an adult. Stay far, far away from all of this. The ego boost that you claim is you unconsiously reciprocating her affection. There is nowhere that anything like this can go except really, really badly.
*A twenty year old can’t go to his high-school homecoming? * ~Larry Borgia
He can; he did. But to continue hanging around there (presuming he can’t do so while avoiding the 15 y/o in question) could carry some risks. Young girls gossip, fantasy starts getting passed around and amplified, and pretty soon it festers into “fact” and all that.
The part about her wrapping her legs around your waist bothers me a lot, OP. It isn’t subtle, discreet, or anything adult-like. She’s a loose cannon.
True, but I visit there a few times a year. It’s not as if I go there every day and just hang out awkwardly. And unless she starts stalking me, all I have to do to avoid her is not go to Choir during 7th period.
I say ignore her and avoid her. If she was you best friends little sister who had doe-eyes for your, then sure, be gentle. But she’s not anyone you have any sort of relationship with. And she crossed a line with someone she knew for six hours. One possible outcome is that the other person is going to avoid you from then on.
I think it’s fine to go visit the school but don’t approach her. The more persistent she is with you, the less polite you have to be with her. If she crosses a line again then tell her directly that she needs to back off. If you want to have nice conversations with the new crop of choir kids then chat with the ones who know how to carry themselves in public.
I’m just going to go ahead and say that you shouldn’t be hanging out at the high school, period. You’re a grownup now, you’re in college, and you should be hanging out with your peers, which high school kids are not. Move on. Too much potential for trouble with this, believe it.
Ah, okay. Well one good bit about this is that kids that age may react powerfully but forget and move on quickly. A week later she gets a boyfriend and you say hi. She replies, “I’m sorry; have we met?”:smack:
Git yerself on over to her pa’s place, and ask for permission to court her - respectful like.
Failing that:
“Lo-lee-ta: the tip of my tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.”
I’m going to say, all children, from infants up to, oh, say, twenty-one. In fact, you should lock yourself in your basement and hang a sign on the door: if you can’t buy beer, you can’t come downstairs.
And if any children do happen to come down into the basement, or show their faces at the top of the steps, you should kill them immediately. Wouldn’t want anybody thinking you liked them for any reason.
The safest thing to do would be to avoid that high school completely, but since when was doing the safest thing the best thing?
You sound like you’re already handling it just fine. Go to the school if you enjoy it and just treat her like you would anyone else. Don’t give her any undue attention.
Evil Auto is thinking: “in 3 years, she’ll be 18 and you’ll be 23. Ka-ching!”
Good Auto is thinking: “in 3 years, she’ll be 18 and… you will be 23… that’s still bad!”
