Ok, I have a crush on this girl, and have had it for almost 8 months now. She knows it, and has for almost that entire time.
As of late (about halfway through may) she started going out with a ‘friend’ of mine (he’s an ass but I have to be nice to him since my friend’s going out with him) and has been commenting on how, at least a small amount of time, he only wants to make out with her.
Now, he was sick and not at school yesterday or today, and my crush (his girlfriend) has suddenly been extra nice to me. For example, she flirted with me for the first time in two months, and she cut the original ‘foursome’ group that was going to a movie tomorrow down to just us two. She also wants to go kite flying with me sometime soon. Now, I find this completely strange, what could it mean?
I don’t know this girl or your relationship, but her behavior is consistent with the following scenario:
She’s mad at the boyfriend for whatever reason. Or she senses you pulling away (perhaps because of the BF?). She needs the attention of a male, or wants to assure your continued devotion just cuz she gets off on it. In short, she’s yankin yer chain.
Like I say, this is strictly hypothetical since I have TLI, but it happens.
She’s using you, I think. She wants to prove a point to her boyfriend by paying attention to another man. You’re the lucky one.
I believe you’re in high school, right? In those days I had more crushes than time to have them, and I was totally undateable. My advice, having been in your shoes, is to let yourself be used, and have fun. She might find the prince in the frog.
Just think, in ten years you’re going to meet the most wonderful woman in the world and laugh about the “good old days.”
Yup, the previous posters are pretty much on track.
Don’t give up. Feel free to hold out some hope, because hope is a wonderful feeling, and as a 21st Century teenager, you’re probably cynical enough already. Just be aware that the chances of something coming of this are slim, and steel yourself for disappointment. Just don’t lose faith. The right one for you is out there somewhere.
I think you may need something cathartic quick.
You ever watched the Wrath of Khan? Lean your head back and scream her name out as loud as you can. It’ll help a little. Then listen to the others. Maybe also be a little cool towards her.
Um, Speaker, I hate to say this, but I think that’s what the others meant, in that that’s how she can be proving an example.
Let’s take the scenario that she’s mad at her BF. It’s because he’s not there that she can do this stuff with you. Then she can go and tell him what she was doing. Plus, you’re a friend, so he can’t get mad. However, if he does, then she could pull out something like, “Well, you weren’t there…” Also, she can have this conversation when you’re not there (since he hasn’t been around when you two are together), so she thinks that you won’t be the wiser.
However, dude, I don’t know if that’s what she’s doing for sure. This particular scenario does sound very plausible, though…
Um, Speaker, I hate to say this, but I think that’s what the others meant, in that that’s how she can be proving an example.
Let’s take the scenario that she’s mad at her BF. It’s because he’s not there that she can do this stuff with you. Then she can go and tell him what she was doing. Plus, you’re a friend, so he can’t get mad. However, if he does, then she could pull out something like, “Well, you weren’t there…” Also, she can have this conversation when you’re not there (since he hasn’t been around when you two are together), so she thinks that you won’t be the wiser.
However, dude, I don’t know if that’s what she’s doing for sure. This particular scenario does sound very plausible, though…
I just went throw something similar with my bestfriend and now the girl won’t even speak to me because, “it’s just changed everything” she says. And what I learned from it all is women are really confusing. Don’t try to figure them out it will just drive you insane.
Just have fun don’t worry about it, she know’s you like her. If she has decided to make a play for you, it’s her move. Don’t try anything let her make it obvious to you what she wants. Before you try to “hook up”. Plus remember your friend, and weight that into the picture too.
You know what’s really upsetting? Women’s studies will not answer any of our questions, only make more!
Also I think many women are naturally flirty, and have to supress the urges to not flirt. She may be that type, knew you liked her and was working to turn it off. But kite flying? Hmm. Like I said be cool, just say no every now and then so she knows you can.
BTW I would not be saying that if she was single. Or would advocate that attitude for you SO at any point int he relationship/
Okay, in my mind there’s a big difference between “He isn’t here, and I need someone to flirt with” and “My boyfriend’s a prick, I’ll get back at him by flirting with Adam”. I also forgot another given: She’ll never go out with me. Even I know that we’re too close of friends for that ever to happen.
Bingo!! She’s playing you, though maybe not consciously.
Sounds like she does need someone to flirt with to make her feel better. And you, my friend, are safe. It will go no further than flirting. She knows you won’t make a move for her, and even if you do, she will say you got the wrong idea.
If I were you, I’d pull away from her a good distance.
My friend, that is “going out,” whether you call it dating or not, the two of you are spending time together, which is what you want, no? Some good advice has already been throwing up here, but think about it this way: you want to spend time with her, and she is willing to do that. The only difference is that she is calling it hanging out and you would like to be able to call it going out. Semantics. No worries. If you enjoy her company and she is willing to spend time with yu, then do that.
Like Nicklz said, though, if you feel the overwhelming orge to kiss her or make out, let her make the first move! DO NOT initiate intimate contact. She is, supposedly, dating that other guy, and you don’t want to initiate any sort of break up. If she does, though, go go go! See te difference?
Not only DO NOT make the first move, but don’t hint, suggest, joke, beg or anything else about HER making the first move, or that you want to take it any further than hanging out.
This is, for the average horny young guy, THE most difficult thing to do, I think. But if you don’t keep your cool, she’ll react just the same as if you had made the first move, and she’ll shy away. Let her come to understand on her own how much she wants to be with you. Don’t press the situation.
And if she doesn’t reach that point, then at least you’ve enjoyed hanging out with her.
