Switching things up a bit this week. I’m degening in the dirty south!
As I arrived in the region the other night, I wasn’t greeted with the southern hospitality of a nice pretty thang meeting me with hot creamy grits and buttery biscuits. Nooooo! It was an idiot who almost robbed me!
This is the closest I’ve ever come to being robbed. I was caught off guard.
When I hit the casino floor, I saw a cashman bingo card about half full! There were three spaces with one gap away from BINGO. I attempted to hit one of those gaps. I impulsively hopped on and started speed betting 3.75. That was a mistake, it’s better to hop on when there’s fives spaces with one gap away from BINGO. Instant -$500. Just 56 cents left on the slot. As I reached to get my wallet, I turned around and saw this guy with a gray shirt starring at me. I was like hmmmm Im being paranoid, he’s not going to do anything to me…there’s a thousand cameras around.
I was wrong. He approached me. Stood very close to me and stared. He said “lemme have that slot machine” He tapped his pocket. WTF. Dude also had a tear drop tat. Did he really kill a guy or was he a poser? Did he really tap a gun in his pocket? Who knows. I wasn’t going to take any chances. I let him have the slot. Just a minute or two later he won bingo. The slot paid him 250.
I should’ve reported his ass. But I try to fly below the radar at casinos.
Dude, I hope you get herpes. Get locked outside naked. And I hope your literal ass festers out in that August Arkansas sun!
Southern Degenerate Gambler
-Howdy yall! How about some Texas Holdem or Mississippi Stud?
A few years ago someone bullied my wife off a slot machine at an Indian casino, she had been having some luck on it. She came and told me what happened. We went to the machine and I hit the need help button on it. The machine stopped working. The woman got all huffy and threatened to kick my wife’s ass. Just about then a casino employee showed up, the woman got in her face telling her that I hit the need help button for no reason. My wife told the employee about the woman telling her to get lost that she owned the machine. The employee called an code 9 on her walkie talkie, a few seconds later 2 big guys showed up. The woman was 86’ed from the casino for a year and my wife was given $100 in casino credits.
Many years ago, and in England, I was working part-time as a taxi driver. I had to collect a regular fare from a private club where he was part of the management.
I had to wait and seeing a row of bandits found some change and tried my luck. It paid out a moderate jackpot on the second try. There was an uproar because I wasn’t a member and they wouldn’t let me keep my winnings - I did get my money back though.
My grandfather punched a guy for trying to bully grandma off her slot machine. Grandma and grandpa liked to play different games, so it was just happenstance that he walked by as the man was trying to get my grandmother off the slot machine. She refused and the man called grandma a bitch. Grandpa decked him right then and there. Security shows up pretty quickly and everyone is told to leave. Floor manager tells grandpa he can return in a few months.
Grandpa was in his mid 60s when this happened. I didn’t find out about this incident until after grandpa died. Grandma was moritified by the incident but I’m on grandpa’s side with this one.
LAST NIGHT, I was watching Jimmy Kimmel, and Awkwafina was on, and she tells a story where she goes into a casino, and there’s a slot there based on Crazy Rich Asians, and her picture is on it. She wanted to get a picture of her gambling on that machine, and she ends up bullying the guy who was playing it (who had no idea who she was) so she could get on the machine. I was kinda hoping the OP was going to be that story from the other direction.
