A bird crapped on my windshield...in the form of a smilie face :)

I got into my car this morning, and noticed some nice fresh bird doody on my windshield. Half-a-dozen quarter-sized splotches down the left-hand edge. Since I park my car next to the house, and the house has eaves and ledges and whatnot, I’ve come to expect that type of occasional surprise package from time to time. Luckily nothing was in my direct field of vision, so I could ignore it for the time being.

Since I needed gas anyway, I rolled into the gas station on my way to work. Got me a fill-up, and got down to business with the complementary windshield squeegee and associated bucket of dirty water. And then, I noticed something odd.

One of those quarter-sized splotches was in the shape of a perfect smilie face. Two little seeds for eyes and, placed with ideal symmetry, a little semicircle of whatever it is that birds eat that comes out semicircularly; the whole forming a pleasingly-proportioned face. The face was white, of course, and not yellow, but otherwise it was the spitting image of the standard smilie.

Astonishing, I thought. What are the odds of a bird crapping a perfect smilie? And…is there a metaphysical meaning to this? Little plops of joy raining down from the heavens? It seemed so perfectly symbolic that I couldn’t discount the idea. Certainly just seeing the face smiling up at me has made this the most meaningful time I’ve ever spent with bird poop. Was it just pure chance that a bird butt brightened my day, or was it part of some master plan? Since some of the finest minds in history have pondered these same questions for years (well, not exactly the same questions, but you know what I mean), it didn’t seem likely that I would come to a concluision all alone under the Amoco awning. So, I decided, the best course of action was not to mull this over by myself, but to share the story with others.

And then I squeegeed the smilie-poop out of existance.

:rolleyes:
Uhh, that’s not aimed at you; I’m just trying to recreate a smiley the colour of bird shit.
:slight_smile:

I was hoping for pictures.

no pictures?? you got rid of it?? where will my family go for pilgrimage now?

Offhand, would you say it looked more like a smiling Jesus, or a smiling Virgin Mary?

Are you sure it wasn’t Elvis? People see him in bird poop all the time.

Maybe it looks like a cloud…

and now it’s gone, we may never know. Saddest news I’ve heard all day

You want to see a smile? Look at the bird’s face that just crapped half a dozen turds.

Bird poop on a car?!?

Zut alors!!

[sub]sorry, I just couldn’t resist.[/sub]

you cleaned it off. good grief it could have become a shrine! think of the marketing!!!

Y’know, the second after I cleaned it off, I had the horrifying realization that I’d probably garnered a ton of bad karma. Or maybe it was the horrifying realization that I’d lost out on the chance to sell tickets. One of the two.

Tickets would have been good. Maybe instead of that you could send the story to Reader’s Digest or some other publication that looks for real life stories. For that matter, National Enquirer might front page a PhotoShop version of the picture. It oughtn’t be too hard to recreate that.

I think this is the most MPSIMS I’ve ever seen. Congrats. And I mean that nicely, btw. You really should’ve taken pictures.

Band name!!!

You could have tried Massachusetts but the image has been covered up. Doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrent, though.

but that doesn’t quite have the same allure as a smily formed miraculously from bird crap. My family will just have to go without their spiritual refreshment this year.

Pilgrims in Massachusetts? No, go on!

Next time a bird poops on your car in the form of anything remotely bankable, let me know. I want to set up a bar across the street. To help the pilgrims get a (ahem) clearer view.