This is an outrage. For four days straight now, my car has been bombarded with bird shit, heaps of bird shit, while parking in my driveway. Each and every time only on the sides of both front doors, not a speck on the roof! I cleaned up the shit from this morning an hour ago, and brought out the garbage 5 minutes ago, and wham!, fresh shit on the passenger door. What is this, er, shit? What have I done to the birds to be attacked like this? I promise to not have pissed off, scared or chased any birds, in fact I like animals.
This in Germany, so it’s spring when all the birds are usually all kinds of crazy. I think there are some tits (hehe, I said tits) nesting in the garden, but what have I or my car done to them to be treated this way?
I’ve had this problem. It’s the side mirrors. Robins (at least in my case) would see them self in the mirror and try to chase off the rival. Obsessively. I took to covering the mirrors with bags, which fixed it. They will mellow out on their own as summer gets closer.
Birds being able to shit in flight is a major design flaw and leads me to think that this world was not created by a just God. It must have just happened.
Birds, if designed properly, would need to land to shit and scratch their poop into the dirt the same way that dogs and cats do. If there are indeed multiple universes this one change is all I want. Leave everything else alone but make birds pooping in flight impossible.
What color is your car? The reason I ask is that my car is blue and if I leave the windows or hatch open in the summer I find the dead bodies of water skippers all over the place. These are the little skimmer bugs that you see on top of ponds. Like this: https://www4.uwm.edu/fieldstation/naturalhistory/bugoftheweek/waterstrider.cfm
They actually have wings and can fly and my opinion is that they see my blue car as a small pool of water when they are newly hatched or looking for a new home and head straight for it. It does not happen with my wife’s vehicle which is the color of dirt or sand.
Or you may have pissed off a crow. They have long memories and hold a grudge, and tend to be assholes.
On the contrary - it’s design brilliance. If cats and dogs could fly, you really thing they would bother landing to bury a turd? If I could fly like a bird, do you think I’d pay 600 bucks a year to be hooked up to the sewer system here?
Oh, just don’t wash your car, birds are smart enough to find the ones leaving the car wash when defecating.
Or an owl. I’ve known several charter boat skippers who have used rubber snakes and owls, mostly coiled rattle snakes, to prevent angry birds from playing angry people.
I have it on good authority that if you shoot (slingshot, pellet gun, arrow, cruise missile) the first crow, and leave it where it fell, other crows will see the carcass and move on down the road.
During the mating/nesting season,some birds will attack their reflections in windows (including car windows)–it can go on for a couple of weeks. They also shit a lot right in the general vicinity. That might explain your situation.
I think you got it. I didn’t catch a bird in the act, but I noticed that the mirrors were kind of dirty and smeared though I’ve been at the carwash the day before yesterday; looks like that’s from bird attacks. Guess I have to put on some socks or whatever on the mirrors.
Why shouldn’t we laugh about it? The asshole in the skit is British and the Germans are the victims, which isn’t a particularly typical part for Germans in popular culture. And it’s hilarious! And I can confirm that Germans have a sense of humor, but it’s just slightly different from the anglo-saxon variety (though we love us some British humor, sorry, humour. There were even two Monty Python episodes produced by German TV for an exclusive German showing [sup]*[/sup]). Mostly more restrained, but sometimes just plain silly and absurd. So yes, there’s such a thing as German humor, and the stereotype is, like most stereotypes of that sort, very tired.
[sup]*[/sup]) Here’s the greatest sketch from those episodes, Bavarian restaurant. John Cleese hardly knew a word of German and learned the part phonetically, but his accent and diction is spot on. He’s just that great. I think the philosopher’s soccer matchwas also from these episodes.
Thanks. I can’t watch those now, but will later. I have seen the philosopher’s soccer match before, it’s the Greeks vs. the Germans right? It’s completely hilarious!
OK, I know this is a hijack of your bird shit thread, but the Bavarian restaurant was hilarious. It was like discovering an unknown Beatles song or something. Thank you!
