One of my neighbors is selling their house, and just for fun I picked up one of those data sheets the real-estate agent leaves out front. ($159K and nearly 3000 square feet, in a good neighboorhood. Anybody want to be my neighbor?)
Anyway, I glanced at the picture of the real-estate agent handling the sale and snorted with laughter. Those of you in the Dallas area that have come to the get-togethers, look at Ms. Delores Cox, who I’m sure is a very nice woman who sells lots of houses, and ask yourself…
<snicker>
Just how did you think I financed my ludicrous generosity and overall magnanimity? I’m a real-estate broker and master of disguise on the side–along with being the creator of the Forgotten Realms (I’ll bring along a pic to the next gathering). Just don’t tell the revenooers!
Actually goes and looks at the picture…
Hmmm…nope, don’t see the resemblance. My hair’s brown, and she’s thinner (he said sadly). Of course, I’ve never seen the resemblance among my father, brother, and myself, and people have mistaken us for triplets for years…
the resemblance is in the confident, “I’m smarter than everyone around me” look on her face (which ONLY the supremely hyperintelligent folks at the SDMB have been able to wipe off YOUR face for even a moment).
Did anyone watch “Saturday Night Live” this weekend (Lara Flynn Boyle/Bon Jovi)?
They did a skit based on “The Scarlet Letter” featuring several cast members in pilgrim drag. Horatio Sanz TOTALLY had a Balance lookalike thing going on - only he didn’t quite nail Balance’s updated haircut. I guess the SNL spies were working from an outdated photograph.
So, in 2075, will there be a Church of Balance next door to the Cult of Elvis? Perhaps I’d better get busy on the miracles…
<Miracle Max>
Never rush a miracle man. You get rotten miracles.
</Miracle Max>
Cheffie, if you can tell the difference between my “I’m smarter than everyone around me” look and my “I have no clue what’s going on” look, can you clue me in on it?
Near as I can tell, the “I’m smarter than everyone around me” look features one raised eyebrow, while the “I have no clue what’s going on” look has both eyebrows smooshed towards the center, worry-style.
That would make sense, if only I had more than one eyebrow (the glasses hid the middle in the realtor photo)…
Actually, the one-eyebrow raised expression isn’t an expression at all (although I’m glad it looks like such a classy one). It’s really a consequence of one eyebrow being lowered, courtesy of a scar on the brow ridge above it (bullet wound, and don’t ask). Unless I make an effort to change it, one eye is always more closed than the other, and the associated eyebrow is lower.
So that’s really a blank “I’m listening and recording expression” that looks more impressive than it is. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. )
Hey, Balance, it’s a lot better explanation than mine. All my expression mean “I don’t have a clue what’s going on.” That’s why I go for the waitress. She doesn’t either but has to be polite to the patrons.
Sorry to pull this thread back up, but I’ve been out of the loop and I’m laughing my ass of. I swear that’s Balance.
Oh, and Jim. Speaking of waitresses, how do you do it? Who is…JIM? What is the secret of the Jim charm that they seem to go for? Where do you get those Cowboys/Rangers shirts? Why is the sky blue? How much for your siminar? Will there be milk and cookies? And, just how many chucks could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Jim?
What little remains of my sanity rests on the answers to these questions. Please RSVP.
