A Circusless MMP

Red I have jealous. Before kids[sup]TM[/sup], I only drove sports car. It sounds like my kind of road.

Circus. I did see Ringling Bros. at one point. I remember loving it. The highwire in particular sticks in my mind.

Onto the animals. First up, I hate PETA with the fire of a thousand suns. Hypocritical bastards would rather kill homeless dogs and cats than adopt them out to homes because death is better, somehow. Second, I worked at a zoo for a few years. Many years ago the training methods for elephants were not great. Many major zoos at the time did train the elephants because they are intelligent animals and the thinking was they would get bored without something to do. The training methods came into question, and other methods of working with elephants were adopted. I don’t know how that crossed over into circuses. I hope the major ones at least, like Ringling Bros, were also influenced for the better.

Today there shall be grocery shopping and faffing about. Also more tussling with 'Beamer who is still convinced that school has personally screwed him over and refusing to do his work. Do you know who can argue longer than an autistic kid? No? Me neither.

That is all. Happy Moanday.

The elephant trick of putting his foot on a very large stool comes from teaching them to make their toenails accessible. Because you can’t just grab their leg and start filing away, as one does with a horse.

I never cared for the circus, partly 'cause I felt bad for the animals, and partly 'cause I never liked clowns. I wasn’t sad to see Ringling bros go out.

I did scrub the moss off 2 of the vehicles yesterday, until my back told me emphatically to STOP! Moss is Orygun’s state flower ya know.

Today it’s supposed to get to 91 Merikan degrees, but I think I’ll get out the electric weed-whacker and clean up around the edges of the yard, and maybe mow the front, iffen I feel up to it. I’ve got a gas powered weed-whacker, but it takes me half an hour to get it running semi-smoothly, and I don’t have the patience anymore.

Mom’s talking about quiche decided me to go buy some fake crab (which I actually like) and have a go at one myself. Or maybe I’ll decide on something I can do on the grill.

Well, time to go sweat.

How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the butter.

A politician who’s gotten caught screwing (figuratively or literally) his constituents?

Do you know how elephants hide in trees?
They paint their toenails red.

Do you know what’s grey and goes slam!, slam!, slam!, slam!?
A four-door elephant.

If you don’t stop me now, I’ll remember some more.

I remember this rhyme from my childhood:

Once there was an elephant who tried to use the telephant.
I mean, once there was an elephone who tried to use the telephone.

I could of sworn it was the grape. A noble plant which provides us with wine.

Proboscidean jokes were apparently popular when I was a child.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mouse?
elephantmousesin(theta).

flytrap, I don’t get your joke.

I thought the elephant painted its toenails red to hide in the strawberry patch.

swampy, salmon patties??? Eeeewwww… do English peas talk with an accent?

The cross product of two vectors with the angle theta between them is their product multiplied by the sine of the angle theta. ABsin(theta)

How do you stop an elephant from sitting on your fence?

You don’t. He’s an elephant.

Why are elephants aways late for their flights?

They take forever to pack their trunks

I got a rew(ish) phone today ,since my old one wouldn’t hold onto a charging cable. I’m drinking a Blood Orange Hoppy Ki Yay ,and making chipolte BBQ chicken. Almost hockey time.
GO PREDS!!!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

elephino (sound it out)

Try the waitress and tip the veal. :wink:

No, no…it’s to hide in the jelly bean jar. :smiley:

swampy, you’ve flung a cravin’ for salmon patties on me now. :stuck_out_tongue:

doggio, it’s duck season. GO PREDS!

SIL is out of surgery and recovering at home with both of her kids in attendance. The permanent crown has been installed. I’m socking more back in next year’s HSA to cover the other front tooth so they’ll match.

I saw Ringling Bros. Circus around age 8. I was unimpressed. My brother cried through it. At least I get references to a “three-ringed circus.”

However, I have seen the Russian circus an number of times, and it is a totally different animal, with actually, no animals involved. They have clowns who talk and aren’t scary, and acrobats who are more Cirque de Soleil-like, except somehow not as pretentious. I saw a silk act long before it was heard of in the US in Moscow.

I have also seen Chinese acrobats, who are amazing. There is room for this kind of entertainment, just without the animals, in the world. Other countries make it work, and bring it to the US from time to time. I don’t see why there couldn’t be a US circus without animal acts.

What’s harder than getting a pregnant elephant into the backseat of a volkswagon?

Getting an elephant pregnant in the backseat of a volkswagon.

Happy Moonday!

I have been a slouch today. Slept until 8:30, puttered around for a bit, went back to bed and didn’t wake up until after 5.

Going to the armpit takes a lot out of me.
It wasn’t a bad trip, but it’s over and done with until I have to go back down in August. I have a birthday party to attend on the 5th and a Dr appt on the 28th.
We’ll see if the birthday party still happens, as it is for my friend whose birthday is this week, but it got postponed because her husband wanted to separate, but now he is back and wants to work things out.
If I told you the whole sordid story you would swear I was making things up.

I finally got my chest of drawers moved, now I have to decide where to put it.
However, the TV is still missing.
Sunny, about the TV, when I moved out I left a few things behind.
There was a dresser I wanted, and my TV, and a few other things.
Then my niece moved in with her kids. They are keeping the dresser, and my TV has disappeared. Everybody says they don’t know where it is, I don’t believe them.

It’s been overcast all day, and chilly.

I still think about the puppy. I am so tempted to call the breeder and ask if he is still available. This is a good time to adopt because the weather is nice for housebreaking.

I think the cat is lonely. He was very excited when we got home yesterday. I really don’t want another cat though. I’m not sure how he would handle another one anyway. He flattened the other cat that tried to come near me at the shelter, and he would sometimes try to get between me and the dog.
The little grey cat is still hanging around out back.

I’m a bit bummed that the grease stains didn’t come out the the shirt I was wearing when the taco dripped on my. This is a comfy shirt.

I forgot the original question.

I went to the circus when I was about 5, maybe 6. Just me and my father.
I think I liked it, it was a long time ago.
Then I went again, I’m trying to remember when. It was fun, but not something I’d want to do over and over.

Yes it would be. Being nostalgic is nowhere near advocating for something.
How do you get an elephant into the fridge?

[spoiler]

  1. Open door.
  2. Insert elephant.
  3. Close door.

How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?

[spoiler]

  1. Open door.
  2. Remove elephant.
  3. Insert giraffe.
  4. Close door.
    [/spoiler][/spoiler]

And the lingering scent of peanut butter cookies in the kitchen.

I shot an elephant in my pajamas once …

What’s the strongest thing in the world?

A fart; even an elephant can’t hold one back.

(That may be the first time that joke ran through my brain in 50 years)

(elephant jokes were big back then)

If we’re ever single at the same time … wanna get married? :wink:
Don’t get me wrong; I love animals and there are groups out there doing amazing work. That just ain’t one of them and I could live without them quite contentedly.