The crime scene: An oriental eatery in the bad part of Eureka, California.
The victim: An order of Pad Thai priced at $6.75.
The gory details: The body resembled common store-bought fettucine by the time it was found, and the smell indicated it had been rotting for some time. She had suffered repeated spatula wounds, drawing prodigious amounts of ketchup. There was no detectable trace of her trademark perfume, concocted from fish sauce and tamarind juice. She had been stripped of everything but her green onions; suspicions of sexual assault are awaiting lab results.
The primary suspect: Little is known, but reports indicate he or she is definately not Oriental, and was overheard remarking “the closest I’ve ever been to Asia is Tijuana.”
Judge Mouth recommends the death penalty. Judge Stomach is more forgiving, and suggests he merely be sentenced to life operating a deep-fryer at McDonalds State Prison.
Please comment and critique my first sub-issue rant. Replies need not be comprehensible. Thank you.
You may have a case of justufiable homicide on your hands here.
Was the victim so henious that it’s continual exsistance may have been a danger to itself or the population as a whole?
Were the perpitrators of the crime perhaps trying to save themselves and the rest of the world from a terrible fate?
Maybe along the lines of Dr. Kervorkian, it was not so much a murder as a mercy killing.
Was the victim in such sad shape that what continued exsistance it may have had was such a sad future that the perpatrators were only putting it out of it’s misery?
Clearly more information is needed about the victim and the modivations of the slayers