Paul, its a reasonable enough name, it has served me well down through the years. Okay so when people hear that it means “small” in Latin and they notice that I’m 6 2" it does set them wondering about where the ‘small’ comes into play, but all in all its not too bad and Latin speakers are slowly dying out…but today the name has a vile taste.
I want to spit the name out as I scream "how’d ya like them apples PAUL! ? " as I stand over the recently disembowelled FOREX employee who shares my name.
I can understand that you wont change my money PAUL , fine there isn’t a huge call for Federation roubles here but PAUL I brought these roubles here PAUL and there’s more than £1000 worth PAUL and I have the fucking receipt PAUL and I want to avail of the service you advertise of commission free cash back with receipt PAUL.
What’s that you mulchified nametagged vermin? You won’t accept them because they might be forged? Well whyfore did your company sell me possibly forged money PAUL ?
Okay this kind of thing can happen and is much to get upset about but let me ask you this PAUL where did you get the attitude? Why the sneer? You don’t know that I need the cash, I’m simply here changing the money isn’t that what happens in a FOREX PAUL ?
I’ve been on your side of the counter PAUL, I’ve done some pretty menial work but you know why I didn’t develop that condescending sneer PAUL ? Its because I knew that I had the intelligence, the wherewithal, and the drive to move on and get the things I want. You don’t seem to have that PAUL because you seem to be of the impression that working in your little box makes you some sort of winner when if you knew what the rest of us did then you’d see yourself as the fart-sniffing grandiose anus-licking loser you really are.
You tried to embarrass me PAUL , you tried to convey to me the fact that I was obviously not in the same financial spectrum as a fuckstick who stands in a plastic cubicle with a fucking nametag, because I wanted my money changed and seemed perhaps a little too eager. Did you think that because there was a queue I would simply step away ?
You picked the wrong guy PAUL because PAUL I not only think I’m better than you , I know I’m better than you. I make more money PAUL , I’ve been more places PAUL , I’ve lived the kind of life you don’t even have the imagination to dream about PAUL , I’ve seen highs and lows PAUL whereas your life is looking pretty grey and balanced on the median there PAUL
I took the very greatest of satisfaction in emptying all the notes in the ol travel wallet into the little plastic well through which you have the only contact you ever deserve with another human. As you sorted out which currency was which and called your boss three times to figure out the Tunisian rate I smiled as you started to panic. Did you notice how the shop started filling up then PAUL ? All alone behind your plastic box did you start to get a bit hassled PAUL ? Did you notice the Americans leave when they saw that you had had to check you reference books to divine the difference between Estonian and Swedish? Did it really bite when you had to hand over £412 and a receipt literally longer than my arm? It sure looked like you were pissed off PAUL and I’m real sorry about that but maybe, just maybe, next time you’ll change the fucking money your company sold me without any fucking questions you pus-sucking witless but-licking fuckstick of a waste of skin you.
Love,
Paul
